[Ssumner]

We have only one more PRIDE class and our final homestudy is scheduled in 2 weeks. My caseworker says we should be licensed by the end of October. With this said, I have started telling more people and now some family members.

Everyone has been supportive, except my mother in law (who is a huge part of our family). She has made some comments such as "why would you take a child like that"? and "why would you want to do something so crazy"? What has some of your responses been from your family when you told them about your decision to foster? I was hoping for more encouragment from her, especially my mother-in-law.

Why is foster care perceived STILL so negatively??? I thought times have changed???

[stevenstwin]

I'd explore the reasons behind what she says. What does she mean by "children like that"? But it is true that kids that come through the foster care system are "difficult" in many ways, so she might be trying to express some genuine concern, albeit not very tactfully. When you ask why foster care is perceived negatively, it might very well be because some of those negatives are true.

[o2b30again]

I know that for my mother she said tacky stuff because it was more about her feelings. (at least this is how I percieved it) Would she be able to treat these children like her bio grandkids? What if they didn't like her as a grandma? Another reason was she just flat out didn't/doesn't know how to deal with children that have been in situations like ours have been. As we started adding children she said less each time. I think it is because she has bonded nicely with 5 out of the 6 kids. The last one is the 8 year old and she has a hard time bonding with anyone. I keep explaining to my mother that it is better that she isn't instantly bonding but I know that it still hurts her. Maybe these are issues that your mother-in-law is dealing with? Good luck!

[parenting-over-40]

Does your MIL live close enough that she can provide Respite care for you? If so, I would get her involved that way. My Agency requires Respite Providers to take a few classes to be trained on what to expect. It is a great way to prepare them. That would give her an opportunity to ask questions in a class environment to relieve any concerns she may have.

[amelie38]

We start our classes next Thursday. When I told my father what we were going to do (after years of infertility), he said, "I think you are making a big mistake."
I think that some people have an idea in their head about something they have never 'seen'.
I know my father well enough to know, that he will probably end up wrapped around the little one's finger.

[sara_christeacher]

This is one of the reasons that I have only told one of my sisters about my plans to adopt, and she is fully supportive, even when I think I can't do it. However I know that the rest of my family will not agree with my decision right now, so I am not telling them until I have a placement in my home. But I am also not doing foster care, I am adopting out of the foster care system so I know that once I have a placement in my home they aren't going anywhere. I hope that she comes around, getting her involved might help alleviate(sp) some of her fears and help her accept your decision.

Good luck and have a wonderful day,
Sara

[fredalina]

My MIL said "You don't want older children who are set in their ways!" But since she got that out of her system and was told the what-for about it, she's been extremely supportive. Of course, at the moment, we have a newborn lol. But even with the 12-year-old we had briefly, she wasn't rude or anything.

[bamamommy]

We went ahead and told our parents and close friends before we started our classes. I think they would have been upset if we kept it a secret. We did have one family member that wasn't as supportive as the rest, but we RARELY see this person because he lives out of state. Sometimes it's so hard to understand why everyone else doesn't feel the same way we do about fostering.