[dac_cincy]

First- I am hoping that those of you who know the system can help my friend.

She lives in OH. her husband has 2 children from a prior relationship (17 and 6). 3 years ago, the 6 year old was dropped off with him by the mother. 2 years ago, the oldest came to live with the father and my friend.

Mother never put father on the BC- so there is no proof he has a relationship to children.
Mother has never come to see the children since they were dropped, although she calls the teenager.

My friend and her husband (father) can not enroll the children in school as they have no court document that they have custody. Mother refuses to come to court, has actually moved out of state, etc.

Father is fighting in court to be declared the father, paying for DNA testing, paying legal fees, etc. Mother refuses to discolse her address so that court documents can be served to her. The father has now been told he has 60 days to locate the mother and have her sign documents or appear in court otherwise he must start from the beginning again with court filing and DNA testing.

Father believes that mother is waiting the 60 days and will then appear and state that he kidnapped the children.

DFS refuses to declare the children abandon by the mother or to help the father through the process through kinship care/gaurdianship.


Question: what can father and friend do? Is there a way to force DFS hand and get them involved and make them responsible for getting mother to appear or to declare her rights terminated?

This is a father who wants to parent his children, is parenting his children and a mother whom the judge has declared "a dead beat mother". I don't understand why the courts are forcing him and the children to go through all these hoops.


Thanks in advance for all your help.

[Chancey]

He needs to find an attorney in that area that will help him.

[dac_cincy]

I should have noted - they do have a lawyer- but they can not continue to afford the lees and filing costs.

There has to be some way for them to get help when the mother has clearly walked away from her kids and left them.

The judge and courts mentioned that if it wasa mother fighting with a dead beat father- all sorts of help would be offered, but since it is a father fighting with a dead beat mother- nothing is done to help the father.

This is just frustrating

[millie58]

If the mother won't give documentation for the kids to be enrolled in school, she can be charged with neglect. by law, the kids have to be in school. good luck to your friend!!

[mnmomma]

When DCS terminates rights for parents that they can't contact or find for whatever reason, they're sometimes able to publish a notice instead of serving the individual in person. Perhaps they could find out if that's an option in this case?

[jeni-b]

My question is if they were dropped of 2 and 3 years ago, has the oldest not been in school all this time?

I used to work for a lab that does paternity testing. As olng as he didn't do blind testing, the results of the tests he is/has done will hold up in a court of law and should be admissable. A very clear chain of custody is followed, from photos of the sample providers, to each person who handles the case signing off each step. There should not be additional expense if he has to refile his petition in that regard.
Have him contact the school districts educational law department and see what they can do to aide him.

[dac_cincy]

I think the 17 year old choose to drop out- it is an option in our state. I also know that the younger one was in a school district that untl this year did not require proof of custody until this year (never knew such things existed). In any case, now they are faced with not being able to enroll the younger child and school starts in 2 weeks. I will let them know about the option to have the mother noted for neglect becuase she has not given teh documentation to enroll the kids in school.

it is a sad situation and I am just trying to find resources for the family - they are on the edge- the working poor and they qualify for no assistance or help- but just barely. with 6 kids to support- there is little money for the lawyer.

I just wish there was something I do really for them, becuase they are both great people and great parents.

Love and hugs

[mommy2fiveplus]

This is kind of rash, but perhaps he could drop by the local CPS office and drop off the kids. See what they do, they might find it easier to work with the dad than find a foster home for a 17 and 6 year old. OF course the circumstances would have to be well explained to the kids (particularly the 6 year old) ahead of time so they are not traumatized. He could just let the worker know that he wants to raise HIS kids but since NO ONE wants to treat them as HIS kids and he cannot afford to lose his other 4 children to a neglect charge for failing to put these ones in school, he is left with few options.