[deadcalm]

When my Munchkin left in March, I decided fostering is not for me. I was really heartbroken. Friday, the agency call me and asked me to take a 20 month old baby until Monday (4 days). Needless to say, they never came back for her. I spoke to caseworker and said he will call homefindings to have her placed with another foster family. I am already in love with this little one, so I can't keep her. I really don't want to bear the heart ache of losing another child. It's a week later and still no home. So, I went the extra yard and inquired about her case. So far, she has only been in the system 4 months---mentally ill mother---no family members----father is not involved. The courts don't want to give the baby back to the mother. But, the mother is allowed visitation Of course the case worker can not say for sure that this baby is going up for adoption, but I feel that the case is very new and anything can happen in the 11th hour. I don't know if I sould keep her and risk another heart break or just let her go. I am really confused.

[sergekel]

Keep her!!

[CaddoRose]

Keep her.

Our baby(18 months old at the time) had a Dad who relinquished and no family wanted to take her unless they could be told for sure that she would never leave.(ha. no one knows that until they sign TPR). Mom has an IQ of 75. We got her in Jan and by March, Mom had signed her over to us. Mom's attorney, baby's attorney, CPS, the judge, etc., all wanted her to sign over and she did.

[shavon]

KEEP HER You never know, till you know, you know lol... give it a shot, this may be your dream come tru and even if it ends up being a nightmare it may be the babies dream come tru just to have a loving foster mom that will change the world for her

[EandDmom]

Definetly keep her. To me it is worth the risk. Just tell yourself everyday she is not my child .. she will be leaving but i'm going to love the stuffing out of her while she is here. But sounds to me like a big shot that she wont be leaving. Good luck

[Larue]

I see from your timeline, you had your precious Munchkin for almost 2 years. Wow, our Sweetie Pie has only been with us for 2 months, and we found out recently she will be going to a relative placement. She will take a piece of my heart with her when she leaves, so I can only imagine the grief you had to go through. And here you are, opening your heart again to another little one. All I can say, is that the ability of the human heart to love against all obstables is truly a wonderous thing.

I wish you all the best with your decision. Though it sounds like your heart has already made it.

[Yash]

Keep her! I know it's hard to lose a child, but you'll never become a forever mommy unless you risk your heart again. I did and I'm so glad I did.

[irelady10]

I agree- definitely keep her!

You never know what can happen, and in the meantime, you can love her like crazy and make a HUGE impact on her life; and maybe, she will make a huge impact on your life...God brought her to you, so you just never know what His plan is!

Good luck, and let us know what you decide.

[Withay]

Another way to look at things...

So far, she has only been in the system 4 months

How many homes has this little one been in during the last 4 months? Remember, every move - including the one from the birth home to the shelter/first foster home adds more trauma to these little ones. Even if she was in only one other home besides yours, this would be her 3rd move in just over 4 months. Can you imagine what this will do to her little mind?

The way I get through having a child leave, and I have had over 100 leave in the last 7 years, is to remember that I am an adult and I can handle it. These are little children and while it may seem as though they are handling the moves ok, it is really adding unnecessary trauma to their lives.

I personally wouldn't move a child because

I really don't want to bear the heart ache of losing another child

.

Just my opinion and something to think about.

[greenrobin]

Part of being a foster parent is willingly (maybe willfully) accepting that pain is part of the deal. We have all loved and lost. And we're all really better for it.

I have a hard time saying no to any child who needs a place. I've never done it. And losing them, even to happy endings, is probably the hardest thing I've ever endured. But if I hadn't been willing just one more time, I would have missed Bubba and Flowergirl who will be ours forever next month.

Here's the question--can you provide for this little person for now? Is the risk to your heart worth it?

Every family like our families is born of great sorrow, yours or someone else's. We just take our share whenever it's our turn. But what we're given when we take our turn is so incredibly priceless--the love of a child.

You are the only one who knows if you can take another loss. And either decision is yours, not ours. Know that either way you choose, there is potential for pain and regret as well as peace and love. It's what you do with the time you're given that really counts.

I wish you comfort and peace in this time of confusion.

[momsphotoop]

Hold on to her tightly and go for the ride!
she sounds like my little one, she came to us at 20 months, mom is mentally ill, no family, no father. Mom makes all the visits and went to the parenting classes but is not working any other part of her plan. I agree with the previous poster about not giving her up just because you don't want to get hurt. We are foster parents for a reason and you already took her in, another move would mean more hurt for her. Good Luck!

[AmahMama]

I so feel for you! I am foster only - that said - each and every little one that has come into our home has taken a piece of my heart. Mine are to young to remember me - but somewhere in thier lives the fact that they were in a stable, loving, caring, warm, loving home for even a little while keeps me doing this. The good Lord made it possible for my heart to heal and place it out there again for another baby to take a piece of. And I do it voluntarily. I know they aren't staying. But I know they need somewhere to stay during this really, really hard time of their lives. Without us - they would have to go back to orphanages (and some are trying hard to do this ~ it's easier) for those whose parents can't parent right now...

[athikers]

You DO have the strength to keep her and for her sake, you need to do so! You can do this.

I'm not really a country music fan... but I always think of "I could've missed the pain, but I would've had to miss the dance"

Enjoy her, for however long she's blessed to be with you.

[.Ruby.]

I say keep her. Even if she is with you a short amount of time you can make a big difference in her life providing a loving home.

[MomShan]

I say she's with you for a reason. Keep her and love her and give her all she needs. We all know anything can happen as far as fostering, adopting, leaving...etc., but the biggest failure would be in not trying and not giving. You are in my thoughts.