[_Liberty_]

We've had 3 month old Little Miss in our home for 5 weeks and visited her since birth while she detoxed.
We're told by the supervisor that once her extended
family (from "dad's" side) gets their foster parent license, she will be
moved from us and placed with them. No idea when
they will get this although I know they're working on it.


Meanwhile, the foster care worker says that's the first she's heard of that plan; that because paternity is in question, the dss attorney wants a paternity test done. However, both "parents" have dropped out of contact so there's no way to do a paternity test. The supervisor says the man married to mom is the legal father so no paternity test is needed.
Are you confused yet, cause we are!

CW says that they will have a meeting "sometime" and get the facts straight about what the future plan is.

We went into fostercare hoping to adopt so all this
uncertainty is really hard. It's also going to be very hard on Little Miss who we brought home from the hospital and I believe is bonding with me.
I just wish they would get the facts straight so we know what's going on. Thanks for letting me vent and I know there were some of you who said "skip this placement," due to the trouble I was having with dss before placement so I guess I deserve an "I told you so" .

[stevenstwin]

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through! I'm sure laws vary from place to place - but where I live it is true that the man married to mom is the legal father, and so no paternity test would be necessary. The other thing is that "kinship" placements often go to people who are connected with the family in some meaningful way, even if they are not related by blood. That leads me to think that the supervisor has the right of it - assuming that these people can actually pass a homestudy.

[kxl164]

The man married to biomom is the legal father, or presumed father, because of the marriage. In that case and without him in the picture at this point, if his family wanted to take the placement of the baby since he is the legal father she would/could be placed there. Legally speaking they are her family and if they are willing and appropriate then she would go to them.

If there is a paternity test and he is not the biological father, he is still the legal father. Only if he either asks to be removed from the case, or the judge removes him will he no longer be a part of the case.

Even if he is removed from the case though, that doesn't mean she will not go to his family. They could still be considered kin, but that depends on the situation and everyone's feelings and the judge's ruling. If the birthparents remain together and he plans to raise this child as his own, regardless of paternity, then they would still be family.

At least that is how it was explained to us when we were dealing with paternity testing and legal, presumed, and biological parents.

You are giving this little girl exactly what she needs right now, a loving home, so I would just focus on the now (if at all possible). I know that as parents we are always looking forward, especially when permancy is in question, but the best we can do it be the family the kids need now.

Good Luck!

[craftingmama]

Originally Posted by stevenstwin

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through! I'm sure laws vary from place to place - but where I live it is true that the man married to mom is the legal father, and so no paternity test would be necessary. The other thing is that "kinship" placements often go to people who are connected with the family in some meaningful way, even if they are not related by blood. That leads me to think that the supervisor has the right of it - assuming that these people can actually pass a homestudy.

ok, so here's a question related to that. if the bio mom and her husband fail the case plan and have TPR, will they still search for the bio dad?

[_Liberty_]

That's pretty much what I expected-that being the "legal" father was what mattered- why then
is the attorney requiring a paternity test?

[CaddoRose]

Since it is so early in the case, it sounds like they are still trying to figure a lot of this out in regards to family and who is eligible to possibly take the baby. The man named as the father In our DD's case did a DNA test and they found that he probably isn't the father , but a close relative like son or brother. Very confusing. But, the state was satisfied that he was the father and accepted his voluntary relinquishment. For us, it means there is probably a relative of his who is the actual father, but we will never know.

I know that were we live it is not necessary for the relatives to become foster parents in order to have a child in care placed with them. They usually only need to pass a criminal background check and a home study. We set of kids we had for 6 months before it all got done and another, left in 3 weeks, but the relative did not have a HS.

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by craftingmama

ok, so here's a question related to that. if the bio mom and her husband fail the case plan and have TPR, will they still search for the bio dad?

that's an interesting question, all right. But I'm thinking that as long as the "legal" dad claims the child as his own, that should end it. However, every county is going to have their own policy, I suppose.

[kxl164]

They are probably asking for paternity testing in order to cover all bases (they do that here), so that a year can't go by and all the sudden Dad/Mom asks for test, finds out he is not Dad after all, and then the state is required to try and find biodad in order to move forward.

If your county is going to push the family into taking custody then it would no longer be the county's problem, or the supervisor just wants to warn you that legally the family has the right to be placed with the child, especially if they can't find the bioparents in order to do any testing.

[thelowlanders]

I'd rather they try and find everyone now. Figure out who's actually related. Rather than later. When things are finalizing, and then you get a "By the way....this is her Great Aunt....." Thinking of you...

[_Liberty_]

It's my understanding that dad said he was "90% sure"
he is not the dad and either he or mom named another person as the possible bio.
So, I guess that they will probably move her to the family and clear up the "bio" issue so there will be
no loose ends when the extended family adopts.
I was thinking that the "bio" issue might rule out
the extended family if it turned out they are not
related, but sounds like, after reading your posts,
that's probably not the case.
This whole foster care/adopt thing is not for
the weak hearted, is it?

[mrstkg1]

Dear Liberty,

I don't think anyone is going to say "I told you so". Foster care is just very difficult and there are so many unanswered questions. Even in the best of situations sometimes we as foster parents get very limited information and don't really know from one moment to the next what is going to happen. The workers don't even know what is going to happen. Good luck and hope things work out well...

[Rebecca G.]

We are in Texas and had similar situation. Mom was married to dad A, had affair during seperation with Dad A and was pg with dad B. Dad B wanted nothing to do with her or child. Dad A was presumed legal dad and was also notified, he knew he was not bio, but had some reservations regarding situatoin. Ultimatley, adoption agency asked Dad A for paternity test. He stated he would if he did not have to pay fee's. Which we were not willing to pay for ironically he just disappeared.....So our adoption moved forward after many more legal manuvers to protect all envolved.

With adoption you never know what might be the next road you take....