[Soexcited86]

IN ADVANCE YES IM YELLING ... I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING THEY HAVE REQUESTED OF ME. THEY TOLD ME IT WOULD BE HARD FOR ME FOSTER WITHOUT A CAR. SO WHAT DO I DO I GO OUT AND GET ONE. TAGS& FULL COVERAGE. THEY TELL ME I HAVE TO HAVE TO GET A CARSEAT.(CHECK) COMPLETE MY FIRST HOME STUDY. (CHECK) THEY TELL ME I HAVE TO GET THE HEALTH CERTIFICATE FILLED OUT AND TURNED IN (CHECK) THEY SAY I HAVE TO GET A BACKGROUND CHECK DONE ON MY BF (CHECK) TO COMPLETE THE PROCESS OF THE BACKGROUND CHECK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH HOOPS AND HURDLES. I LIVE IN FLORIDA AND FOR 2 1/2 WEEKS IM ON THE PHONE WITH TEXAS' STATE ATTORNEYS OFFICES , CLERK OF COURT AND GETTING SHUFFLED AROUND UNTIL I FINALLY FIND SOMEONE TO HELP ME. SO WHEN I FIND THE INFO I NEED OF COURSE THEYRE GOING TO CHARGE ME FOR IT. SO I PAY UP!!! WAIT FOR THE INFORMATION COME TX TO FL AND THEN I MAKE COPIES AND SEND IT TO TALLY... EVERYTIME I TALK TO THE FOSTER REP SHE ALWAYS HAS A DIFFERENT ANSWER OR HAS TO ASK HER SUPERVISOR.. SHE NEVER KNOWS ANYTHING. IF I TALK TO THE ADOPTION REP SHE REFERS EVERYTHING BACK TO FOSTER REP. IM GOING IN A NEVER ENDING CIRCLE. EVERYTIME I ASK THEM SOMETHING THEY BRING MY BF IN THE MIX OF THINGS. ITS NOT ABOUT HIM. WERE THROUGH THE BACKGROUND PHASE. LAST TIME I CHECK IT WAS ME SITTING IN MAPP CLASS FOR COUNTLESS HOURS AND FILLING OUT THE PHONEBOOK OF INFORMATION THEIR REQUESTING AND LETTING THEM IN MY PERSONAL LIFE. ITS LIKE THEY ARE TRYING TO DISCOURAGING ME FROM FOSTERING AND ADOPTION. IM ADOPTING/FOSTER AS A SINGLE PARENT BUT AS USUAL THEY BRING HIM BACK IN THE MIX. DO I HAVE BREAK UP WITH HIM TO GET THEM OFF MY CASE ABOUT HIM??? ITS JUST SOMETHING THESE PPL DONT LIKE ABOUT ME. IT MAY BE THE FACT THAT IM OVERWEIGHT.. BUT BEING OVERWEIGHT DOESNT MAKE YOU DIRTY. WHEN MY HOMESTUDY WAS DONE MY HOUSE WAS IMPECCABLE SO SHE CANT SAY MY HOME WASNT CLEAN . IM JUST LOST. I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING THEY HAVE ASKED ME AND IM STILL HITTING THAT BRICK WALL! I FEEL LIKE A CRASH TEST DUMMY.. I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. ITS IN MY <3 TO FOSTER/ADOPT CAN SOMEONE HELP ME TO STAY ENCOURAGED AND GET OVER THE HUMP!

[TemporaryMom]

Wow, what is with that agency! You shouldn't have so much trouble. Single parenting and weight should not matter. I am single parent, and obese, but have standard perfectly fine health assessment as others.

I am sorry that you are having so much difficulty. Honestly, I don't see why you are having to do all of this stuff yourself. Other than medical assessment, financial assessments, life bio, etc, I didn't have to get any of my own papers together, they did it all.

hang in there, hopefully there will be an end to the paperwork craziness and they'll get you hooked up.

[Fostermom22]

Hang in there....I used to work in FL and they can be VERY slow on things. I'm now in WI and when I went through everything I got questioned several times about how I would handle the dating piece with children and what if we broke up, etc....it can take a long time to get through everything but it will be worth it.

Are you waiting for the homestudy to be finalized or what phase are you at?

[skc515]

Wow it does sound like a lot of hoops. IMO, there needs to be a lot of hoops.

Think of it this way.. the state is entrusting care of children to an unknown. They want to check out every potential "problem" to cover their butts. For example, if they didn't check out your boyfriend, and he turned out to be violent and hurt one of your foster children, they'd be liable for not doing their due diligence.

It is inexcusable that the person doing your licensing does not know what they are doing. It doesn't sound like anything in your situation is that extraordinary.

IMO it doesn't have anything to do with you being overweight. I'm overweight, and I think there are others on this board that are too. (I remember a thread awhile back where this was discussed! lol)

Keep your chin up. Once you're done, re-licensing is much easier and less time consuming.

Also, don't break up with your BF unless he has concerns in his background check. You'll just have to answer MORE questions about why you broke up with him! lol

[Soexcited86]

Originally Posted by TemporaryMom

Wow, what is with that agency! You shouldn't have so much trouble. Single parenting and weight should not matter. I am single parent, and obese, but have standard perfectly fine health assessment as others.

I am sorry that you are having so much difficulty. Honestly, I don't see why you are having to do all of this stuff yourself. Other than medical assessment, financial assessments, life bio, etc, I didn't have to get any of my own papers together, they did it all.

hang in there, hopefully there will be an end to the paperwork craziness and they'll get you hooked up.

They fight me on everything and for the life of me I just cant understand it. They keep talking about him. I have bought all this stuff to become a foster parent and now im just looking at it!

[Soexcited86]

Originally Posted by Fostermom22

Hang in there....I used to work in FL and they can be VERY slow on things. I'm now in WI and when I went through everything I got questioned several times about how I would handle the dating piece with children and what if we broke up, etc....it can take a long time to get through everything but it will be worth it.

Are you waiting for the homestudy to be finalized or what phase are you at?

I know I have to do my final homestudy but friday when I was trying to find out where I stand.. the phone call was disconnected

[MomInCorazon]

Originally Posted by skc515

Think of it this way.. the state is entrusting care of children to an unknown. They want to check out every potential "problem" to cover their butts. For example, if they didn't check out your boyfriend, and he turned out to be violent and hurt one of your foster children, they'd be liable for not doing their due diligence.

This. If I remember correctly, Soexcited, your BF has a criminal record. The state MUST do everything they can to screen him because if he is in your life he will be in the lives of any children placed with you. You may have every reason to trust him but the state has nothing to go on but what info they can gather - through records, interviews, recommendations, etc.

For what its worth it does all sound frustrating and there seems to be plenty they could be doing to make it easier on you. But you ask if they are trying to discourage you? It's possible. And it wouldn't be the worst thing IMO. Fostering is a hard life that only the truly committed should undertake. And make no mistake: the requirements and hoops will only continue after your licensed.

[shall0927]

Im in florida too.. what agency are you with??
I will say i went through the same thing, not a bf issue but my sister and a few other things that meant nothing.. a simple signature on a paper that didn't appear to match a different signature backed my hs up weeks.. but I will say.. once I got liscnsed I got placement the very same day.. and the timing couldnt have been more perfect.. I got my little gg and my lil M and they were (are ) both sooo precious... it's worth the wait.. just try.. to be patient.. timing is everything!

[Soexcited86]

Originally Posted by MomInCorazon

This. If I remember correctly, Soexcited, your BF has a criminal record. The state MUST do everything they can to screen him because if he is in your life he will be in the lives of any children placed with you. You may have every reason to trust him but the state has nothing to go on but what info they can gather - through records, interviews, recommendations, etc.

For what its worth it does all sound frustrating and there seems to be plenty they could be doing to make it easier on you. But you ask if they are trying to discourage you? It's possible. And it wouldn't be the worst thing IMO. Fostering is a hard life that only the truly committed should undertake. And make no mistake: the requirements and hoops will only continue after your licensed.

I can understand them going all the records and what not . I have sumbitted everything. They have recieved I have spoken with proper person and he is no longer a concern. Its about me..

[MomInCorazon]

Originally Posted by Soexcited86

I can understand them going through all the records and what not . I have sumbitted everything. They have recieved everything and I have spoken with proper person and he is no longer a concern. Its about me..

I am confused then because in your original post you seemed to stress that they keep coming back to your BF. Have you asked them then if there is anything else they would like you to address?

[Soexcited86]

Originally Posted by MomInCorazon

I am confused then because in your original post you seemed to stress that they keep coming back to your BF. Have you asked them then if there is anything else they would like you to address?

Aha! So am I. Join Club Confusion! If the state says he's cleared why do they keep going referring back to him!

[momto1g1b]

I know the feeling all to well..

We've been going through something similar.. They really need to have a check list of the things they need so that they don't forget to tell you things.

[helpfula]

Im sorry your frustarted. Aside from people delaying on paper work and human error....I see all the hoops they make potential foster parents jump through as a positive thing. Why shouldnt they painstakingly make sure the homes, that they potentially place at risk children with, are 100 percent safe? Its a headache, but the alternative is just not an option.

[Teacher8]

I see that your signature says you finished MAPP classes in Nov. 2011. My DH and I finished MAPP classes in Dec. 2007 and it was June of 2008 before we were finally licensed. It takes awhile.

[Hoping2adoptsibs]

What do they keep saying about him or you?