[sarahdaisy]

My 7month old FS's biomom is pregnant with twins. I'm really hoping to get them. But I will have to get my capacity increased and get an exception to the "Only 2 kids under the age of 2" rule. My agency said that it shouldn't be a problem. They actually sounded happy about the idea that I wanted them placed with me.

I'm trying NOT to get my hopes up, though, because anything can happen, right? What are my chances that they will place them with me? I asked my FS's CW if she thought his biomom would have it together enough by the birth of her twins to be able to keep them. I got a big "No" to that question.

I know that it's sad that there are 2 more kids being born into the system. But I am so excited about these babies! I'm really looking forward to the spring. Then I'll have a 14month old and twin newborns.... AHHHHH! I'm crazy, I know.

P.S. Any twin stories (especially adoption stories) or twin advice? I'm sure there is and I want to hear all of it!

[EandDmom]

I know it is hard but try to not get your hopes up too much. My fkids mom is due to have number 4 in 2 months and I have been told it is much harder to take a baby than to keep them in the system once they are taken. They have no plans on taking the new one. She has to give them a reason they wont just walk in and take it from her even though they have changed the goal on the current 3 to TPR. I don't understand how they can say she isn't good enough to get these three back but say your fine to keep the newborn.

[ABJones]

When our boys were placed the oldest was 21 mo and his twin baby brothers were 11 mo. It is a LOT of work. But so wonderful. The twins are so fun, because they have such different personalities and develope in such different ways. Good luck I hope you get them placed with you. If you need advice PM me.

[aedems]

I have twin 20-month-olds right now. Tons o' fun and tons o' work, but the fun beats out the work. Get your sleep now, and make sure you ask for help. I'm excited for you, though I agree it is extremely sad that two more babies are coming into care.

[parenting-over-40]

Awe! I pray you get your twins. That would be Awesome.

I would love for my daughter's birth Mom to have another one but so far no luck. She makes beautiful babies that is for sure. Anyway, I just think it would be cool to have a sibling that has a similar background as they grow up.

Keep us posted on those twins. When is she due?

[klriggins]

Trust me, I understand being excited... but I think this whole thread is rubbing me the wrong way...

"I would love for my daughter's birth Mom to have another one but so far no luck. She makes beautiful babies that is for sure."

This one is the one that gets me...maybe I am misunderstanding, but to me it looks like you would consider it a good thing for a mother to have a child and lose it to the system because you would love to have another beautiful child.... I think that would be a tragedy.


"Awe! I pray you get your twins. That would be Awesome. "

These are not HER twins... why on earth would you pray for a child to be removed from its mother and go through the trauma of case workers, visits, reunification, disruption, heartbreak that IS foster care. Maybe more effort should be spent praying that the mother can get her act together and take care of her own children. And that maybe the mother could find more of a support system in this mess rather than a group of people that would celebrate her failure.


I dunno, maybe I am totally misunderstanding it. I understand loving and wanting to keep a child, and trust me, I understand how horrible it feels to watch them go back to a bad situation. But to rejoice in one's failure? Thats not right....

[OakShannon]

Originally Posted by klriggins

Trust me, I understand being excited... but I think this whole thread is rubbing me the wrong way...

"I would love for my daughter's birth Mom to have another one but so far no luck. She makes beautiful babies that is for sure."

This one is the one that gets me...maybe I am misunderstanding, but to me it looks like you would consider it a good thing for a mother to have a child and lose it to the system because you would love to have another beautiful child.... I think that would be a tragedy.


"Awe! I pray you get your twins. That would be Awesome. "

These are not HER twins... why on earth would you pray for a child to be removed from its mother and go through the trauma of case workers, visits, reunification, disruption, heartbreak that IS foster care. Maybe more effort should be spent praying that the mother can get her act together and take care of her own children. And that maybe the mother could find more of a support system in this mess rather than a group of people that would celebrate her failure.


I dunno, maybe I am totally misunderstanding it. I understand loving and wanting to keep a child, and trust me, I understand how horrible it feels to watch them go back to a bad situation. But to rejoice in one's failure? Thats not right....

Thank you for saying that. I was having the same reaction. I have a beautiful son, but I would never wish for his mom - who is too ill to parent - to have and lose another child. I would be very upset for her if that happened, even if it meant that I would have the joy of raising another child who was genetically related to my son.

[momof9wantingmore]

I here what you are saying, my fost/adopt son's mom is pregnant again and they have asked us to take the baby when it is born. People keep asking if we are excited and I say, "I hope mom can get it together and parent this time, if she can't we would be happy to take his sibling", I would never wish for someone to fail, but I will be there for this infant is it goes that way.

[bamamommy]

Originally Posted by parenting-over-40

Awe! I pray you get your twins. That would be Awesome.

I would love for my daughter's birth Mom to have another one but so far no luck. She makes beautiful babies that is for sure. Anyway, I just think it would be cool to have a sibling that has a similar background as they grow up.

Keep us posted on those twins. When is she due?

This just doesn't sound right. You shouldn't wish someone to have a baby that they can't raise so it can go to you. That is VERY sad and wrong.

[akg1229]

I agree. I know babies are cute and cuddly and exciting and all that, but really, they are little people with their own emotions and foster care can be traumatizing. WOuld you really wish that on TWO babies? or ANY baby for that matter? That's what is sad.

[sarahdaisy]

Thank you, ParentingOver40, for your excitement for me. IF the twins come into the system, I pray that I get them too. I'm not happy about 2 more kids being born into the foster system. But if it is to be, I'm excited about getting my foster son's siblings. I'd rather them come here, then go into another foster home with no relatives!

P.S. Does anyone have any twin stories?

[mom2fabtwins]

Not sure what kind of twin story you are looking for....I have twins that are children 9 and 10. I pray every night the parents have no more, but I would welcome a sibling if the need arises.

I have lots of twin stories....one runs a temp and the other gets a tooth, one bumps his head and th other one says ouch! They are fraternal twin. VERY little in common. One is very laid back, the other is very wound tight. If you want more or have questions PM me.

Find out as much about the pregnancy as possible. What is due date? was she on ANY meds? Hypertension?

My boys have some medical issues and a few answers would be great....just no one to ask

[irelady10]

I was in your shoes last fall; my baby's birthmom said she was pregnant with twins, and because of her and birthdad's particular issues, there was a pretty good chance the kids would enter "the system"; however, I was pulling for them to be able to keep their new babies. I even gave them a whole bunch of infant things when we were having privately arranged visits (after they relinquished custody of my son and DYFS was no longer supervising visits).

If the babies had entered the system, the sibling would have been 13 months apart. And, I would have taken them in a heartbeat!

Well, LONG story short, birthmom fabricated the entire pregnancy and I allowed myself to get pulled into their dysfunction; the twin story went away, but birthparents called me numerous times asking me to take their new baby girl, who they said was in DYFS custody.

There never was a baby or even a pregnancy. I really went through an emotional rollercoaster with this entire situation.

So, my advice is: be wary of the reported pregnancy; I found out, after posting on this forum about my experience with this, that its not uncommon for pregnancies to be fabricated; I never even suspected the birthparents were not telling me the truth about the pregnancy. I learned the hard way...

Keep us posted, though, on what happens!

[klriggins]

SarahDaisy~

It's not that I am not excited for you, I understand what its like to be told a new baby is coming. It wasn't any of your post that upset me at all. It was the comment at stated that she was hoping that her child bio mom would get pregnant and have another child removed so she would get to raise it. It's as though this biomother does not deserve any more respect other than a baby making machine that happens to make pretty babies. That kind of thinking is destructive, and I would hope that a mother could have more respect for a biological parent than to suggest such a thing.

My only suggestion with twins is dont get sucked into buying two of everything. One may love to swing, one may not. Except boppys, get two of those.

[ABJones]

Our twin fs look absolutely nothing a like. Different color of hair, different color of eyes, and totally different personalities! One is super relaxed and more into detail. The other is wild and the bully of the sibling group ;-) They are now 15 months old. It is funny because sometimes they sneeze at the same time or burp or laugh. It is so cute! Currently they are not actually getting a long that well, which I assume will last awhile. We have three babies that are almost the same age so their is a lot of sibiling rilvary. They are always taking eachothers cups or pushing one other down. One twin is very close to the older brother while the other is more content to play alone, and doesn't really enjoy playing rough. However, they do not enjoy being apart. They seemed stunned by it!
PS I don't think the OP was trying to be negative about the bparents. I think she was just saying that if the babies are born before bmom gets it together she would love to take them so that they can be with their sibling.
I do think it is wrong to wish ill will. But I don't believe that is what she intended with this thread.