[craftingmama]

What to do? we have a 2 year old foster child and nightmares have become a problem. as visits have started and continue, we have more nightmares and behavior issues. he's not very verbal and cant' tell me much. i'm listening right now to him cry and i can't do anything. we've been in and comforted him several times, but it continues. eventually he'll settle down adn stop for the night but it makes me sad. he's sound asleep and just crying.

[ranoutofnames]

I'm sure there will eventually be lots of replies about just being there, holding him, etc.

I had a non-verbal 3yr old (seriously all he could say was Ma, Da, Eh) go through nightmares after visits (he refused to go in to the visit and would hide under desks so the worker wouldn't force him, even when his parents tried to tempt him out with candy).

We got his doctor's permission and gave him a low dose of tylenol each night after a visit. The doctor agreed the stress of the visit could very well be causing headaches and other body aches. In addition to the tylenol we would ensure that nights after a visit he had a warm bath with milk bath baby soap (I prefer the Baby Magic brand in the purple bottle... it's so popular in my area it flyes off the shelf so I always buy 3-4 bottles at a time). After jammies are on and right before the final tuck in with hugs and kisses we'd massage his legs, arms, and back with matching scent lotion.

The combination of the scents, warm bath, massage, and tylenol helped give him the stress relief he needed to drift off to sleep in loving comfort.

.... some may want to flame me for utilizing tylenol to help him sleep but the combination honestly worked and in the end all I wanted was the best for him.

[filswife]

That is heartbreaking.... my 8 year old has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. My thoughts for you would be make sure you have a solid nighttime routine. I also have tried to maker her bedroom very serene for her. we play the "ocean" cd everynight... thats what she falls asleep too. She also does a couple of simple yoga stretches to get relaxed. She has a small bowl of Cheerios... and reads a story. for about a week we did have to kick start her sleepiness with benadryl before bed, which definitely helped. Routine is key.

[thelowlanders]

Maybe keep building that trust with them. That you're immediately there for them when they have a ntmr.

Also try and put them to bed with the last thing on their mind is something happy. Read an uplifting story, etc. Don't know if this would help in their cases, but I know I tend to dream about whatever I last thought about. So maybe read and read to them until they fall asleep in the middle of a good story

[CaddoRose]

Our first placement had nightmares every night. She was 2.5 yrs and would wake several times a night calling for Momma(me). All I had to do was comfort her with words and she would go back to sleep, but this went on for 6 months until the kids were moved to relatives. The 18 month old didn't do this, but he was the one who had all the broken bones.

The afternoon and day after the visit was murder on us. Screaming,crying for hours on end and there was no way to stop it. She just had to do it and get it over with. After that, she was fine. The best I could do was to make sure she had a lovable stuffed toy to cuddle with. Just like yours, she would be crying in her sleep. I always bathed them in lavender soap and had a sound machine going with gentle rain falling noise.

IMO, the visits are so upsetting for the kids, I wish they didn't have them every week. It takes days to get over them and then they go back and it starts all over. I feel so bad for the kids. I know why they have them, I just don't think the visits are in the best interest of the child. They are too young to understand and once a week their little hearts get ripped open. Makes me crazy.

[EandDmom]

Our 3 year old fs has nightmares about 3 nights a week and now the 2 year old is starting to have them once or twice a week. The 3 year old never can say what it was about but he finally told me after the last one that he had a nightmare that I left him. It broke my heart so much to not be able to tell him I would never leave him.
All we can manage to do with him his snuggle him and comfort him until he goes back to sleep. Shhh we aren't supposed to but if its a really bad one we just let him sleep in our room.

[sadoyle1216]

Our 2 yr old FD came to us at just under 23 months. She was not very verbal, and Spanish was her primary language (we are not bilingual....CW assured us she spoke English). She had night terrors for the first 3 weeks, waking up twice a night after visits. She had her special stuffed animal and blanket, but when she'd be screaming in the middle of the night, I'd wrap the blanket tight around her and take her to the rocking chair. We'd sit there and rock, with her almost swaddled. She'd eventually calm down and we could get her back in bed...sometimes. Often, after rocking, we'd hang out on the couch and she'd fall asleep on me for the rest of the night. She's sleeping better now, but her language has improved as well, which I think has helped tremendously.