[thelowlanders]

Wondering what the older Fchild calls their foster parents. We've only had little ones that quickly call us Mom and Dad. We are not on a 1st name basis w/ children. It's Mr. or Mrs. "Smith". so....not sure what to be called by 5-8+ yr olds living with us?

[CaddoRose]

We haven't had kids that old either, but what we plan for is to tell them they can call us by our first names. I refer to DH as KenDad when I talk to the kids about him ask a child to go get him, etc. They can also use the term Mr. or Ms. with our names as well.

[sueinla]

Our FSs (4 & 9) called me Miss Sue when they first came to live with us. They later overhead my nephew refer to me as "Sue Sue" and asked if they could call me that as well. I don't think they would have been ok with calling us anything that had to do with mom or dad right away and we certainly didn't want to make them uncomfortable.

[Mkap]

our former fd was 8 and she called us by our first names but constantly slipped and called us mom and dad. But in her world she had many moms that helped care for her so she could have added me to the list.

[Happywife]

Our FS (7) calls us by our first names. That's how we were introduced to him six months ago.

That being said, I realize it is a tradition in some parts of the country for a child to NOT call an adult by his first name. I'm not sure what we would do then!

[blubutterflies03]

all my children call me Mom. The 7 and 8 yr olders only took 1 day to call me that. My daughter I adopted 11 yrs ago was older, 11 when she came and did not call me Mom until after her adoption 2 yrs later. She called me "Ms Darlene" for 2 yrs at first.

[marigold]

WHen my oldest came to me at four(two years ago today) he called me by my first name. Then he heard a family friend's foster daughter call her mommy Jane and aske if he could do the same. It was heart warming. Wasn't long untill I was just mommy! He even explained to his mom (biological) that I was mommy and she was mom. Now he will only refer to her by her first name (TPR'ed) and will immediatly shut down if someone calls her mom or me by my name! However his eleven yearold sis ( in a dif home) will still not call her f mother mom.

[DoYaReallyThink]

Our first fd's called us by our first names. Our current 6 yo fd calls us by our first names and her little sister has called me mommy from the get go abd dh daddy and by his first name. When we are introduced it is by our first name. Of course both sib sets have asked again what are names are. We give them choices of what to call us so they are comfortable. It is mom and dad with our first names and our first names.

[HopefulInTN]

Our adopted son was our first placement. He still calls us Mr. K__ and Ms. B________. We've given him the choice of calling us Dad and Mom or by our first names with Mr or Ms in front of it.

He has to call all adults Mr & Ms, and we expect the same respect if he doesn't want to call us Mom and Dad.

Every child is different.

[ladyjubilee]

Little Guy calls me by my name....well, ok, he calls me Wacky which is as close as he can get.

With the girls, they walked in the door calling me mommie----which was a big red flag.

[greenmama]

I can't imagine having an adopted child call you Mr or Ms...for a foster child we would be first names. With our son we are in process of adopting, we started as first names and now are Mom and Dad.

[HopefulInTN]

Originally Posted by greenmama

I can't imagine having an adopted child call you Mr or Ms...for a foster child we would be first names. With our son we are in process of adopting, we started as first names and now are Mom and Dad.

Neither could we when G came to live with us, but he has some extreme attachment issues that only got worse after the adoption was finalized. We are doing our best to work through those, and love him through his holding us at arm's length. A couple of days after the adoption, he began pushing us away as hard as he could, out of anger and fear. He struggles against receiving love and the stability that adoption brings. Some days are easier than others, but he still holds us at arm's length other days.

We aren't going to force him to call us Mom and Dad, but children in our family don't call adults by their first names.

[lovemy6]

We're Miss Susan and Mr Keith, but eventually, the older kids drop the formality and just call us by our first names. That's fine with us.

When we found out our kids were going to be ours forever, they started calling us Mom and Dad.

[chevyjewel]

I let my fosters old enough to talk call me whatever they want to call me.

I'm introduced by my first name but usually within the first couple days they're calling me momma or mommy.

I have absolutely no problem with that.

[filswife]

my 14 year old JUST started calling me "mom" consistently within the past week. We have talked about it a couple of times. He admitted to not being ready a couple of months ago. Last time he mentioned it he said he was on the verge of calling me mom, since that is what I am and do. I told him it was really whatever he is comfortable with. His biomom passed away two years ago so I understood his feeling loyalty towards her. He is totally allowed to have two moms, though! He wouldnt be who he is without either of us!