[skylark_25]

I'm soon to finalize the adoption of my fs . Several months ago the cw informed me that his bmom was pregnant again. She asked if I would be willing to take the sibling as a placement if he or she comes into CPS care. Of course I said yes, as I think siblings should stay together whenever possible. The thing is I don't know exactly when bmom is due and since her case is closed the cw doesn't either. I'm guessing she due in Dec or Jan. So here's my problem... I've been getting several calls to take other placements lately. Normally I would have no problem with 2 kids but I've been expecting to get my son's sibling some time soon, so I've been saying 'no' to all these calls, but now I've been think that I really can't be sure the his siblings is even going to come into care. If so I've been wasting all this time saying 'no'. Technically I'm liscensed for 3 kids but b/c I'm single and I work I'm not sure I could handle 3 at one time.

So I guess I'm looking for some advice from those of you that have BTDT. Should I wait and see if anything happens with the sibling or go ahead and take another placement now? Thanks in advance for your input!!!

Becca

[carlychan]

That is a tough one. I am in a similar situation. We are getting ready to adopt our FC, also. birthmom is also pregnant. We have moved to another state and my husband is military and scheduled to deploy sometime around birthmom due date. So, we are struggling to decide if we want to get liscensed "just in case" the baby comes in care AND that we can ICPC the baby here. There are a lot more "if's" in my case, but we do want the baby if we can.

I think I would go ahead and take another placement. You could do it with 3 if you have to

[o2b30again]

I would personally take another placement because there are just so many what if's involved. So you do three for a while. You'll survive and I am certain you can handle it otherwise you wouldn't even be considering it. Lets just say that bmom does better this time around and it is a couple of years before the child comes into care. You just never know.

I know for me personally I am hoping that our children's birth parents get it together or don't have anymore. Odds are against us though. They are only 23 and 25 yrs old. They have been together since she was 17 and have had 3 children and one still born. She hasn't been pregnant for a whole 2 years which in itself is a surprise. Our other three's bmom is also fairly young at only 28yrs old. Only time will tell. Oh and did I mention that these bmom's are sisters!

Best of luck with your decision. No matter what you decide you are helping out a little one. You'll be blessed!

[athikers]

I'm the opposite here, I guess. I would wait and see. You don't know what needs his biosib will have, so you may NOT be able to handle three little ones and if its important to you to keep sibs together.. then the best option is to wait it out.

[fostapeepz]

I, also, would wait and see. I think 3 little ones would be overwhelming (for me), and it would be hard on a little one to bond to you, and then possibly be moved on so that you could make room for the sibling. I know it's hard to know if biosibling will come in to care, but I would atleast give it some time.

[c.a]

We were in exactly the same boat a few years ago. We were waiting to adopt our son when his bmom became pregnant with his brother "P".

DCF asked us to take a second foster placement and we agreed to take only short term, respite and emergency placements so that we would not end up with three if P was removed.

Three years later, P never arrived at our home. Bmom is raising P with his dad and they are doing okay. We see them all during visits twice per year.

Now we have one adopted son, one long term foster placement and we are still accepting emergency/short term placements. (Social workers managed to sneak in the third anyway.)

Foster care is full of many unexpected surprises.

Best of luck what ever you decide.

[blubutterflies03]

I was in that situation with Alley Baby's Mom. We found out she was pregnant and we knew the Mom was testing positive for drugs while pregnant. When the Mom was almost ready to have the baby, the worker mentioned something to us about having to find a foster family, but she would consider us first. We had to get pre-approved by our home development worker because our home was only licensed for 4, and the baby would make 5. So, we got a call before the baby was born about a sibling group and we said No. They really tried to get us to say yes, but something told me to wait. I did, and I am glad I did. Because now Alley Baby is with her sister Baby K, and if for some reason they stay, they will be here together forever. So, my heart told me to wait. Listen to your heart and follow it!

[skylark_25]

Thanks for all the great advice. I hadn't even considered that his sibling might have more special needs but you're right. I think for the time being I will tell them I'm open for short term placements only and only those with basic needs. That being said alot of the time they don't know how long a placement will be so I may be looking at a couple of months with no new little ones. But I guess that's ok because I'll be able to give my little man some more one on one time, and that may be in short supply if a sibling arrives in a few months!!!!

Becca