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  #1  
Old 02-06-2012, 04:37 PM
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1000amys 1000amys is offline
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Foster-Adopt Placement - More foster, not so much adopt

So, it looks like our little kids are headed home to their mom. She has surprised everybody by doing everything that has been asked of her, and if everything goes well the kids will be moving out in two weeks. Of course we understood that as a "legal risk" placement, we might not be able to adopt, but still we have been picturing a forever future with these two for six months now.

Here's the surprise twist - I am not totally devastated. Don't get me wrong - they are as perfect a match as could be, we love them tremendously, they are finally settling in and becoming more fun than work, and we would adopt them in a heartbeat. But, after meeting their mom last week, I suddenly felt a lot better about them going home to her. She actually seemed to be sincere in her understanding of how much she has to learn and how hard this transition will be for her kids. I have been angry and scared and feeling sort of used, but now I feel like everything will be okay. I really wasn't expecting to feel better after meeting her. February is always a hard month since our little guy left 4 years ago (worst transition ever), and I was gearing up to have it be even worse this year. Instead I feel like we did great work as a family, and optimistic for their little family's future. Kind of like I have felt with other kids we knew were temporary placements.

They will be having an overnight this weekend, and I'm looking forward to sleeping through the night. Although, if you place bets, I'd say odds are that Hard Rock Cafe will be up at least once since her roomie will be gone. She seems to sleep better with noisy kids in her room!
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Mommy to:
Her Royal Highness, born 2001, adopted 2003
Hard Rock Cafe, born 2004, adopted 2006

Mister Fix-It, born 2009 (previously foster-adopt, then reunified, now back with us)
Miss Growly Bear, born 2010 (previously foster-adopt, then reunified, now back with us)

Nine former foster children
Married to their Mama since 1998

Mr. Incredible: What are you waiting for?
Little Boy: I don't know. Something amazing, I guess.
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  #2  
Old 02-06-2012, 05:56 PM
Jensboys Jensboys is offline
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Hugs. Glad to know you are going to be ok through this one. And many prayers that the kids handle the transition ok.
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Jensboys - Mom of 4 Boys (2 adopted, 2 biological) and 2 girls Reunited Sister
The boys were adopted in 1999 and our girls were placed May, 2009 and we were awarded permanent custody May, 2010

Blogging about reunion, transracial parenting, fostering, adoption and life as a minority family in a rural community. And oh yeah, then I got cancer.

I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise.
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Old 02-06-2012, 09:50 PM
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1000amys 1000amys is offline
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Thanks, Jen! It's still hard, but it's not the end of the world like I thought it would be. That just feels like an amazing gift right now.
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Mommy to:
Her Royal Highness, born 2001, adopted 2003
Hard Rock Cafe, born 2004, adopted 2006

Mister Fix-It, born 2009 (previously foster-adopt, then reunified, now back with us)
Miss Growly Bear, born 2010 (previously foster-adopt, then reunified, now back with us)

Nine former foster children
Married to their Mama since 1998

Mr. Incredible: What are you waiting for?
Little Boy: I don't know. Something amazing, I guess.
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  #4  
Old 02-07-2012, 05:40 AM
Sueby Sueby is offline
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What a great outlook! I'm sorry the ending isn't what you desired, but to me, it looks like you couldn't have done a better job with those little ones. Kudos to you and your family
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