[Andi72]

I am having second thoughts about placement. Is this normal jitters?? We have had one day together, this is our second night. I have other things going on too, so I am not sure if that is what is feeding this. The kids aren't difficult, I am thier first placement also. We were kind of rushed into this placement, so I don't know if that is part of it too. My husband just recently deployed to Afghanistan, so I am doing this alone. What to do??

[lovingheart]

You have a lot on your plate right now with your DH being deployed and this being your first placement. I can't tell you what to do but if you do not feel you are up to this say something about it to your CW now. All our placements have been rushed so you are likely to always feel rushed into making a decision. Believe me when I say that sometimes you have second thoughts, third toughts, and more about the placements

[shavon]

It is totally normal!!!!! I agree with the above poster ALL of my placements have been rushed as in "can we bring them over now".

You have a lot going on, if you feel that it is too much maybe say something to the cw. But I will tell you it usually takes a couple of weeks or even a month to get used to the extra kids and laundry and dishes and groceries well you see where this is going lol..

Hang in there..I will be thinking of you

[parenting-over-40]

Yes, these are normal feelings and it will take time to adjust.

Is there anyone who can come help you for a few hours? For example, a friend or family member who might be able to help you get organized and think things thru? Sometimes just bouncing ideas off someone is a great way to think thru what needs to be done.

For me, once I can get a "system in place" (schedule, what needs to be done, routine for the children, etc) things begin to calm down.
Just a thought!

[hermommy]

Every time I take in a new placement I go through the is this the right home for them, am I the parent they need, ect........ That normally goes away after I get back to a schedule.

I have learned that when I quit judging my parenting that I do just fine. I think that we get a mind set that we have to be the best parents out there. Don't get me wrong we do have standards that we must meet. But I have found that when I relax things go much smoother. I was the type that thought my house must be spotless, my dh had to have cooked dinners everyday, and I always thought when I had children that I would just be the "perfect parent". I would just fill there life full of love, I would make sure they were never dirty, they would eat healty, they would just be the most polite child, respect people, and so on and so on.... Then I got children............. At first it was very stressfull because I worried all the time that I was not holding up to what I thought was the "perfect parent and wife". When I relized that my husband would love me if the bed didnt get maid that day, or dinner was take out, or something was out of place in the house, and the kids were gonna get dirty, they were going to throw tantrums, and so on, I was much happier and MY FD soon to be AD STILL LOVED ME. In her eyes I am the perfect parent.
Now I have a different mind set. I take care of them the best that I can. I love them with all I got, But I take time for myself. I learned the children would be ok if left with a sitter so dh and I could go out (My dd is 2 1/2. I never left her with anyone until after she turned 2 b/c of My thoughts then.), or if I took an evening away to shop. Or just had a lazy day. We all need that time. I think sometimes we get so rapped up in being the "perfect parent" that we lose who we are.
sorry so long....

[Chancey]

Totally normal to have "buyers remorse". We had it extremely bad on our first placement, literally wanted to call and have them taken back -- they were really good kids, but our life as we knew it changed. We hung in there, and now, 30 placements later we know that our schedule will be different and new placements don't give us the same remorse! Good Luck -- it took us about two weeks to start feeling like we were comfortable and could handle the first kiddos!

[hermommy]

Originally Posted by hermommy

Every time I take in a new placement I go through the is this the right home for them, am I the parent they need, ect........ That normally goes away after I get back to a schedule.

I have learned that when I quit judging my parenting that I do just fine. I think that we get a mind set that we have to be the best parents out there. Don't get me wrong we do have standards that we must meet. But I have found that when I relax things go much smoother. I was the type that thought my house must be spotless, my dh had to have cooked dinners everyday, and I always thought when I had children that I would just be the "perfect parent". I would just fill there life full of love, I would make sure they were never dirty, they would eat healty, they would just be the most polite child, respect people, and so on and so on.... Then I got children............. At first it was very stressfull because I worried all the time that I was not holding up to what I thought was the "perfect parent and wife". When I relized that my husband would love me if the bed didnt get maid that day, or dinner was take out, or something was out of place in the house, and the kids were gonna get dirty, they were going to throw tantrums, and so on, I was much happier and MY FD soon to be AD STILL LOVED ME. In her eyes I am the perfect parent.
Now I have a different mind set. I take care of them the best that I can. I love them with all I got, But I take time for myself. I learned the children would be ok if left with a sitter so dh and I could go out (My dd is 2 1/2. I never left her with anyone until after she turned 2 b/c of My thoughts then.), or if I took an evening away to shop. Or just had a lazy day. We all need that time. I think sometimes we get so rapped up in being the "perfect parent" that we lose who we are.
sorry so long....

Ha ha I just relised that I posted this in the wrong place... sorry was meant to be posted under IS THIS NORMAL....
once again sorry