[Mominalberta]

Hi, All

We have a possible match of a child with neglect as a infant. She is behind on many things, but flourishes in the right environment. Can they catch up?

[carlychan]

Most babies/children coming out of bio families have some sort of neglect. You would need to get a better understanding of what they mean. Was she put in a room with no light or human contact for the first year? Or was she left to cry in her crib for hours at a time? Neither is good, but there would be a HUGE difference in the outcome.

[lovemy6]

Read up on attachment disorder. That may be a bigger challenge than physically catching up.

[HOPEFULINPA]

How old is she? My first son came to me at 7 months weighing 9 lbs. The back of his head was flat from being left in a stroller or carseat all day. He was never held. He had no muscle tone whatsoever.

He is 4 now and is in the 60th percentile in height and weight.

My daughter came at 22 months. Also neglected, but not to such a severe extent as my son. She had no idea how to play with toys or interact with other children. She is 3 now and still struggles with attachment, bonding and playing independently without an adult next to her.

[thelowlanders]

Definitely all vary. But it was amazing to watch our FS develop so quickly by simply....wait for it.....here it is.... Taking Him Out of His Carseat. His head was SO flat! WOW. He started lifting his head, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, etc. Just by putting him on a blanket. Not special therapy, just attention. Sorry for the sarcasm. I just can't help myself but get overly frustrated at these babies sad beginnings. Glad you are helping.

[QueenEsther]

Originally Posted by thelowlanders

Definitely all vary. But it was amazing to watch our FS develop so quickly by simply....wait for it.....here it is.... Taking Him Out of His Carseat. His head was SO flat! WOW. He started lifting his head, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, etc. Just by putting him on a blanket. Not special therapy, just attention. Sorry for the sarcasm. I just can't help myself but get overly frustrated at these babies sad beginnings. Glad you are helping.

Ditto what Lowlanders said. Our FS arrived at 2 years old from a neglect situation. DYFS had categorized him as developmentally disabled and non-verbal. Literally, no one took him out of the playpen or talked to him. He had a wobbly, drunken sailor type walk, and 2 words when he came to us.

Almost 5 months later, the DYFS nurses did not recognize him when I brought him in for a checkup. He's a running, jumping, shouting, talking dynamo! He's using short sentences, asking questions, exploring --- he's a normal kid. We are doing early intervention, because he was substantially delayed in everything, but he's been evaluated for special needs pre-k, and they don't think he needs it.

Truly, neglect's effects can run the gamut, but I wanted you to hear another positive story - the value of things as basic as picking a kid up, letting him explore, talking to him can really make a difference.

And Lowlanders, I agree with you - I'm furious at the idea that this great kid was literally left to just stagnate, without any interaction or stimulation. I don't take any credit for his improvements - FS did the hard part - we just gave him the space to do the work of learning.