[smith316]

Hi, we have a fs that we got from the hospital when he was 4 days old, his bio mom fled here (Alabama) from West Virginia, she had drugs in her system when fs was born, has 4 others that were tprd. We were told this baby would remain with us, we have had 2 postponed court dates, and dad had a positive drug screen 2 days before last court date. SW told me today that there were 2 family members that had come foward and were interested in the baby, they were starting ICPC and doing a homestudy, if approved baby could go to West Virginia. What is an ICPC and why do they do these? Will the baby go to relatives if they pass the homestudy? The baby is attached to us and we are attatched to him, we are very worried (have not been able to have kids of our own).
Thanks
smith316

[mommytoEli]

an icpc is what allows a child to move from one state to another. it can take a few days or several months to get it going. then the family has to be approved. sometimes that means they have to become licensed foster parents first....which can take a while. it is possible the baby will go to relatives if they are approved. i'm sorry. if you google something like "icpc and adoption" you can read about the process.

i know you are heartsick. even though it it is very possible the child will be placed with relatives, don't give up yet. you never know what will happen!

one more thing....how long has this child been with you?

[smith316]

We picked him up at hospital at 4 days old, the end of this month (July) he will be 7 months old. We have had him for just about 7 months.

smith316

[mommytoEli]

i'm so sorry..... that is a long time to have a baby. hang in there! make sure you keep in contact with your worker so you know how things are progressing.

[shaslove]

If the relatives are just starting the process, it is likely it will take awhile. See my sig to see how long ours took!

sorry! I know its hard!

[mountaineermom]

I am in West Virginia and everyone that I have talked to in a similar situation (family trying to get kids from care) has had to go through the foster classes. A couple I knew from my classes was trying to get their grandkids and it took almost 6 months. We finished the classes very fast compared with most... we finished in 4 months.
good luck

[SarahBethsMommy]

I'm in Alabama. They do not require direct family members to go through the classes, but if the family is in WV and they do require it they'll have to go through the classes before the baby could be moved. Also they'll have to do the homestudy and fingerprinting and all.

My FS's bio family are working to get him back. They also live in Alabama but in a different county, so even those rules are different.

So yes, if they do all they are supposed to do then your foster child could be moved back to them. But don't give up all hope!

[hkolln]

We had to go thru the entire ICPC process and get our foster care license before our niece was placed with us. The ICPC process took 8 months and the licensing only took us 3 months. It can be shorter if the SW on the case does her job. If he/she isn't then it could take longer.

If the family member passes the home study and the ICPC is approved then most likely the child will be moved. You didn't say if the child is up for RU or TPR? Most of the time if it's a plan of RU they won't move the child. If they are going towards TPR then most likely they will move the child. In our case they moved our daughter prior to TPR (it was pretty much a given).

You didn't say how long the relatives have been working with the SW. Sometimes the SW's won't let the FP's know about relatives until further into the case. In our case they didn't tell the FP's and of course after 7 mos of having our niece in their home they were devastated when they found out about us (even though we were involved from 6 weeks into the case).

[myForeverkids3]

So sorry to hear you might be losing your little boy. devastating. I would try everything you can to talk to the relatives. They may feel differently if they feel like they know the person raising this child and know that you want to adopt him and that he is bonded with you. They may not be thinking about the length of time this process will take and how damaging it could be to this baby to loose his parents after that much time. They may not care, but it is worth a try to see if your CW will ask them to talk to you and your husband. Sometimes these CW try to keep us all separated but it is not always the best way to find the best situation for the child. Offer the family members an open adoption, send them pictures of you and the baby. Help them understand that he is happy and healthy and should stay where he is. Like I said, they may still try to take him, but at least you tried. Ultimately it is up to the judge and the CW. You could also go and plead with the judge at the next court date. I just don't think it is right to move a baby who is completely happy where they are. THIS IS ABOUT THOSE RELATIVES WANTING THE CHILD, NOT ABOUT WHAT IS RIGHT FOR THE BABY! If they had been trying to get the baby since day one it would be different. I am assuming that is not the case or they would be done with classes by now and done with the ICPC process! To start ICPC 7 months in is just cruel! If they wanted the baby they should have started the process when he was 4 days old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, just my opinion.

[smith316]

The parents did want him back, but I don,t think they are doing what they are supposed to, CW doesn't tell us anything even if we ask and what she does tell us she doesn't remember telling us at next visit, parents do want him to go to family,but family haven't been involved so far until now, the plan was RU, but parents aren't even coming to visits anymore or having contact with CW, we haven't had a court date yet they have been postponed, if we ask to speak to the judge will they let us?
Thanks for everybodies replies.
Thanks mommytoeli.
smith316

[hkolln]

Originally Posted by myForeverkids3

If they wanted the baby they should have started the process when he was 4 days old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, just my opinion.

In a perfect world that could happen however if TPR is not the case plan then the SW will most likely not allow anyone to initiate an ICPC to move the child away from his bioparents. Then there can be no visits. Maybe that is the case? And if these are relatives that are qualified (pass the home study process) then they should be allowed at least a chance for some type of relationship with this child (be it long distance or the child living with them).

Maybe reach out to these relatives. They may not know you want to adopt the baby (if that is the caseplan) and probably have no idea your thoughts or feelings, just as you probably don't know them either personally.

[myForeverkids3]

Originally Posted by hkolln

if TPR is not the case plan then the SW will most likely not allow anyone to initiate an ICPC to move the child away from his bioparents. Then there can be no visits. Maybe that is the case? And if these are relatives that are qualified (pass the home study process) then they should be allowed at least a chance for some type of relationship with this child (be it long distance or the child living with them)

This is true. They could have been asking to foster this child from the begining but were told no because the goal was RU. I hate that these CW's don't allow communication between FPs and biofamilies. I also suggested that the OP try to talk with the interested family to see if they could work something out. There is a such thing as open adoption.

[Heather5458]

Just a few thoughts. First my foster son now had his grandma complete an icpc. He still may not be going anywhere as she is the mothers mother and the father is working his plan and still has rights. Sadly, the father will never get it together enough to ever get custody but the father has rights.

Second my daughter was adopted through a ICPC. It took 6 months to complete and that was with me hounding the social worker regularly and my daughter was almost a year old before I was able to bring her home. I was never given any information about the foster parents and there were no guarentees she would even stay in the same foster home. Also having a child taken by CPS is embarassing and my relative did not want us to know. So, she was born in May and I was not aware of her needs until November (she was also born at 26 weeks so we were suprised when we heard of her birth). I can see both sides of this issue and hope that all is done in the best interest of the child.

[smith316]

Thanks to everyone for their replys, I think I will ask some questions about who the interested relatives are in West Virginia and if I can have contact with them to let them know that the baby is already attatched and bonded to us, then I think I will find a way to talk to the GAL and see if he knows what the plans are and let him know of the babies attatchment to us and our family, then I will certainly be at court (if the CW lets me know when court is) and try to talk to the judge. I would be willing to share photos with relatives and let them know of latest accomplishments but I am afraid that it will upset the baby alot if we aren't there to take care of him when we are all he knows. At our first ISP the plan was RU with parents, relative placement with custody given back to parents, but mom has not been to a visit in 9 weeks and she is having no contact with CW now and dad has not seen the baby since he was born 7 months ago.
Thanks
smith316