[o2b30again]

Here is a bit of the back story....

I am doing my children's life books. We scrap as a fun family thing. Anyways during my monthly visit with our SW she mentioned that she is now required to assemble a life book for children that she places of the age of 6. I volunteered to put them together for her and then she just needs to paste pictures and information into the appropriate page. I thought that this would be a therapeutic activity for our 8 yr old who struggles with not having much information.

Here is the problem....

SW is very general in information that she wants. I am planning on putting together these books for her but what information would be stuff that MOST children would have in their file. Our children got premade life books from the girlscouts and there was Christmas theme pages, fishing pages etc. The thought behind these was awesome but in all honest were not really what we could even use. Like most in Foster/Adopt my children didn't have a happy past. We just tried to write the good memories the children could come up with in those spaces. I don't want to have themed pages. Just simple pages etc. Adoptive parents can then start their own memory books. I want to keep it to about 10 pages.

Ideas????

[DianeS]

Hmmmm... questions about "most" foster children are always interesting, because I'm not sure there is a way to cover "most" and still stay simple - same problem you're having, I'm sure.

Well, in order to have a child, you have to have two biological parents. Even if the father space has to be left blank, it's probably necessary to have both spaces for all children.

Spaces for known siblings and half siblings, their gender and birthdate. (I'd put it as "known siblings and half siblings", too, because so many of them have siblings that aren't known about). And a space for where that sibling is at the time this one was removed into foster care (answers like "lives with father", "with adoptive parents", "deceased", "removed into foster care at the same time and placed into the same foster family with you" - things like that would be fairly typical)

Names of other relatives would be good, too. A lot of these children have grandparents, or aunts and uncles, or cousins. They may or may not be known to the child, and may or may not be involved in the child's life, or even be safe people, but the child should have a list of their names at the very least, if the names are known.

How about important medical history for each of these relatives, too? Bio parents, sibs, and extended family. Sometimes we hear about a relative with a mental illness, or one who died of a heart attack, etc, but that info can get lost or distorted pretty quickly if it isn't written down.

Places for a photo of each of these people, too. Not all children have photos, but those who do need a safe place to keep them.

And a space for the name of the person (or people) who were taking care of the child when he was removed into foster care. So often that's someone other than the parents, and can sometimes give the child the name of someone else who was important in his early life, or help the child untangle facts when he's older.

A page for the foster family, of course. Their names, photo, spaces for foster siblings names, pets names, etc. And of course the dates the child entered and left that home. The reason the child left the home can go on this page, too. "reunified with bio mother", "moved to aunt Annie's", "moved to foster family X to live with sibling Steve" - that sort of thing. This page can be reproduced as many times as needed, for a child with many moves.

General pages for "child's firsts" or "child's milestones" would be good. A baby would have first tooth, first word, first step. An older child might have first day of school, first best friend, first soccer goal. A teen might have first date, first time getting an A in school, first time driving.

As the child gets older, I would expect more detail. Perhaps a teen would be entitled to know why she wasn't moved to each of those relatives houses. Answers like "failed homestudy due to drug use" or "unable to parent a teen because of 6 young children already" would be fair to give, and could be written down.

Hopefully that's the sort of thing you were thinking about, and these ideas would help. Enjoy making those books, I'm sure the worker appreciates it.

A book put together in a way that makes it easy to photocopy would help foster parents who want to make a copy of it in case of an accident to the original, or a worker who needs a copy of it for her files.

One more thing - the cover of the book should be attractive, and boldly state that the book belongs TO THE CHILD, and the child's full legal name. Putting the mailing address for the CPS office on the back would be good, so "misplaced" books have a chance of finding their way back.

Hope that helps!

[elk134]

Great ideas Dianes! When we were working on life books, I didn't think about including extended family. I wish I would have. How do you handle siblings that the children may have known when they were younger, but have since seemed to have forgotten about. For example, we were looking at pictures of one half-sibling and the oldest only vaguely remembered her and even then he thought she was a cousin or just a family friend. Do we bring up that it is, in fact, his sister? I feel he had a right to know, but I also didn't want to add to any confusion (he was 7).

[DianeS]

Originally Posted by elk134

How do you handle siblings that the children may have known when they were younger, but have since seemed to have forgotten about. For example, we were looking at pictures of one half-sibling and the oldest only vaguely remembered her and even then he thought she was a cousin or just a family friend. Do we bring up that it is, in fact, his sister? I feel he had a right to know, but I also didn't want to add to any confusion (he was 7).

I haven't had to deal with this myself, but I would definately tell him the truth. She's his half sister, she and he have the same mother (or father), and she lives elsewhere, with other people, and name the people if you know them.

After all, we do that with cousins and other members in a typical family. Even if they only met a cousin once and barely remember doing so, we wouldn't avoid the topic just because the child didn't remember. If the child didn't understand the concept of "cousin", we'd explain the relationship. Cousin's mom and your mom are sisters... or whatever the sib relationship is in truth. If the child wanted to write a letter to his cousin, we'd all allow it and try really hard to deliver it. I don't think it should be any different just because the person in question is a biological sister.

Make sense?

[arbuckle17]

we got templated books DCFS. A few of the key things we found in there:

Tribe affiliation (if relevant)
Families I have stayed with (there is a tree for each family)
Foods : favs/dislikes
Allergies
things that calm me
my medical records
My new birth certificate (adoptive)
Fun stuff I have done -

This last section is the fun section, where you scrapbook that section alone is filled with well over 20 pages of pictures and comments documenting their life with us. We also have several dvd's slipped in the front pocket with vid footage and the hair from our youngests first hair cut.