[deadcalm]

In your city, who is responsible for the visits between the children and the parents. Is it the caseworker or the foster parent?

[parenting-over-40]

How do you mean, who is responsible?

Are you asking who sets them up? - my CW does

Who transports the children? - Some children get a transporter (if available) while others have the Foster Parents take them and wait.

Who sits in on the visits? - CW or they get someone in their office to sit in on the visit if they can't be there.

[EandDmom]

In the beginning when they were at DCS office I transported them to and from. Now that they are at mom's house caseworker transports to and from. They do everything with it as far as setting it up and definetly supervising. I would never supervise a visit.

[millie58]

My 2nd placement - transport and visits done by DSS. My third placement (who I adopted), transport and visit done by me and other foster mom. Not sure if DSS stopped or if budget cuts makes it tougher, but me and other foster mom would meet bio mom, usually in a park..

[hrisme]

Here foster parents are responsible for transporting, typically caseworkers are responsible for supervising though foster parents may choose to do so if the parents are approved for off site visits.

[dachshunds4you]

Depends.

In CA - we had to transport to foster agency who was responsible for arranging visits (not the county workers). We sometimes were asked to supervise visits, which I truly didn't mind at times.

In TX - CPS transports to all visits. They will never have me monitor visits, nor would they even suggest it. It's only because we're part of this pilot program over here that we're even allowed to meet the parents. Normally meeting the bparents isn't even recommended in my area (Dallas).

Review your contract or info your agency/state provided you. It will usually list who is responsible for taking to visits and monitoring them.

[thelowlanders]

Aren't the notes from visits very helpful in court? I think it would be not as substantial if the Fparents were taking the notes. Being as many may see it with an alterior motive if we took notes that they were high, etc...

Here they coordinate the visits and times, etc. We agree to transport once a week. If there's more, they may come get them for visit. The other children in our home need structure and stability also. In the past we have found ourselves in the car many, many hours a week. For our family...anyway...that is not ok. So they seem to have put the correct placement with us this time.

[mnmomma]

In my county, FP's are responsible for transporting to visits. Occasionally CWs will supervise, but usually visits are held at a 3rd party visitation center that has people who only supervise visits.

[missymissus]

Here a transporter/supervisor is assigned to the case and they arrange the visit times and transport to visits.

When visits went unsupervised for my former fs, the social worker and I split transportation (I dropped him off, he brought him home).

In a couple of situations, I have helped transport when it has taken awhile to find someone to transport/supervise. In those cases, I would transport one way and the social worker would supervise the visit and then transport home.

So far, it has always been assumed that I will have no part in visitation and the social worker has always been very grateful when I have offered to help transport.

[mommytoEli]

in ca the sw facilitated all of our visits, and all but TWICE they also facilitated the transport.

[shaslove]

We transport, but the visits are supervised through a 3rd party agency. I have no desire to do this and the WA SW said no as well.

[Larue]

We're in WA. Our FD has 2 visits a week. One with Mom, and a separate one with Dad. I transport for one of the visits, and the CW does the other one. She usually supervises the visits. Occasionally her assistant, who is an intern studying to get Masters and be a social worker with DSHS, supervises. I find it suprising that other foster parents supervise visits. I don't think WA allows that, though maybe they do in some cases. Do you receive special training? Do you take notes that can be entered into court?

[CaddoRose]

In my county(Texas) visitation is set by CPS. The court orders it. Usually it is for one hour, one day a week at the CPS office. I can transport the kids, or a CPS transporter can come and get them and bring them back. I usually transport because it gives me a chance to talk with the CW and the CASA and get to know the bio parents. I have met them only after the CW has decided that they are not a threat. Supervision is done by CW and/or CASA.

[Hadley2]

Sorry this is a little long, but this notion of supervising visits--which, btw, btdt--along with the mentoring idea, which I've also done but not as a fp, is a pet peeve of mine.

More and more, overloaded, tight-budgeted social service agencies are pressuring fps to supervise visitation. Some have even told fps that they have no choice but to comply. I do not believe that this could ever be true in any jurisdiction. No one can force you to identify yourself to an offending parent or allow an offending parent into your home, whether in person or on the phone. It would be akin to ordering you to providing psychiatric services...fps just simply aren't qualified, really, to supervise visits. I do not believe the legislature of any state would require fps to put themselves and the children at risk in this way.

My biggest concern is for the child. The foster home is supposed to be a safe place. If the offending parent can invade that haven, whether in person or by phone, it is no longer a safe place. That, I think, in my experience, severely hampers a child's ability to recover and heal. In fact, in our case when we did take calls at the urging of social services, it seemed to actually be enabling the parents to torment her further. I really did not want to be a party to that.

Not to mention that it is dangerous. Some parents pose a physical danger, some harassment/stalking risk, some unfounded allegation risk (that is, allegations against you). Some offending parents focus anger on the fps, logical or not. They will call you to talk to you outside of the visits, which for you can turn out to be OK, a nuisance, harassment, or an outright danger. They will also often accuse the fps of abuse or neglect. Their allegations will be taken much more seriously if they actually have personal contact with you.

Documentation is another good issue that a pp brought up. No, fp documentation is not as good as cw. Also, let's say the court will listen to it--do you really want to be the one to nail the parents? Do you really want to testify against them and have that testimony be a part of the record?

In the abstract, these ideas of fps mentoring parents, supervising visits, creating positive, productive relationships sounds great. The reality, though, IMO, is that these are two worlds that should not collide. The issues in these relationships are too complex while a case is open--there are too many possibilities for adverse events. I do believe in parent mentoring for parents at risk or whose children have been removed, but not by the fps of the children. I do believe in naturalizing visitation as much as possible but not at the risk of the safe haven the fps provide the child.

I also vehemently reject any social service agency who tells an fp: oh, these parents aren't really dangerous. I have first-hand experience with the lack of investigation that actually goes on. They don't know, really, and shouldn't be reassuring anyone of any offending parent's safety.

Sorry this rambled a bit, but I guess the point is that I would never commit myself to having to do such a thing and if asked again I would probably say no.

[Chrismp]

In my county "shared parenting" is a big thing. They want the BPs to see FPs appropriately interacting with the kids. It's not required though. If FPs can transport and are willing, it's welcomed, but not required. From the beginning with my current FD I've been able to sit in on the visit or watch through the two way glass. After a few months the CW said I could set up my own visits with BPs. I supervise, but that's seperate from the scheduled DSS visits. It's totally up to me how often this happens, if at all.