[GAMOM75]

I am so nervous! We just had a fost-adopt placement move in. birthmom rights were terminated a couple of months ago. CW was sure that BD would be easy since he has maybe seen child once in the past year. Child is 2 and has been in the system since birth. BD is not listed on the birth certificate. Of course notice was placed in the local paper and sure enough he shocked everyone and showed up in court. He refuses to sign over his rights and asked for an attorney. A new TPR hearing will take place next month. CW says not to worry, but I am worried. Can BD get custody? He is a minor or maybe just turned 18. He is living with relatives and is unemployed. When asked by CW today how he planned to support child, he stated "my family can take care of him" what?!!

Should I be worried?

[GAMOM75]

BTW, he KNEW that his son was in foster care and where he was staying. FM says he made very few attempts to see him or contact him and has provided zero support.

[greenrobin]

Maybe they'll offer him services, maybe they'll move straight to TPR.....I wish I could say.

It doesn't look too good for him if he knew his child was in care yet made no prior attempts to have him returned.

I am so sorry you're feeling this stress.

[GAMOM75]

Originally Posted by greenrobin

Maybe they'll offer him services, maybe they'll move straight to TPR.....I wish I could say.

It doesn't look too good for him if he knew his child was in care yet made no prior attempts to have him returned.

I am so sorry you're feeling this stress.

When you say offer him services, you mean like set him up with a case plan?

[Larue]

BD can't get custody without working a case plan, and showing that he's compliant and a fit parent. And since he lives with his family, unless he moves out, they wouldn't be able to get custody either. Also, at least in my State, they would have to pass a background check and home study. And even then there would be some serious questions about where they have been for the past 2 years.

Based on my discussions with our FD's CW and GAL, it's not necessarily uncommon for absent parents to suddenly come forward seeking custody, or non-compliant parents to suddenly start working their case plan, when TPR is looming. And sometimes it’s not because they really want to parent, but to “save face”. So they can say “See, I tried, but the State took my kid(s) away”.

After 2 years in care, I would certainly hope that the judge does what’s in your FS best interest. And grants TPR and allows him to have a permanent, safe, and loving home.

I’ll be keeping you in my prayers!

[Dickons]

He was not listed on the birth certificate.

He showed up when advertisements were posted and said he would not sign TPR and wanted a lawyer.

He is barely 18, if that so he was 15/16 when the child was born.

He should be allowed to go through whatever hoops the state requires to gain custody, he was man enough to come to court. He may not have known he was the father or thought someone else was...or just been a stupid teenager and is now starting to grow up. Give him a chance.

Regards,
Dickons

[greenrobin]

Yes, I meant a case plan.

I know that it kind of makes your blood run cold, but he still is the presumed father. I don't know if it makes a difference where he lives in your state if he's with extended family and they're all willing to work toward custody. And I really am sorry that this is such a hard life. It is what it is.

Our kids' first dad is in prison. His sentence doesn't end for another 2 years, although the inmate search website says that he could be released around Christmas of this year. Seven months ago, about 3 weeks before he signed surrenders, he sent a letter to the cw telling her that he only had a couple of more months left and that he was going to come out a changed man, he had a job lined up with a local company that paid over $20/hr and he was now a born again believer and he wanted full custody and, and, and.

When he showed up in court, he was wearing a wife beater T and had completed his tattoo sleeves. He came in, signed, got chewed out for disrespect to the court and went to the jail to await transport back.

He might have meant it at the time, or he might have just been doing more of his pathological lying.

I really wanted to believe that he loved and wanted the kids, even if it did scare me. They deserved that.

I know you love your fc. I know it's scary to think of losing him. But the state has to show every reasonable effort was made at RU before they can TPR. I got that off of our TPR order.

Hang on. Maybe he's a good guy who was just too young. Maybe he's not. Only time will tell.

[athikers]

If he has not been in the child's life and was not involved in the neglect, he may NOT need a case plan. He does not have to prove he can parent, unless he already screwed up.... he only has to prove he has a suitable place to raise the child.

[Larue]

I am a little confused by some of the posts, since the OP stated that the dad knew his son was in foster care, and has made at least a few attempts to see him. Can he then request custody 2 years later without having to demonstrate that he is capable of parenting? I'm interested in hearing what others have experienced in these types of situations.

[GAMOM75]

Originally Posted by Larue

I am a little confused by some of the posts, since the OP stated that the dad knew his son was in foster care, and has made at least a few attempts to see him. Can he then request custody 2 years later without having to demonstrate that he is capable of parenting? I'm interested in hearing what others have experienced in these types of situations.

That is exactly my questions. He was incarcerated in juvy while birthmom was pregnant. Once the baby was born he came to visit him in the hospital and then not for many months later. birthmom was also in FC so she was with child in care. BD came to visit birthmom and child a few times at the FM home over the first year and then just stopped out of the blue. I guess him and birthmom broke up or whatever. birthmom decided she just wanted to be the teenager she is and would just leave child without telling anyone to go hang out with friends. Needless to say her rights were terminated this year. At that time they attempted to search out family for the baby but no one was qualified. BD showing up to the hearing surprised everyone. Especially since he has not made any attempts to parent or even see his son. His excuse for not seeing him was "The FM was mean to him when he came over once" Honestly, I can understand how this could intimidate a teenager.

It is my understanding that BD is low functioning along with birthmom. FS is speech delayed and may be also low functioning. He will need alot of support to reach milestones and I am concerned that BD won't be albe to do it. If they give BD a case plan, will FS stay in our care while he works it? I doubt they will just give him custody with out a case plan since BD has been in and out of trouble and seems to be nomadic. Plus he has made no attempts to get him out of foster care in 2 and 1/2 years. He has not provided any support for child and has not built any kind of relationship with him.

CW keeps saying he never legitimated him. I am not sure what that means or how that plays into the situation.

[sunnymommy]

Has he taken a paternity test? If he's not on the birth certificate and just showed up upon notice in the paper, how do they know he Is the dad? Just because you are at the hospital or visit does not make you the father.

[GAMOM75]

As far as I know, no paternity test has been taken. This was actually an issue before for us since birthmom was molested by her father. That is how she ended up in foster care. She was 3 months pregnant at the time she entered care and I was concered that baby could possibly be from her father. But CW said birthmom says her dad is not the father so I guess they just went with it. Typically are paternity results required at TPR hearing or do they courts tend to just go with the info they are given?

[GAMOM75]

I found this online in regards to the laws in my state on Father rights...hopefully this will end up applying in my FS case but as we know a judge can do whatever he feels is right...I am trying to be fair to BD as I know if it were my child I would fight like crazy to keep my child. But on the same hand, I know that BD is not capable of providing for himself, let alone a child with special needs like FS.

Describe the process for doing an involuntary termination of a legal father’s or
named biological father’s rights.
A. The process differs widely between the two types of fathers. IF the biological
father has not lived with the child; not contributed to the child’s support; not
made any attempt to legitimize the child; and not provided any support or
medical care for the mother either during her pregnancy or during her
hospitalization for the birth of the child; and in addition not filed with the Putative
Father Registry, it is possible for the court to rule that he is not entitled to notice
of the termination proceeding and terminate his rights outright. If he is entitled
to notice, he has 30 days after legal notification to a petition to legitimate the
child. If he does not do so, and successfully legitimate the child, his rights can
then be terminated.It is very different with a legal father. If he doesn’t want to surrender his
parental rights and intends to parent the child, it will be difficult if not impossible
to terminate those rights unless it can be shown that he is an unfit parent.

I guess this is what the CW means when she says he has not legitmated FS. She kept saying that they did not even have to notify the father of the TPR hearing but wanted to do so just to make sure their would be no ground for an appeal. I guess now all we can do is wait and see.

[GAMOM75]

cw informed me today of the hearing dates/times incase we wanted to go. I asked her about BD case plan (if he had ever had one) cw informed me that they are not required to provide a case plan in a situation of a putative father (meaning a father who has not filed to legitmate the child). He has never filed to legitimate FS which means he is not the legal father & has no legal rights to him.

Apparently the judge agrees with this but because we were getting ready to adopt wanted to make sure we crossed the i's and t's of everything and wanted to give BD a chance to have legal representation. I am feeling a little better now,but one thing I have learned is things change quickly when dealing with foster care and TPR.

[ranoutofnames]

I can understand what you've been going through. A2's bio-dad was missing in action the entire time and then at the TPR hearing he showed up (she was almost 2yrs old). If he hadn't it would have all been signed off as "no-shows" and it would have ended there. Because he did show up and made a statement that the child is his the child's bio-dad that "legitimized" the child for the courts. He also was recognized by the courts and was given an attorney... which he promptly went to her office within a week and signed over his rights however with that he also made sure the state signed away any legal claims to file back support for while she was in custody. He wouldn't had showed up but he was trying to stay in the good graces of his parol officer and was afraid he'd get in trouble for not showing up.

You mentioned the child's bio-dad is low functioning. You need to find out if he is receiving SSDI. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT to establish BEFORE the TPR is completed (keep on the cw to have her get the information). If the bio-dad receives SSDI and he attests that the child is his bio-child then your child is likely entitled to payments which may be equal or more than any adoption subsidy you will otherwise get. Maybe it sounds tacky to some to discuss $$ but I personally think every penny counts. The child must be associated with his SSN BEFORE the TPR papers are signed in order to get the benefits.

My A1's bio-dad was on SSI when she was TPR'd. He continued to work up to his maximum, eventually had enough "points" that he qualified for SSDI but because the SSDI was obtained after TPR she isn't entitled to anything. I was told by SSA that even if he had received SSDI before the TPR she wouldn't have been entitled to anything because his SSN was never associated with her.