[GoddessDanu]

Do you have a full time job as well as do foster care? I run a daycare and although I have a foster child, I also have 5 other children I care for during working hours.

I have been finding that the worker of my foster child has no respect for the fact that I work. She expects my husband and I to attend meetings in the middle of the day (he works full time as well) and she gets snotty when I tell her that if she wants me at a meeting then I have to bring my daycare kids. I explained to her that I couldn't close my daycare every time there is a meeting to discuss my foster child because that would mean a loss of revenue for me and it would also mean unhappy daycare clients.

I would like to hear from working foster families only, please. Do the workers respect your full-time employment or do you feel they expect you to drop everything when it comes to your foster child?

[mommy2fiveplus]

I work from 3p to 3a three days a week, so my schedule can be kind of flexible and Don works around my schedule so that our kids are not in daycare. This means that at any given time, one of us is available, it also means that which ever one is available is toting 5 or more kids along with them. We don't have a whole lot of meetings reguarding our kids and when they do they usually are at our house so the kids don't have to go to a daycare provider. Occasionally both of us are needed and they work around our schedule to have evening meetings on days I do not work.

[ladyjubilee]

I've found that I have to set clear boundaries....and explain that if I miss a lot of work I could get fired (again!) for missing time away from work for foster care.

Considering it happened before, the social worker is careful about covering things like doctor's visits while spacing out meetings I REALLY need to be at.

[Chancey]

Both my DH and I work full time. If a CW is going to make a home visit they have to come after 5:45 p.m. I have had no problem with that at all.

[Yash]

I never had any problems either. The CW always either came to my house after I got off at work. Sometimes they came as late as 7PM.

What sort of meetings does she want you to attend? I can't remember attending any meetings other than a TDM once. Everything else we had to talk about happened over the phone or during her monthly visit.

[mountaineermom]

They pretty much expect me to drop everything...luckily I can, my job is pretty flexible and my mom is my boss so I got lucky. Especially when I first get a placement, they expect me to do ten million things for the kids the very same or next day. I just got a call for a 4 year old boy about 30 minutes ago, I had to say no, but the worker said "he needs to go the doctor immediately and also needs a lot of dental work if you could also take him to the denist tomorrow" ...

[shaslove]

Mine is being really flex, but I have had to take a lot of time off up until this point. Luckily, I have a great boss so it has not been an issue.

[Biblemom]

The SW's have lives too and am sure they try and do what they can during business hours. I also have an in-home daycare but do my best to accommodate them. Sometimes they have the meetings at my home during naptime. Sometimes I have a friend come sit with the kids during naptime and run up to the meeting (I 'pay' friends back by watching their child/children for a few hours another day free). My workers know that I do my best to work things out when I can so that they are not as upset if we need an evening appointment now and again.

[GoddessDanu]

Originally Posted by Biblemom

Sometimes I have a friend come sit with the kids during naptime and run up to the meeting

See, that wouldn't work for me because I have to have someone who has done a background check and is registered with the state child care division to look after my daycare kids. If an inspector comes while I'm gone and sees that my friend is watching the kids, I could lose my daycare license and be fined.

I just took my daycare kids (4 of them) with me to drop Frank off at his visit then we had to swing by WIC to get all the information changed from his previous foster family to mine. Baby E screamed her head off the whole time we were there. Don't ask me why, I tried holding her, tried giving her a bottle, etc. I think she was just hot. It's in the 90's today. But the WIC people were SO nice about me dragging my daycare kids with me and even gave them each a tube of toothpaste and a tooth brush.

I guess if I want to look at the silver lining, this is all good training in case we adopt those four kids!

[teachermomof3]

We both work full time and our cws have been great with scheduling things in the evening. I did complain about last minute notice on semi-annual review meetings. We were told we didn't have to attend those, but I wanted to make sure my kids progress was reported, so I always do. Anyway, they said everyone got two weeks notice except fp got one week, so my cw said they would consider changing that as office policy, we'll see. We missed work this year for court and the initial adoption meeting after tpr was granted, but that's it. I agree with the post that said set your boundaries and stick to them.

[potentialsinglemom]

The CWs I deal with do transport for parent/child visits. I choose to go his doctors visits. I schedule doctors and CWs visits on the same day. If they are unable to make that day, they will come after hours for a short walk through and visit.

Yeah...the flexibility is there.

[fostapeepz]

I run my own business, which gives me flexibility - but also more responsibility than a job. I found that what worked for me (and for my customers) was to pick a day and not be open that day. That gave me a day for scheduling appts, and for the caseworker to schedule meetings she expected me to attend. I had to take a few other days off for court dates. We've managed to make it work - but it's been a lot. I do think I would feel much less stressed if I didn't have the balancing act of home/work/system.

[DannieAS]

GoddessD--sorry the worker is giving you grief.

One thing I've learned is that this is the state/county employees we are talking about...much like public school employees. Most of the time they need to have their stuff done by 4:30pm...yeah some work overtime and such, but I do try to remember that they have families to get home to as well.

I realize I am fortunate that even on a busy day, I can be out of work at 3pm and book it before they leave their office...and I can see where it is very frustrating when people don't have that flexibility.

In my job we have to do our jobs during our contractual time...so I've been on the other end where a parent will be snotty with me as to why I can't come out on a Saturday and test their child or I've also been yelled at because their speech time is during school time and I should be mandated to see their child after school ends and stay there until the evening.
<sigh>
It's tough to navigate from both ends I suppose. I hope things settle down and there can be some sort of schedule that works out for both of you.

[GoddessDanu]

Thanks, Dannie.

I guess my whole complaint wasn't that I wanted the worker to be flexible with her schedule but that I wanted the worker not to be so snotty with me when I bring my daycare kids along. I used to work for the county, I know they want to go home at 5pm, I have no problem with that. And I certainly wouldn't expect her to work on the weekends. I'm fortunate enough to have a job I can "take with me", lol, so I don't mind carting the kids around. It's a lot of work, especially when one of them is screaming their heads off but I am still willing to do it. I just don't want to get dirty looks or even a snotty attitude when I show up with 4 kids in tow.

[mamachell]

I'm also wondering why you need to see your cw so much. Is it only once per month? If so, why can't she come to you once a month? Shouldn't she see the kids in your home?