[michsm]

I have been waiting for an ICPC to be started forever now. I just found out a two months ago that all this time they kept telling me it was going to be started but never was because fm wanted to adopt. I had an issue with the possibility of her wanting to adopt him for a long time and then realized that if she could continue to provide him with the stability and love he has received in her home for almost two years that it would not be fair to move him.

I received a phone call almost two months ago and as we are reaching tpr date of tommorow. Fm has decided that she does not want to adopt. This brought out feelings of both happiness and sadness for me. Very sad for him having to loose yet another family and happy for the opportunity it was bringing for me and my kids who are all related to him to finally have him as a part of our family.

I received another phone call yesterday and once again the ICPC was never started. They have no plans to! It was decided that based on a five minute phone call with me about a month ago that I am not the right placement and they will not be moving forward. What!

I am the only family interested in taking him. I cannot believe she can do this. I answered her questions when she called and now this. The only information she got from me was the DSS info for where I live, my information, the names ages of the other kids in my home and wanted to know if they had any serious issues. Only 1 of them has mental heath issues (bi-polar, ocd) and she is on medication and does very well. The other factor is that I am currently unemployed. That is a temporary situation. If I could not provide for the kids in my home I would not be an open, licensed foster home. I provide for the kids very well.

So based on the fact, as I was told, that I have my hands full- she knows nothing about me or our day to day life, and that I am currently unemployed. I am out. No chance, No ICPC, No consideration, No looking at the whole picture, No seeing who I am or how I care for my kids, the structure, the love, No reading my homestudy or getting all the facts. One five minute phone call and she kicks me out the door.

Is this really possible? Isnt she bound by law to move forward with the ICPC? How can I be judged without more than a five minute conversation? I cant afford an attorney. What do I do now?

[Hadley2]

I think you can still try for this.

Write a letter addressed to the court and all parties--that means the judge (Hon. So-and-So), each of the parents' attorneys and the parents (Atty. X for Y), the social services attorney (Atty. Z for DSS), the cw, cw's supervisor, and state social service district or county office director. Send all copies certified with return receipt.

You can get the parties' names and addresses from the court clerk of the court hearing the case. If the clerk will not disclose that information, ask if she would deliver them if you send multiple copies of the same letter to the court "and all parties in the matter of (childrens' names)."

It's important to give the same information to all parties so that the judge will be able to read it. You can't just write to the judge.

Tell your story, especially note the dates you first knew of the removal, first requested placement and ICPC, first indicated you were willing and able to take the children either to foster or adopt. Include the fact that you believed ICPC had been started. Lay out that whole story.

Tell about your qualifications as a foster parent and any other community/service you do. Briefly talk about your kids' qualities and activities, how you would all make room in your home and hearts for the new additions.

Tell about your feelings for this child, any relationship you already have with him, how he would be able to reconnect with his family and his heritage.

Tell briefly how you would have stepped back in his interest if the foster family had followed through on adopting him. Now that they aren't, he has a best interest in and right to come home to his family. Put all that in terms of the child's rights to you, right to the love and care of his family, right to legal permanency and protection in his family.

I would also look up the statutory requirements in the other state for placement priority (I'm betting that if it is another southern state, placement with relatives will have a higher priority) and the statutory definition of "best interest." If you need help finding that information, let me know what state he is in. You may well find that you will be able to refer to specific laws in his state that pretty much dictate relative placement unless the state can show a compelling reason why not.

Explain how you have or intend to mitigate any negative circumstances such as unemployment or your other child's MI. If you are the only breadwinner, the employment could be a big issue, IDK, unless you have ample savings and an otherwise good track record for employment. As you say, though, and it is a good point, not placing with you would be making a permanent decision based on a temporary situation.

Make the case for placement with and adoption by you, not against the injustice of the cw--don't even mention her plan. Frame everything around your love and concern for the boy, don't let it come across as a crusade against social services.

Sounds like a lot, but keep it under two pages, one if possible. Get it sent off as quickly as possible so that social services and the attorneys have time to act on it without getting caught with their shorts down in court. They don't like that.

The ICPC should have been started when the child came into care. Then there would be a one-year window of time in which the child could be placed out of state, if needed. People act as if they have to know how a case will play out before starting one when all they really need is a concurrent case plan. But that is water under the bridge.

Good luck. I hope everything turns out well.

[michsm]

Wow! Reading that was a little overwhelming.

I have tried multiple times to find out who all the parties are and I cant even get the name of the childs GAL. I have called the courts directly and they act like the case doesnt even exsist referring me from court house to court house. It is so irritating.

Everything just seems so difficult being so far away.

Thank you for your advice. I may have to pm you in the near future.