[fredalina]

Sigh. It's been 3 weeks since the permanency plan was created, and we have court tomorrow. The permanency plan is concurrency between RU and exit to relative, because this is typical. RU is extremely unlikely as BP's have been TPR'd for 3 previous children, expressed that they want nothing to do with D since she's in custody, and have essentially disappeared off the face of the earth. They haven't shown at either previous court date, and it's likely they will just "hide out" through the next 4-6 months through TPR.

So the likely result will be exit to relative. The relatives that birthmom suggested at the hospital cannot pass a background check. The BF didn't suggest any relatives at the time. The 3 older siblings have been adopted by a relative (i don't know if this relative was one of the half dozen or so names the birthmom profided at the hospital or not), so it's most likely that this will be the ultimate placement, if they are willing to take in a 4th.

Apparently it takes a wee bit of effort to find out who this relative is because the previous 3 were adopted and thus their cases were "closed". As of today, the caseworker has not discussed the case with the adoption department to look in the archives and find out who this relative is.

D is now almost 6 weeks old. The longer she stays with us, the harder the transition to relatives will be on her. (As far as we're concerned, it will tear us apart no matter when it happens). i hate the idea of poor D going through this difficult transition just because no one bothered to look in a file cabinet and make a phone call! Ugh!

i do know they're busy, but it seems like they're busy with the wrong things sometimes. (Like, in our CW's case, constantly updating her Facebook status using her iPhone, but i digress...)

[Yash]

Sadly for some CW's the kids never cross their mind. I picked up my foster daughter from the NICU even though her half brothers lived with one of their aunts who was a licensed foster parent. Willow lived with us for almost 2 months before the CW finally got around to contacting this aunt. UGH!!! Why couldn't he have done that from day one? The boys' cases weren't finalized so he knew about the aunt from the beginning.

I realize to some people being a CW is just a job. Nothing more, nothing less. Yet we know it is so much more. I naively thought all CWs was like my son's. A woman who wanted what was best for him, period. With his sisters, I quickly discovered she sadly is a minority. I called her years later, she remembered me, and I thanked her for really caring and for always putting my son's needs first.

[lovemy6]

Originally Posted by Yash

Sadly for some CW's the kids never cross their mind. I picked up my foster daughter from the NICU even though her half brothers lived with one of their aunts who was a licensed foster parent. Willow lived with us for almost 2 months before the CW finally got around to contacting this aunt. UGH!!! Why couldn't he have done that from day one? The boys' cases weren't finalized so he knew about the aunt from the beginning.

I realize to some people being a CW is just a job. Nothing more, nothing less. Yet we know it is so much more. I naively thought all CWs was like my son's. A woman who wanted what was best for him, period. With his sisters, I quickly discovered she sadly is a minority. I called her years later, she remembered me, and I thanked her for really caring and for always putting my son's needs first.

I've had the same experience! One good worker in over 10 yrs of fostering!

[thelowlanders]

I know.... It definitely feels this way ALOT of the time. I wish we could save all our energy for the kids. I had no idea that the social workers would cause so much drainage of energy sometimes. They didn't warn us in class about them