[GaViolet]

We were supervising visits for my cousin because dfacs said they couldn't afford someone to do it. Two weeks ago my cousin was busted for meth and i don't want to do the visits. Do you think this is acceptable or should I just do them? Thanks for the advice.

[shaslove]

I don't supervise visits. They tried to push me into doing so. I said NO. It is my father who is the relative, and my step-mom. Also, the cw said no as well. I would def not supervise someone who just got busted with meth. Talk to the cw, say you are not comfortable.

[UTbrie]

I just recently finished my classes and licensure, so I do remember VERY clearly that we (foster parents) are NOT responsible for supervising visits with biofamilies. That is the County's job. But I live in Ohio, perhaps that is different in different states?

[AlexzandersMom]

Yes I have supervised visits but it was with my sister. Your situation is a little different though. My sister was never into drugs, her big thing was alcohol and I was confident that I would be able to tell if she was drinking and would have at that point asked her to leave. I was willing to take the risk because she is my sister, with a cousin I probably wouldn't have though.

[lovingheart]

I have supervised visits before, though not for a relative placement. You have the right to tell them that you will not supervise the visit and they will need to find someone else to do it. I would think that it may blur the boundaries of your relationship a lot and they may have a harder time listening to you.

[michsm]

I have supervised visits for my cousin. When her children first came into care I would not do the supervision. We were very close but I felt she needed better direction than I could give her. I told them I would not supervise until I was comfortable that she would have respect for what I had to say and that the situation would not be detrimental to the children.

There father on the other hand, have known him for 17yrs and still am not comfortable supervising visits.

With the fact that she just got busted, I would not supervise. i would have to feel comfortable that she is receiving the proper help and is on the right track before putting, the kids, myself, my family and my home environment into that situation.

With that said and the new regulations they are putting into effect here in Georgia, who knows. If they wanted me to supervise in a situation that I was not comfortable in, family or not, I would stay firm with my no. They can and are able to pay someone to do visits. There are also several places, depending on where you are, that do visits for the state at no charge. So the visits are in a safe, nuetral, supervised environment.

Good Luck

[hrisme]

I know a number of foster parents who supervise visits. However, if it's a safety issue, I'd go to your caseworker & let them know you can't accept liability for anything that happens within visits & thus they need to assign someone to supervise.

[Sunnyblu]

The other thing is if you get into a he said/she said thing. I was supervising phone calls with fkids and mat. grandma (no relation to me) and I found out she said I said something I did not - when I was on the witness stand in court! Not fun. Now all calls are monitored by CPS so there is no confusion or misperception.

[Kristin7]

I am a relative provider....i have my sisters three kids. I did not supervise the visits. I wasn't ever asked to(well Sis wanted me to), but i said NO. I said NO for a few reasons....one....i didnt want to be put in the position of having to write up a visit summary and tell how Sis related to the girls...how she was physcially or mentally or on drugs/not on drugs etc. Second....I wanted Sis to either do well or not do well....on her own accord without any interference of my own. (I enabled her to continue in her poor parenting for way too long...thinking i was helping)...and she relied on me for way too much help....she needed to succeed on her own without my input. And lastly.....my nieces were very much conflicted as to who was their real parent. These girls had lived with me for most of their lives prior to foster care...and saw my house as their home and me as the authority. They "played" with mom....their relationship was more of sister to sister than parent to child. KWIM? It wouldn't have been right for me to be there as a supervisor...and have the kids gravitate to me and not be with mom. Mom deserved to have her time with her girls.

I love my sister and it breaks my heart that she wasnt' able/chose not to do what she needed to get her girls back. But it was all her doing....I just fostered the girls and waited it out. Took three years for TPR.....and the adoption is coming in early 2010.

I'm estatic that the decision is made for the girls.....but it is truly bittersweet.

If it were a non relative family...then I may be open to doing visits......but I know I made the right decision to not supervise my sister. It didnt' matter to me her issues of why the girls were in foster care...it was all about how it affected the girls and my, and Sis' relationship.

K.

[Hadley2]

Just say no. Knowing what I know now, I'd say no even if drugs weren't involved--supervising visits, maybe especially with a family placement, is a lose-lose-lose proposition as far as I am concerned. Anyway, for a whole host of reasons, they won't remove the children over it , which is the only leverage they ever really have.

Blessings on you and your second cousins. I hope all goes well for all of you, including your cousin.

[GaViolet]

I was supposed to do one today so I was going to keep it because I had already scheduled it and they did not even show up. I am so tired of this. I am trying to get a hold of her worker and tell them I have something set up with the county visitation center they just have to send a paper. It does not even cost them any money so they better get on it.

[Chancey]

We supervised visits of a FD quite some time ago. Her parent's case was going to termination and she was going with her relatives. We did the transition visits with the relatives and it turned out very nice. I think every situation is unique and I would have to judge what I was willing to do. Safety is number one.

I have not supervised visits with parents, but numerous times I have met them at a public location when we were transitioning the kids home, for their overnight visits. That way it freed up the CW from having to transport. That has worked out well.