[taylor134]

My husband and I are soon to be new foster parents, all our information is sent off to the state and we are just waiting for the official word. Now that we have worked our way through the licensing process I have started to get more nervous about what our future placements. We don't have any biological children so we will be newbies in every sense of the word! Was there anything that you wish someone had shared with you prior to your first placement? And words of wisdom? Also I have been looking at parenting books geared towards children who have been traumatized. ("Beyond Consequences", "Wounded Children, Healing Homes", etc.) Any books that you would recommend either for us as foster parents or books that would be good additions as children's books?

Thanks in advance for any input, I have been stalking these forums for months now and have gained so much valuable information!

[jeni-b]

Building the Bonds of Attachment was a great one for me.

[MomInCorazon]

For kids I like "Maybe Days" by Jennifer Wilgoki and "A Terrible Thing Happened" by Margaret Holmes. I have also heard good things about "The Star" (Cynthia Miller Lovell) and "Murphy's Three Homes" (Jan Levinson Gilman).

[Rosey23]

Hi, I am similar in that I was not a parent before doing foster care. I like to alternate between books that address foster care and adoption and just plain parenting books. In some ways not having children has been a blessing, we know little of normal childhood development so are better at just going with were a child is without over analyzing.

For parenting books I really like the love and logic books. I am also currently reading Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids right now. There are so many appointments with foster care, I am looking at trying to keep the rest of our lives simple.

[MrsD]

Parenting the Hurt Child by Keck and Kupecky

Love and Logic series by Cline and Fey (especially as new parents without parenting experience)

I Love You Rituals by Becky Bailey provides ideas on how to reconnect and repair after a separation (even a day at school) which can really help if you are struggling with attachment or have an unruly child who frequently comes home with behavior notes - it basically gives ideas on how to reassure the kid that you care about them, despite what happened in their day.

That's what comes to mind off the top of my head.

[CelticMomma]

Bruce Perry's "The Boy who was Raised as a Dog" and "Born for Love". The first has a bit of a strange title but really delves into the effect of early trauma on children. Goes into a bit of neurobiology but the case studies/real life examples are really eye opening. Just started the second so can't comment on it yet but it deals with the idea of the need for empathy.

There are a couple of others "Another place at the Table" and "One Small Boat" are books written by a foster mom and tell about her experiences with different children. I'm sorry that I can't remember the author.

[Fostermom22]

Originally Posted by MrsD

Parenting the Hurt Child by Keck and Kupecky

Love and Logic series by Cline and Fey (especially as new parents without parenting experience)

I Love You Rituals by Becky Bailey provides ideas on how to reconnect and repair after a separation (even a day at school) which can really help if you are struggling with attachment or have an unruly child who frequently comes home with behavior notes - it basically gives ideas on how to reassure the kid that you care about them, despite what happened in their day.

That's what comes to mind off the top of my head.

I have to second this...those are the books I was going to recommend...Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special-Needs Kids A Guide for Parents and Professionals this is also by Keck and Kupecky

Might want to look at Adoption Books: Tapestry Books - Specialist in books on adoption they have a nice selection.

[Pepperminty]

Another vote for the Keck and Kupecky books. I found them very helpful.

For general parenting/child development advice, I like the series by Ames & Ilg (like "Your Four Year Old" "Your Nine Year Old", etc.). The books may strike some as a little old-fashioned in their examples, but they are on target developmentally and they are such classics in child development literature that most libraries have them so you don't have to buy them.

[taylor134]

Thanks so much for the feedback. I ordered some of the books that were recommended and I am sure they are going to be a great resource.

[mamageee]

We also have no children of our own and are starting the process of becoming foster parents.
Here are some books I enjoyed and felt were helpful.

"Three little words, a memoir" by Ashley Rhodes-Courter

"practical tools for foster parents" by Lana Temple -Plotz

"Hope's boy" by andrew bridge

Lastly,I have got to second the reccomendation for
"Another place at the table" it is an awesome book.

just go to amazon.com and search "foster care" and "foster child" and you will find dozens more, with ratings and reviews from readers.Everytime I go on their I find more