[sgtfirstwife]

We have a visit this weekend with our two former foster children. Since we are moving soon, we thought this would be our last visit. The sw has told us the children are not doing very well and that the birth parents are having are hard time with our older fs. He is acting out and hitting the birth mother and is acting very aggressive. This had also happened in our home, but never toward me. We knew this would probably happen since there was no transition period for them.
So now the sw is saying that she wants the kids to come back to us, but is not sure if or when this could happen. Our dilemma is we are moving. Since we are military, we have no choice. My husband could be a geographical bachlor, but is that fair to our other children. Plus we don't know for sure if the kids are coming home and if we can even handle the older fc.
I am so confused. I don't want my children separated from there father, but I feel like we are giving up on our former foster children by moving.
I need help making this decision...what would you do?

[EandDmom]

I would cry a whole lot and move on with my husband. The if's are too great for me to seperate my own children (and myself) from daddy.
Good luck.

[lakin11]

Originally Posted by EandDmom

I would cry a whole lot and move on with my husband. The if's are too great for me to seperate my own children (and myself) from daddy.
Good luck.

Same here.

We are planning a very far move in the next year. We know the bio mom of our akids is likely to screw up again....and where would that leave their 1/2 brothers (one of which we had for the first year of his life)?? We have them here to visit quite often, so they are a part of this family.

I have finally come to terms with the fact that we can not put our life on hold for them, even as much as we love them. She wouldn't think twice about leaving the area if she wanted, ripping them away from all of us. I cannot control what she does.

I would cry many many many tears, but move regardless. If there was a way to take them with us, we'd do it of course. But knowing how that all works, would not expect to.

Hugs!

[carlychan]

Well, my husband was a geo bachalor for 1 year while we waited for our FS and FD to be free. The difference is they were already in our home. I don't think I would stay longterm, but tell the SW your delimma. Our FD's case was sped up and TPR trial set at 2 months instead of 4 so we could move with her. If they think they are going to pull the kids from their mom's home maybe they can do it now. If they came tomorrow would you stay?

It really is a tough call. It was a very stressful year being apart from my husband, but we are finally together...all 6 of us. You can get through it. Also, if he is going to deploy sometime soon you will be alone anyway. Good luck with your decision. It is not an easy one.

[sgtfirstwife]

Thanks to all those who replied. My husband is not deploying (thank God) anytime soon, so that is not in our picture.
I think I know deep in my heart that we have to move on. Our family simply can't live on the what if's. We will leave part of our hearts here with them, but I know we have to go.
If they came back tomorrow, I am not sure what we would do. We expected TPR in July and instead we got ru. If they came back, then we would be on that roller coaster ride once more, is that fair to my other children. The answer is no. So I will cry for my little boys and can only hope that God will take care of them. Too bad the system failed them....so sad.