[emtmom1917]

i got a call today from my mom stating that she had a friend that was dieing of cancer and had a 14month old little boy she was trying to find a home for before she dies. my hubby and i have been talking about adopting since when we met i could not have any more children. i do have 2 of my own and he doesnt have any of his. we both would love to have another child. well here is my question. since there is no other family in this little boys life but his mother and she just wants to find a family how can i go about adopting him with out a lot of paper work or in and out of court. i live in va and she lives in fla. i would understand if the laws are diff but just need help on what to do. if you can help or have any info peaselet me know. thank you

[Withay]

You need to contact an adoption atty to find out what the laws are in your state.

Good luck and welcome to the forums.

[carlychan]

Originally Posted by emtmom1917

how can i go about adopting him with out a lot of paper work or in and out of court.

There SHOULD be a lot of paperwork and "work" on your part. It shouldn't be easy to adopt a child. Sorry, this just struck me as odd.

[Sdirector]

Of course, you want to consult an attorney... as the laws may be different. So, this isn't legal advice...

If this woman is willing to assign a guardianship to you, you could take guardianship while you are alive. Then, perhpas, you could, after she dies, petition the court for adoption. Or, she could voluntarily terminate her parental rights, and you could adopt her. She may not want to do this (probably wouldn't), as it sounds like she might just be trying to find a home for her child, and still wants to parent in the meantime.

She could also will guardianship to you and your husband as well. This may be what she is thinking of, in finding a home for her child. Either way, some conversations need to be had.

And yes, it will require paperwork, and court appearances. Parental rights are some of the most fundemental rights that exist, and they are not easy to transfer.

[mamachell]

One thing you might want to do first is have a phone call with the birthmom to really make sure she's serious. Then visit with the child alone and then maybe with your family. I agree it will be easier the more you arrange beforehand, the better. Not to be negative but I would be careful about any potential "scam" for money ie. you pay her living expenses for the next few months, etc.

[mom2fabtwins]

I'm going out on a limb here and sound a little crass, but wouldn't it be easiest to have the mom make a will and appoint you as the legal guardian? If she wants to transfer guardianship prior - you could do that also.

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by carlychan

There SHOULD be a lot of paperwork and "work" on your part. It shouldn't be easy to adopt a child. Sorry, this just struck me as odd.

No, I don't think so at all. Private adoptions should be relatively quick and simple, unlike our adoptions from foster care. Why put all that money and energy into court appearances, etc when it could all be going into the well-being of the child, instead? I don't understand why you think it should be "work" and paperwork - not much of that goes into having a bio child, after all!

[NJNative]

still require plenty of paperwork. You will need a homestudy, and will have a LONG list of paperwork to complete. Laws differ in every state, but we had to have a homestudy that included a two-day adoption workshop, visits to our home that lasted a whole afternoon, letters of good conduct from the police, 3 years of 1040s, 6 letters of recommendations, proof of medicxal and life insurance, etc. etc. etc. \

Believe it or not, I accomplished all that in 23 days. And we brought our son home in 42 days from the time we heard about him. But there will be PLENTY of paperwork.

Oh, and we had to hire an attorney for us in the state he was in, and one for his birthfamily, too.

Lots of work involved.

[meshsgrl]

I just looked into doing a private adoption.
You need
clearances, (some like FBI fingerprinting can take up to 3 weeks).

homestudy (in my state they cost approx. 2500.)

you need the father to sign off also.

you have to have a judge officiate the adoption.

lawyer (average cost is 2500 to 5000) this is to do the paperwork so that no other relative could fight for guardianship later

This was all we had to do... bmom and I are in the same county.
I am sure as the above poster mentioned, you will need an attorney from her state and yours.

American academy of adoption attorneys is a good place to start!

[bjhv5]

You may not need all the paperwork.
I have a friend that is adopting a little boy whos adopted parents dont want him(or cant handle him is what they say)so they are terminating thier rights and my friend if filing adoption petition and it iwll be done.
I dont know if it can work that way in every state but here thats it,

[fostapeepz]

You can't 'just' file a petition. There still have to be clearances, fingerprints, paperwork, homestudies. There IS paperwork and there ARE court appearances. I have a hard time believing that it's different in any state.