[shavon]

I feel kind of bad....My 16 yr old fs is always saying he is sick..so much so that I have stopped believing him. In the last month I have taken him to urgent care 4 times. 3 of those times NOTHING was wrong. And it was always on a day that he knew I was super busy, he even tried to say he was sick on monday which was our adoption finalization on our little girl .

He went to the nurse yesterday morning at school and said he threw up..I was on my way to drop little man off for a visit with his dad and explained to the nurse that there was no way I could get there for a while..

He acted fine..was even going to eat 2 packs of Ramens..I took them from him and said that since he was sick I would make him a cup of broth and toast..so that is what he had for lunch..

I went ahead and took him back to urgent care last night and he tested positive for strep

He could not believe it when they came in and said it was positive..He said "well at least I really am sick this time" OHHHH you gotta love them right?????

[thelowlanders]

That happens here too.


There's always some sort of state of emergency. So when she said she was feeling nauseaus (sp?) I didn't really acknowledge it. Found out the next day she had spent the night in the bathroom Really felt bad, but how was I to know. Kinda like the boy who cried wolf.

[mommytoEli]

my dd did this so often i also stopped believing her and started asking the nurses, "did you see her throw up?" i instituted a very serious sick policy that basically means the sick party is alone in their room in bed doing nothing for a minimum of 24 hours with deliveries of saltines, gatorade, and plain toast. trust me, when she is sick, she appreciates this.

i have no sympathy for her when she is "sick" and i can't tell if it is real or not. i always tell her that if she wants me to be sad for her when she is REALLY sick, she can't constantly be fake sick. it HAS gotten better over time.

[Nevada Jen]

I totally have this issue with my exchange student teenager. I totally fell for it yesterday and let the kid stay home. I should have known when he said his throat was red that he was lying. He can't see his own throat!

I am so scared of him actually being sick and me not believing him and his mom being mad at me but next time, I am not going to be the wimp. I am not falling for it!

[stevenstwin]

ooops! But even he seems to admit he often isn't really sick. I was thinking more about it the other day, and thinking maybe they don't always "fake" to get attention, either. Maybe sometimes it is psychosomatic - they actually "feel" ill because of tension/trauma whatever is going on. In that case, I guess the SYMPTOMS are still genuine.

[kakuehl]

I was more of a pushover with my kids, but when I was in school, the deciding factor was the fever... no fever, hello school. (BTW, Dad was a doctor and quick with a shot of penicillin!)

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by stevenstwin

ooops! But even he seems to admit he often isn't really sick. I was thinking more about it the other day, and thinking maybe they don't always "fake" to get attention, either. Maybe sometimes it is psychosomatic - they actually "feel" ill because of tension/trauma whatever is going on. In that case, I guess the SYMPTOMS are still genuine.

my dd ALSO does this. about a month ago she called and needed to come home. she puked in the hallway on the way to the nurse, this was confirmed, so i went to pick her up. my first question was, "what test do you have this afternoon?" lol. well...it was math, and earlier in the day she had to see the teacher she had lied to the day before who had emailed me and i told the teacher the truth. so between her knowing the teacher knew she lied and then having a test in a subject she is failing, she had a "nervous belly." i still did the 24 hour sick policy, and then she went back to school. was she really sick? um....yeah, her body felt like it was, but it most likely all started with a lie and a test. lol. this is pretty typical for her.

i remember faking sick when i was a kid (not as often as my dd though), and my mom would say, "i'll call the doctor and we can go in and get you a shot to help you feel better." no thanks, i'd feel better before school started and go to school instead! lol. i fell for that for YEARS!

[chloroxsis]

I wonder sometimes if the child is having problems with stress or pressure, and they misunderstand that feeling for a feeling of illness. They really think they are sick. My rule is you have to have a fever. I know...you can be sick without a fever, but that's how I can stay home from work, and when I get a child, she can stay home from a school.

I heard a principal say once, she asks kids if their moms knew they were sick when they came to school. If they say yes, she sends them back to class!

I remember helping a friend help her daughter learn that her stomach hurting was butterflies, and not illness. It took a long time and she had to enlist the nurse's help.

I really don't think they always know.

Good luck!

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by chloroxsis

I wonder sometimes if the child is having problems with stress or pressure, and they misunderstand that feeling for a feeling of illness. They really think they are sick.

i completely believe this. when my then 8 year old moved in, it took two years to get her to understand what the feeling of guilt was. she felt guilt a lot. but she said it was me hurting her feelings. she would tell me i hurt her feelings and she didn't feel good inside. um...no....you know you did something wrong.....you don't feel good inside because you don't like that you did something wrong, and you don't like that you got caught. the social worker actually wrote into her case plan that she would be able to recognize the difference in certain feelings- and she included guilt. i honestly believe she did not know before then. i have also had to teach her what the feeling of anxiety is....although that is a harder one for her to get. this last time she was sick, i think she recognized that she was anxious, and saw that the 2 situations that book ended her day were stressful, but still wanted to believe she was truly sick. but no fever, only threw up once, felt better as soon as she got home. we talked about not letting stress run your life, how to manage stress, and she got the 24 hour sick care treatment. she wasn't thrilled. but i think what actually made her listen to my speech a little was the fact she threw up on her favorite shoes. i had her throw them away bc i do NOT put puke things in my washer. when she lost something she really cared about...i think she was a little more interested in talking about managing stress. it is something i think is so important for her to learn....bc she can't go through life puking everytime she is stressed out.

[shavon]

I have really tought about this situation and if he was still in grade school I would think that he just doesnt know the difference betwen emotional sickness and true medical illness...

I have noticed a pattern with him...If I have a big day or if my son is in he gets "sick".. he has done this 4 times in the last 5 weeks and only once has he actually been diagnosed with an illness (strep throat)..

I think I am going to implement the no fever rule...He can fake puke and cough but I dont think he can fake a fever...