[mypov]

My kids have gone to the local mental health clinic as designated by their medicaid (they receive this as part of the special needs adoption agreement) and have been ever since they were my foster children. I have for the most part liked the workers there. When one of the therapists asked me to meet with a behavioral specialist to see if he might be able to help our kids. We met with him once and he was very pleasant. The kids liked him too. However, I was a little uncomfortable and told the therapist I did not want my kids to work with him. She was baffled and tried to persuade me for the next several weeks. I stuck to my guns, though I had no "good explanation." She told me time and again that "everyone just LOVES 'E' and he is the best behavioralist that she knew. I was not swayed and neither was my husband. This actually led to a falling out with the therapist and we switched to another one who accepted that we had a right to decided who works with our kids.

This morning I opened the local paper to find that he'd been arrested on 10 counts of aggravated child sex abuse charges. I was shocked......for a minute. Though I had felt something off about him I couldn't put my finger one- I never, ever would have thought there might be something to it. Granted, everyone is innocent until proven guilty- but I now know that I for one do not have to wonder if my child was a victim of his.

I think far too often parents place their children in harms way due to naivety, or in an effort to be nice or do what is socially expected. There is another man from our church that was assigned to meet with our daughter to talk about baptism with her (which happens at age 8 in our church). We would have been allowed to be present even, but still, I did not like his vibe and simply told him not to come back. I offered no excuse or explanation to him. I don't owe him one.

My daughter was severely sexually abused by her bio father- which makes me much more vigilant in an effort to protect her. Still, think of how many people as adults admit to being molested and abused by adults in a position of trust. How many of their parents ignored their intuition? Scary.

My kids do have a lot of wonderful men in their life but I closely monitor contact with ALL adults and never blindly trust. I know many, many other parents who can not say the same. I hope for their sake and their children's it turns out okay for them.

Just a reminder.....TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS and DON'T PUT SOCIAL POLITENESS OVER YOUR CHILDREN'S SAFETY!!!

[mommytoEli]

i agree. when my sister was in middle school, one of her teachers gave my mom the creeps. my mom went to the office more than once about things the teacher did or said that she thought were innapropriate, she was brushed off so many times. about TEN years later, i saw his picture in the paper....sure enough....arrested for sexually assaulting a student. i wonder how many students he was permitted to assault before he was finally "caught." so i agree.....if you feel uneasy, don't worry about social politeness. sad, but true!

[potentialsinglemom]

Intuition is the best gift we were given. Good for you for listening to yours.

[alex9179]

I highly recommend "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. It is wholly about trusting your instincts. Thank goodness you listen to yours!

I'm a big believer in this since it has either saved me or alerted me plenty of times. Just because I don't understand why I feel uncomfortable doesn't mean there isn't a reason!

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by alex9179

I highly recommend "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. It is wholly about trusting your instincts. Thank goodness you listen to yours!

I'm a big believer in this since it has either saved me or alerted me plenty of times. Just because I don't understand why I feel uncomfortable doesn't mean there isn't a reason!

Another vote for this book - it and "Protecting the Gift" specifically about child safety, by the same author.

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by mommytoEli

i agree. when my sister was in middle school, one of her teachers gave my mom the creeps. my mom went to the office more than once about things the teacher did or said that she thought were innapropriate, she was brushed off so many times. about TEN years later, i saw his picture in the paper....sure enough....arrested for sexually assaulting a student. i wonder how many students he was permitted to assault before he was finally "caught." so i agree.....if you feel uneasy, don't worry about social politeness. sad, but true!

I WORKED with a teacher that ended up having sex with a 15 year old student. Worse, he actually lived with me and my husband for a year. I saw nothing that would really seem "creepy", but looking back I can see a few random comments here and there that I SHOULD have paid more attention to. I agree that we need to absolutely pay attention to our instincts and not brush things off!

[TxMom65]

I agree. If someone gives me the heebie jeebies I don't consider any contact.