[denham]

I just wanted to follow up with you all since you so kindly took the time to help me out when I was crying for help.
I now have FD in daycare(as of yesterday). She did cry a little after I stayed with her for about 20 mins. I came home and slept for a solid 2 hours. I was able to get some grocery shopping in and clean up my car and kitchen. It may sound trivial, but I was so elated to be able to just have some thinking time. She loves her daycare and when I went to pick her up she told me that she was not ready to go home "just yet". So today, I took her back, still some tears but gave her lots of hugs and kisses and then she was off like a bandit.
I was so more able to handle her when she came home, we were able to play longer and she helped me with "cooking" dinner and feeding the cats - tasks that i totally left her out of because I was rushing to get everything done on the previous days.
So, I have lasted a week and now I feel so much better - I think I can actually do this
Thanks again to all of you. I hope that this post makes some other newbies feel much better also, there are so many great suggestions and just knowing that I am not by myself in this is such a comforting feeling for me. Please do not feel embarrassed to ask for help from everyone here - look what it did for me

[ranoutofnames]

On more than one occasion I have said "God created daycare for parents of 3yr olds". I too have taken my kids to daycare and then gone home to sleep.

[ButterflyBlue77]

Several times in the first few weeks of our current placement (two siblings, 22 months and 3 years), which is our first placement, I thought "I just want my life back". I seriously wondered if I really wanted to ever have kids (i.e., on a permanent basis, adoption or biological).

It helped me to make a concentrated effort to find the moments of joy in each day. Also, the support of a close friend who made the same transition, but from no kids to three kids, helped a lot. And I don't know if you are religious, but I am, and I have been praying like never before.

[stilldeciding]

Am right with you! I have had our 6 year old FS 7 days today and am wishing we never would have done this. I already have a 12 and 10 year old boy and I feel like literally I do not know what to do. But I know for me and DH we will never do this again. It has been so stressful on our boys and as sweet as this child is...he tantrums constantly. We literally are afraid to go out of the house, as when he tantrums it is bad. I have told our CW that we want him moved as soon as they can find another home. PLUS my desire is to adopt. But in this case, he has a sister...and if I can't handle him, I could never handle his sister too. Far as attaching to him, I have attached to him faster then my bio kids to be honest. But I am an older MOM so that may have something to do with it.

[denham]

I too am an older mom, not sure if that makes a difference or not. I do not think that I would have the courage and strength to foster again. I may change my mind with time but I think that I pour so much of myself into this one child , I could not imagine having the room (mental energy) to handle more than one. I continue to believe that as time goes on I will get used to the routine of things and not feel so anxious. I still feel like I want my life back too and yes, I do pray, without it I truly could not see the rainbows.

[stilldeciding]

I too am pouring so much into this child...he so deserves that. But I am older and have a heart and thyroid issue plus I am very anemic. I am 37 this month and DH is 40 today. I am more tired then normal due to my high blood pressure pills I take for my heart...and I don't have high blood pressure..so the meds make my pressure so much lower. I know for me it is age..I could not with age/health as a factor do this as a single parent. I already have 2 kids with their own set of issues...they are homeschooled too..but I really like this child BUT trying to balance my current 2 and this child is hard..but with that said...if we do want to keep him and he does become adoptable...we will be asked to take his sister..as they want them re-united. I would so love to take them both...but then my kids who are struggling would do even worse...and how would WE as a family and Me, as an older Mom with some health issues deal with 3 special needs kids AND FS 2 year old sister. So there is a lot to think about. Our intention was to straight adopt ONE child and we feel we can do that...but to take 2 more...one who is a challenge....I just don't know! Yes, I am very religious and BELIEVE that if God wants me to do this...I will. Even at the eleventh hour if God says keep this child...I will obey. I actually like this child...too much I think. But making a decision to keep him or not...there's more then just a want to keep him...it has to be right, it's got to be God's Will!

[shazwott]

I COMPLETELY felt that way! I am 36, single and never had any kids of my own. It is a huge change to go from being so free and having so much alone time, to being completely tied down. I thought maybe it was just the kids they had given me, or maybe it was just me. But what it really was, was me just learning to be a mom instead of what I used to be. I've learned to cherish my quiet time when they go to bed, and when I first started out, I took advatage of a respite weekend every month where I could just be free again for a while. I've been doing it for a year now, and trust me...it will get easier because after they leave, you will miss them more than you ever thought you would, and your freedom, although it is nice, is not as fulfilling as it use to be. A lot of it also has to do with the fact that you are not yet bonded to this child. Its like being a babysitter for a child but never getting to send them home. Once you start bonding with her, you don't mind it nearly as much.