[blueflower]

DH and I have been licensed for about 2.5 months. We were very surprised when our license went through about a week after we finished classes. Of course, we had everything done as soon as we could (finger prints, references in, etc.) which probably helped. For the first week or so I jumped everytime the phone rang and would be disappointed that it was 'just' my husband. I got over the nervous waiting pretty quickly and life has gone on with the thoughts of being foster parents in the back of our minds. Having other things to distract us has helped.

Now, I'm wondering if I need to call our LW/SW once a week or every other week just to say "hi". I have talked to her once, but it was when we had to cancel going to a class (to get hours).

The question I really have is, what do I say? I've seen it recommended in a few places on here to check in weekly or so, but can't seem to find them at moment. I'm one who needs to think through what I'm going to say in a circumstance like this or I'll bumble it and sound silly. Can someone give me a script to follow or an example of something you may have said recently?

Thanks.

[Scrapsathome]

Are you waiting for a regular foster placement, or fost/adopt? It's usually a much longer wait for a "legal risk" situation. If you're fost/adopt then, yes, I'd call her every couple of weeks to check in, but not if you're just regular foster. I'd say I'm just checking in, to see how the search is going and wondering if she has any possibilities right now or what.

Jess

[sunnyrobins]

I used to check in weekly - usually by e-mail. I would just say I was checking in to see if there were any possibilities or sometimes it would be a ask a question. Either way I did my best to stay in contact with her.

[blueflower]

Thanks for your replies. I would so prefer email, but have not been given that information. It would make it easier.

We are straight foster; our state doesn't have a foster/adopt option. I think she knows we would be interested in adoption if the right kid comes along and tpr takes place, but really we are straight foster. We are pretty open. 0-18, any gender, willing to take a sib group. (we have room for 6 but our license says 4.) Due to some extended family we are around somewhat regularly we have had to limit race to exclude one in particular, but are open to the rest. We also don't have kids so she seemed a bit weary/reluctant to start us off with any hard kids. Maybe those last two things have an effect. I'm not antsy or anything, just don't want to be forgotten.

[mom2fabtwins]

With the holidays coming up, you may want to offer the option of respite care. Many foster families need/want time off and this would give you experience.

When I have open beds, I usually send a message that reads " In an effort to reduce the amount of intakes this holiday, I don't have specific plans for the holiday, so if you get an emergency placement, please remember that I am here."

I have gotten a placement: 2 days before thanksgiving, 3 days after Memorial day and during the week between christmas and new years.

It has worked for me to keep my name in the forfront of their minds.

[blueflower]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I finally got up the nerve to just call. Seems odd that I was nervous but I wasn't sure what to say and didn't want to stick my foot in my mouth. I used the reasoning of wanting to check up on any foster parent support groups in the area "which might seem odd as all of our beds are empty, but I though it might give an opportunity to socialize." Okay, I really did want to know if there are any groups, but was proud of myself for working in the fact that all of our beds are empty/available. I think she may have picked up on it too as she did mention that it has been slow, with only two little ones placed recently (i.e. the last 3 or 4 weeks since I talked to her).

She also mentioned that my ears must have been burning as they were talking about us at their meeting on Friday where they go through all their families. She then asked how we felt about 14 year olds. This is where I was caught off guard and stumbled a bit. We really were looking at 0-12, though we put 0-18 on our homestudy after realizing it depends on the kid. I told her that we are open to a teen depending on the issues we may have to deal with. DH and I are almost 30, so we aren't old enough to have a 16 or 17 year old (well, I guess technically we could have). We also don't have kids at this point. It would feel a bit odd with not a lot of years seperating us, but it doesn't mean we won't do it. Now I'm a bit paranoid ... or excited about a possibility.

She thanked me for calling about a support group as they used to have one, but it dwindled and she was thinking of trying to see who might be interested in doing it again. I'm glad to know we weren't off their radar.

I made to sure to let her know that we are open for short term placements and respite as well. With the holidays approaching we are planning on spending time with my family (out of state) but that we would be willing to take any kids (respite or placement) along, if the agency was okay with it too. I'm not one to exclude them from family activities and my parents have always had an open door in terms of hospitalitiy. She said she would pass it along. ... I hope she didn't take it as meaning that we weren't willing to change plans or didn't have time for kids right now. Arg. I so second guess myself sometimes.

Thanks again for all your suggestions. I feel better having called. I think in a few weeks I'll send a card to her office and perhaps some baked goodies in lieu of calling. Wonder what their policy is on home baked items?