[hermommy]

I got a call today for a 1 month old that is severly handicaped. She was born addicted to drugs and they said that she only sleeps and eats she is being discharged from the hospital tomorrow. The sw wants me to take her because I have had drug addicted babies. (she is now off the drugs). My concern is that I have 2 other babies. I have my dd (adopting soon) that is 2 and I have baby A that is 10 months old. Baby A may be leaving soon. Not sure on her case yet. My heart hurts for this baby. I am torn I want to take her but I am not sure that I can. It would be a lot on me and my family. I have to give an answer this evening. Please any advice would be great. would it be just too much?? would my kids adapt?? I just dont know

[arubagirl]

SOunds like a lot to take on.... most babies just sleep and eat for the first few weeks. its when they get a little older that you can feel stressed.

[chevyjewel]

I've had four under the age of three (my daughter had just turned 3, son 1 1/2 when I took on premie twins) and it certainly can be done if you're organized and believe in schedules.

I don't personally think it was too much to handle but every infant is different. If they were two different infants with different personalities I might have ended up feeling differently, who knows...

Really it all depends on how your kids are and the individual natural temperament of the infant coming in...unfortunately you won't know how/if everything is going to jive unless you try. If you think there's a chance it might jive then I'd encourage you to try! If however you're filled with doubt (as this thread indicates you might be?) then it might be best to not have baby make the move to your home...soul search and go from there

[diane beth]

Sounds like too much to me. Remember with newborns you don't get to sleep as much so you are looking at being tired as well as taking care of three under two.

[shaslove]

I would say no.

I am in a similar position-I was offered newborn M, the full sibling to C. I am having to turn M down since I work full-time and C requires constant attention.

Do only what you think you can handle!

[dachshunds4you]

Do you work full time, or are you SAHM? That will make all the difference.

I did 2 babies, newborn and 4 month old, and my almost 3 yr old and I work from home. It was tough, and both babies were not given as much attn as I would have liked. I was glad when the one went to relatives. I won't do 2 babies again.

But if you SAH it can be done. Just be prepared for being really tired, and you will definitely need a lot of support. Do it only if you can get support from your family. And be honest about it.

[hermommy]

Well I just left the hospital from seeing her and speaking with the nurses to give me more understanding of the situation. The baby is beautiful. Due to bio moms drug use she is severly brain damaged. The nurse said that she would always be as an infant. And they were not sure how long she would make it due to her brain deteriating. I wanted so bad to be able to take her home and love her, but I felt that it would be just to much on my family. Please pray that they find a loving home for her. It just breaks my heart.

[luvmykids4]

I feel for you trying to make that decision, especially after seeing the baby. You do have to remember that it is not just 'you and the baby', but the others in your family as well. It sounds like that is a big concern of yours, so you should 'listen' to it. I have four kids ages
8-16, and then we got a 1 yr old who was very challenging. Then 2 months ago we took another 1 yr old. He is much 'easier', but the combo added a ton of stress to everyone. Our little fd went home last week, and although we miss her as a person, our home feels so much calmer. Some kids are just a better fit for your family. You can't take every child, so be honest with how you will feel long term if you take this baby. We had to turn down a 2 yr old who was in a similar situation because I did not feel I could give everyone what they needed. Each child in fc has special needs, but the more pronounced needs require something extra.

[chevyjewel]

Poor pumpkin, prayers going up