[bookwormmommy]

Was just curious what others here thought about this. As a foster parent I understand that not all children are right for all families. In fact we are having our foster children moved to a pre adoptive home. We are license as pre adoptive but we just aren't bonding with the children so we made the hard choice to have the moved to a family that can better serve their needs. So I think I can understand her feelings.

She gave up adopted son who ‘wasn’t attaching’ - Parenting & Family

[DreamingAzure]

I read the blog when it first came out and really felt for Anita and the situation...I did find it interesting the subtitle that they used though "Mom adopts baby and then gives him back" which if you read the article/blog is not what happened at all. She didn't just take this kid back to the orphanage or the agency and hand him over and say "I'm done". I can't imagine having to make that decision. But it's good to know that Baby D is doing well in his new home

[deadcalm]

WOW!! That is a very touching story. I am glad she decided to do what was best for D, by placing him in a home with parents that can bond and love him.

[marigold]

I think it is depressing for the poor baby! It is a completely different thing to foster children and then help them into an adoptive home than to adopt a child and then chose to give them up. Of course this child is going to have bonding issues, of course it will be completely different from your biological children. She claimed to have educated herself on these things but I find it hard to believe. She said that she heard of attachment issues in OLDER adopted children. Umm every book I read claims that any child even one you adopt right out of utero could have attachment issues. I just hope this is an eye opener. Adoption is not a pretty little package. Like any good family tie it takes a lot of hardwork and energy. Maybe she wasn't ready to parent this child and I am glad he is with someone who can. It does not take a child psycologist to adopt a child like this (as we all know) and it does not take a rocket scientist to see that this woman had gotten over her head. I guess I just feel bitter, because I struggle everyday for my children and I do not think that everyparent should have to do this, I just think that I chose this path and so did she. I love my boys with all of my heart and when you have a three year old tell you they hate you or a non responsive 16m old it can be frustrating, but I got in this for the children, not for what I wanted out of a child. I am sure this is a little mixed up, but we just had a heated discussion about this last night in one of my support groups! Sorry if I rambled!

[ocracoke]

I am having some issues with this situation. Mostly because I can not find the truth in her words.

In this article she posts that D. is from South America. In almost all other blogs I have read written by her she states that D. is from Ethiopia. Since when is Ethiopia in South America?

She had D. for 18 months. She attempted to bond with him. And yet during those same 18 months she gave birth 2 times. How do you effectively bond with 3 babies in 18 months -- one of which is not a new born, has some issues, and you have a total of 5 kids in a home?

On her Today interview (I only saw little clips) she really seemed to "blame" D. for the lack of bonding.

This article posted really seems to try to make her look good and doing the right thing, but I just haven't bought into it. She has written it in a manner that really seems to be asking for sympathy for herself for the situation she has endured. My thoughts go to the child. May D. and his new family find happiness, strength and peace with their life long journey of adoption.

Samantha

[thelowlanders]

Wow...2babies during that time is an awful lot. Poor baby D. That is his "babyhood" IMO that he's missing out on. I'm happy he moved. But I'm kinda sided on this already. I'm all for babies getting to be babies for about 2 years w/out having them back to back in the house. The first few are so important, I don't think they should be shared.

[arbuckle17]

honestly I have really mixed emotions. She ended up over her head and she did what she felt was best for they baby. I saw the title and felt angry but reading it I think she was sincerly caught off guard.

At the same time.... these things take work and more importantly time, a lot of time. I frown heavily on the parts of our society that embrace the quick solution, and part of me can't help but to think she took that route.

[triciansil]

on the fence with this one! Bonding/attaching can take YEARS! Even more difficult when you have 5 bio kids without issues.

[Biblemom]

I feel sorry for this child. I too think the mom got in over her head. I am curious as to why (assuming the pregnancies were planned) she would choose to have more children during the time one was having such difficulty.
I do wish the program/article would have discussed attachment disorders in more detail.