[UTbrie]

Ok, I am starting to reach my boiling point with this CW and I need some perspective or ideas on how to handle this situation.

A few weeks ago, my FS's GAL stopped unsupervised overnight/weekend visits that CW had set up by filing an emergency motion. It was approved on a Friday, CW doesn't work Fridays. He was very upset about it the following Monday, and from previous post I wrote, was lashing out at me about it via email asking me why I didn't tell him about it. (Uh, cause I didn't know about it till Friday afternoon! ERG! Not my job anyway, it's the court/GAL's job)

ANYWAY, so CW fires back an email to me demanding to know when I am available.

"In light of the court order suspending unsupervised visitations until 2/14/12 court review hearing, please e-mail me today what one hour time blocks each day of the week you could provide two way transportation for child **** at the Visitation Center, so I can promptly schedule Mom/child’s visits. Also, when and how did you become aware of the GAL’s intention to file a motion to suspend unsupervised Mom/child visits? I was not aware until moments ago, given the order was not received or reported to me as intended at the time of our Thurs. eve. 1/26/12 visit at your home."

I let him know the times I am available last week and this weekend. We did the visit last Saturday without problem. When I emailed CW to find out when visit was scheduled this week, he was like "whenever it was scheduled last week". I let him know that I can't do it at that time this week because I am "on call" at work, and am more than likely to be called into work. I would then not be able to make it to visit.

He was irritated that I didn't know that they automatically made it the same time every week.

I know this is normal protocol, but the wording int he email made it sound like it was just the next two weekends that need to be scheduled.

Court is this Tuesday, and CW has made it clear he will be trying to send him home, so I assumed he wasn't going to be scheduling routine visits until he heard what the court would decide on Tuesday. They are also discussing visitation at this hearing since GAL filed and got emergency motion approved to stop unsupervised.

I told him I would be able to do it another time, but he was insistant that this visit be this Saturday since it was previously scheduled that day.

"It is my understanding Mom/child’s visits were scheduled for Sat.’s 9A-10A, supervised at the VC, so this is the assigned time.Naturally, if child is reunified on 2/14/12 with Mom that is a mute point. Otherwise, that is the time scheduled."

I told him (and he was already aware), that I am on call one Saturday EACH month. So, potentially I may not be able to get him to visitation 1x month out of 4. How can this be good??? It will look bad on me, but I can't do anything about it since CW is insistant. So, he basically knows I cannot take him to the visit this weekend.

What do I do from here????

[SFrati]

Can you call in a favor from a friend who has had a background check done? I have never attempted having someone else pick up the kids from a visit but it might be your last resort if this CW does back off and realize you have a life too. Good luck!

[going2bparents]

First, I would not communicate with this worker unless by email that is CC'd to his supervisor. I have a SW who also has conversations with me when I am not present.....

Right now I would say to him that he is going to need to transport Saturday or get a respite provider for you who can transport since you are working and not available. I wouldn't argue over whether or not Sat was discussed as it sounds like he is trying to cover his butt and throw you under the bus. Be firm. Okay, so visit is Sat, I can't transport him, here are two options for you, what would you like to do?

I can't stress enough the importance of emailing him and his supervisor moving forward with all communication.

[pammi716]

You tell him that you will no longer transport FC to any visits. That he must provide transport to and from any and all visits. Since he was unwilling to find out if you were able to transport and when, and so scheduled on a day that you were unable to do so, and that you will not put your job in jeopordy due to his lack of communication pertainting to this matter. Let him figure it out.

I do transport my FK's and I also have the CW find transportation when a date does interfere with my schedule. We are not required to transport. They will let you believe it even some CW's will demand it. You can say NO. I would also let his supervisor know what is going on.

[going2bparents]

Originally Posted by pammi716

You tell him that you will no longer transport FC to any visits. That he must provide transport to and from any and all visits. Since he was unwilling to find out if you were able to transport and when, and so scheduled on a day that you were unable to do so, and that you will not put your job in jeopordy due to his lack of communication pertainting to this matter. Let him figure it out.

I do transport my FK's and I also have the CW find transportation when a date does interfere with my schedule. We are not required to transport. They will let you believe it even some CW's will demand it. You can say NO. I would also let his supervisor know what is going on.

Here we are required to transport if at all possible. So depending on her area, she may not be able to refuse to transport indefinitely.

[UTbrie]

Well, they CAN transport, but they really push FP to do most of the visitation.

CW arranged for visit supervisors/assistants to pick FS up/drop off at daycare so that biomo could have in-home visits. This was before overnights started. So, when that happened, I didn't have to take him to visits anymore since the in-home visits were in mom's home and during the weekday.

However, since the court order, he started back at the visitation center (last saturday). And of course, CW sent the above copied email asking me to transport.

However, when I told him that I would MOST LIKELY not be able to make it, because we are getting called into work 90% of the time that we are on call. This was his response:

I recommend you consult with the Visitation Center directly as needed, for your reference.

The main number is *******. This is where you would call to cancel if you are called into work at the last minute if you should need to cancel as well (pr. usual).

SO, he is recommending to me in writing, to cancel each time I get called into work on a Saturday. I am on call 1xmonth. So, 25% of visits could be cancelled BECAUSE OF ME....that won't look good, and I think CW is doing this on purpose to make it look like I am being inflexible!!!

[HDMom]

I'm sure things are different everywhere, but I experienced the same thing in terms of visitation challenges and the responses were different depending on the CW. I have transported FD to and from visits for over ten months now and even supervised them for several months (came to a grinding halt by me because of an "anonymous" allegation of abuse). When I asked the first CW (jerk) if occasionally we could change the visitation day or time due to my work schedule, he threatened to move FD. With the second CW, there was a visit I could not do because I was out of state, the CW made arrangements to pick up FD from school and bring her back afterward.

So, in my not-so-vast experience, I'd say if the CW is stuck on a certain day and time and you cannot always provide transportation, they should help you out.

I am all in favor of doing whatever I can to help, but it seems like we FPs usually are the ones to bend, bend, bend over backwards.

Good CW's are worth their weight in gold.

[MomInCorazon]

Could you respond with something like "Of course if I am not called into work I will gladly transport *** to his visit this Saturday. Given the high likelihood that I will have to work, however, it would be helpful if DCF could plan to provide transportation so that the visit will not have to be cancelled. I would hate to see *** or his mom miss a visit which with appropriate planning could be made." This would put the responsibility back on the CW to transport or knowingly set the visit up for likely cancellation.

[going2bparents]

Originally Posted by MomInCorazon

Could you respond with something like "Of course if I am not called into work I will gladly transport *** to his visit this Saturday. Given the high likelihood that I will have to work, however, it would be helpful if DCF could plan to provide transportation so that the visit will not have to be cancelled. I would hate to see *** or his mom miss a visit which with appropriate planning could be made." This would put the responsibility back on the CW to transport or knowingly set the visit up for likely cancellation.

I like this. I would email this suggestion to the SW and his supervisor!

[TemporaryMom]

Originally Posted by going2bparents

First, I would not communicate with this worker unless by email that is CC'd to his supervisor. I have a SW who also has conversations with me when I am not present.....

Right now I would say to him that he is going to need to transport Saturday or get a respite provider for you who can transport since you are working and not available. I wouldn't argue over whether or not Sat was discussed as it sounds like he is trying to cover his butt and throw you under the bus. Be firm. Okay, so visit is Sat, I can't transport him, here are two options for you, what would you like to do?

I can't stress enough the importance of emailing him and his supervisor moving forward with all communication.

I agree!! I had the same CW from Heck and the last year, I copied her supervisor and my foster worker on EVERY email. She tried to throw me under the bus several times but my FW had been witness and stood up for me.

I don't think it would help to point out to him that it is "moot point" not "mute point" although my fingers would be itching to type that...

I am so glad that we aren't required to transport except the little guys. (Under 2)

[MomInCorazon]

Originally Posted by TemporaryMom

I don't think it would help to point out to him that it is "moot point" not "mute point" although my fingers would be itching to type that...

I wouldn't have pointed it out but I would have found a way to put the proper terminology into my own email - correctly of course.

[Kezs]

All I can say is good luck. I think you are absolutely right in that he is trying to set you up to fail. If you fail and cancel, then he can say you are not supporting RU, and it will be easier to move the little boy back. I know that you support RU, and you just want whatever is best for him, so it is so stupid that the CW is doing this.

I would definitely email the CW, and copy the supervisor, and write something like "I have been reviewing the emails you have sent to me. I am concerned that because I will be forced to cancel 25% of the visits if they remain on Saturdays, it could look as though I am not supporting the visitation schedule. I would feel more comfortable if you could provide your plan for transportation on the visit days that I work. I do not want (Child) to miss a visit because of my work schedule. As an alternative, I am off every XX day, and if visits could be moved to that time then I would be happy to garauntee transport."

You are in a no-win situation here. Good luck, and vent here any time!

[mandylei]

HAhahah MUTE!!

Soooo...I WOULD cc all emails to his supervisor and I would also respons with "these are the days I am on call" Please plan for someone to transport on these days in case I am on call

[jeni-b]

If he is asking that you communicate with the visitation center directly, I'd call them and attempt to get an alternate schedule.

[UTbrie]

HAHHAHA!!! I needed that laugh at CW expense! Lol. THanks! "Its a mute/moot point! Wish I could find a way to rub that in! But, I basically combined the two suggestions on wording to an email. I CC'd CW supervisor and the GAL. He words things in a way that make it seem like it is my fault (like we had to schedule on Sat due to fostermom's request because of multiple appointments) Here is another snipet of his email to me:

I have attempted to work collaboratively with the Visitation Center to avoid the many inconvenient times cited in your prior e-mails, particularly on your Friday off day Umm...they weren't just inconvenient! I only have 1 weekday off per week. SInce I work so late mon-thur, I can't make FS's OT, Counseling or Pediatrician's appt any other day. THese appts were made in advance and are VERY difficult to reschedule due to the practitioners schedule!! This is why he states he scheduled on a Saturday...because I told him about this appts. Apparently these are just inconvenient appointments to him! ERG!!!

Here is the email I think I will submit? CC'd of course to GAL/Supervisor.

Of course if I am not called into work I will gladly transport **** to his visit this Saturday. Given the high likelihood that I will have to work, however, it would be helpful if DCF could plan to provide transportation so that the visit will not have to be cancelled. I would hate to see ****or his mom miss a visit which with appropriate planning could be made. I have been reviewing the emails you have sent to me. I am concerned that because I may be forced to cancel 25% of the visits if they remain on Saturdays, it could look as though I am not supporting the visitation schedule. I would feel more comfortable if you could provide your plan for transportation on the visit days that I work. I do not want **** to miss a visit because of my work schedule. As an alternative, I am off every Friday, and if visits could be moved to that time then I would be happy to garauntee transport, even if it means rescheduling difficult to obtain Counseling, Occupational Therapy or medical appointments for ****."