[emilytalenda]

Hi, this is my first post. I really need some advice on kinship fostering. Here we go. Baby N was born to a mother with 4 different drugs in her system at time of delivery. She also had her twin girls taken from her a few years back, so cps sent this baby home with a foster family. One week later we went to court and were appointed kinship foster for the baby. My husband is dads brother. At the hearing they told foster mom they would not work with her to get the baby back. My question is, how likely is dad to get the baby back. He has been on unemployment from about two hears, has a moderate criminal background, and lives with the mother of the child. He has considered leaving her to try to get the child back. But he has no stable home, no car and barely any money. Please advise!

[Fostermom22]

First, welcome to the boards.

Speaking as a SW...Unless Mom lost the twin girls w/in the last few years and they were involuntarily terminated they will most likely have to give Mom a case plan. That being said it does not mean they will go "above and beyond" to help her. Dad will have the same thing...he will have conditions that he needs to meet in order to get the child back. As to the likeliness that he will do so, it is hard to answer without knowing Dad.

There should be a hearing that will come up in the next couple months which will outline what everyone is required to do.

Good luck and I'm glad Baby N has someone to take care of them.

[wcurry66]

Welcome to the roller coaster that is kinship care

Its great that you were aware from the beginning and made your request known. Too many of us don't hear until the child has bonded with a foster family.

In the state i was involved in, FAS/drugs present at birth, combined with he prior involuntary TPRs can result in automatic TPR on mom's side.

Dad will likely get a plan. He'll need to step up or lose. The unemployment will not go against him . His criminal background MAY, depending on the charges. If BMwas involuntarily TPR'd, he's going to need to move out of her place and show he can support himself and the baby. Is he apt to do that?

good luck!

[emilytalenda]

She did recently lose her two girls in the past few years. The foster care worker told the judge she didn't want to work with her meaning she didn't want to give her a plan. This is probably due to the following: Baby N had been in foster care for one week after birth, and she got a chance to have a 1 hour visit with him the day before the hearing, and she came up positive for 3 different types of drugs. Birth Dad's drug screen came up as "tampered with" because he had taken a cleanser to fake his drug screen. The foster care workers and cps workers have been optimistic that we will get him permanently and said they are working towards that, although they still have to give him a plan. The foster care case worker told us that she didn't think it would take the whole year to get him permanently. I really hope not, he is 3 weeks old and we have had him 5 days and love him so much !
Thanks for your replies, any other thoughts? In Texas after 6 months that the child has been with you, you can file for termination of parent's rights. Is anyone familiar with this?

[emilytalenda]

Oh wcurry66, I knew the child was in foster care because I'm the one that called CPS. The case worker said he would need employment, and a stable living condition. And that living with his mother wouldn't cut it. On unemployment he would not be able to afford daycare or care for the baby. He uses most of his unemployment money for his 2 other children's child support. He has 4 in all, all from different mothers.

[MomInCorazon]

Originally Posted by emilytalenda

The foster care workers and cps workers have been optimistic that we will get him permanently and said they are working towards that, although they still have to give him a plan. The foster care case worker told us that she didn't think it would take the whole year to get him permanently. I really hope not, he is 3 weeks old and we have had him 5 days and love him so much !

Please do not believe anyone who tells you this soon that you will get the baby permanently. Yes, things should move faster because the child is so young but it is just too soon to know if Dad will work his case plan. I would also really caution you about telling people involved with the case that you want to adopt. The goal currently has to be reunification and you need to support that. That doesn't mean you don't want to keep the child but you have to publicly support any efforts on the bios' part to work any plans they are given. And this is especially true since you were the one who called CPS. You do not want someone to claim that you made that call so you could have an easy pathway to adopting this child (they may accuse you of stealing the child). I'm sure your intentions are above-board but so much of the foster care world, esp. when it comes to FPs, is about perception. As for dad's umployment and living situation, please know that as part of a plan CPS may indeed work to help him find a job and a place to live. Will he comply? Maybe not. But they can offer a LOT of services to bios to help them work their plans. BTDT with kinship care.

Good luck and welcome!

[BAC4343]

Be prepared for heartbreak. The system will do everything possible to get the child back with the birth family. The fact that the child was born exposed to drugs and they have had previous children taken away is usually not a considered factor in whether they go back or not. I have had 2 kids in this situation and it was still RU. I have had birth parents refused to participate in their parenting classes and drug programs and still they went with RU. Extensive criminal history, unemployment, lack of housing, lack of transportation, and lack of money is not a factor either. In my current situation the judge just ruled that the birth parents qualified for free housing, free transportation, extra welfare service, and hired assistance for the birth parents. You never know what will happen, but it is always best to be prepared and know that what you think should happen is not usually what does.

[CaddoRose]

There is no way for anyone to know what will happen, even the CW and those who know the previous case. Foster care is such a roller coaster ride. From the info you have given, it's unlikely that either parent will be successful working a plan and the failure to work the plan would lead to TPR. In most cases, a parent is given a year to work a plan and then possibly more time after that if they can show progress. Every judge decides differently what progress means by the way.

[JLMom]

Kinship is hard cause you know the people involved & you know more about their basic character & chance of long-term success than any cps worker. However, don't assume just because you know things that it will have any bearing on the outcome. With ours it took nearly 3 years to get to tpr (they finally signed or we'd still be going) all the while doing less than nothing towards progress.

[emilytalenda]

I guess I can just hope for the best.....