[Heather5458]

well when C came to me 4 weeks ago he had a small earring in. He is 13 months old. My other placement is 14 months old. The daycare has asked with a previous placement for me not to send children with earrings because the other kids try to get at them. They did not say anything this time but A my 14 month old is taken with this earring and always trying to get it. I asked how long C's ear had been pierced and it has been long enough that the hole would not close up so I took out the earring. It was encrusted with gunk and the actuall post of the earring has turned colors. Yesterday the transporter asked for the earring for mom and I sent it and today after visits the same earring is back in his ear..not cleaned or anything still rusty green color earring. C is supposedly going home sometime around the 6th and I have had absolutely no contact with his SW. Ideas on what to do...He is picked up from the daycare for visits so putting it in just for visits would be difficult also I am worried that if I am removing it 2 times a week it could get lost...any ideas on how to make this work for all involved?

[greenrobin]

First, email the cw--if he's en route to RU, you need to know.

In the email, tell her the saga of the earring. Ask her to relay the info to the mom.

Next, take the baby to the doctor and get that ear looked at. If things are gunky and funky, you're looking at an infection. If the doc orders it out, then there you go. If not, I'd spring for a new one that was either real gold or hypoallergenic and try that. They aren't that expensive and you could be sure it was clean and ick free. Either way, the doc will be able to give you some advice and/or antibiotics to clear up the infection. And then you'll have medical documentation that you tried everything you could think of to help his ear heal while honoring the mother's wishes.

If you really only have him until the 6th, you just need to hang on. If you end up with him for longer, you'll have fewer earlobe troubles.

[Sdirector]

Wow... doesn't it say something about a birthparent when the biggest concern that they have is an earring?

I agree with the doctor's opinion as a CYA option, but it is too bad that you even have to go to those lengths for something that should be common sense!

[dachshunds4you]

We had an 18 month old with an earring...absolutely hated it! I asked worker, and she said I could remove it, and then just put it back in for the visit. This way parents wouldn't complain. I did just that. Left it out the entire time he was with us.

[EandDmom]

The 2 year old fs we have was 14 months when he arrived. He has both ears pierced. Thank goodness he had no earrings in when he came to us and his mom has never said anything about it. I just can't imagine walking around with a baby boy with ears pierced.
I agree the doctor is a great idea. At the very least I would take it out and clean it in some disinfectant. Sounds awful.

[chevyjewel]

To me this would be a non-issue but to each their own...

If it's just the earring itself turning green then he simply needs a replacement. The gunk is usually typical. As long as the hole isn't red or inflammed it's fine. You can buy piercing cleaning solution for super cheap just about anywhere that sells jewelry, but plain ol soap and water does just fine too.

I'd let mom know he needs a new stud that's hypoallergenic or better quality. That'll stop the green, although the green in and of itself isn't harmful, it's just not the most attractive thing in the world.

As a daycare provider myself I'd simply teach the other children not to dig in/at other children's ears. It's a matter of respecting other children's personal space. I have a few little girls in my home daycare (the youngest being 13 months old as well) with pierced ears and it's never been a problem. As long as the earrings aren't gaudy dangly things, just studs, I don't see how that would pose a problem.

[shavon]

I agree with most of you!!!! In MY opinion I dont think a parent has a right to peirce kids ears...Yes it is cute in little girls adorable actually but I think that should be the childs choice to have or not to have peirced ears. I would like for my little girl to have earings but it is not my choice it will be hers when she reaches the age to make that choice..

If the earings are causing him problems I would document everything, take him to doc. and if the doc. thinks it is infected then I would think that you would be able to take them out while he is with you. If it is not a medical concern then you may not have a right to do any thing..unfortunatley...

[chevyjewel]

shavon - how old is old enough then?

Is it fair to let a 6 year old child pierce her ears if she wants to? What if when she's ten she hates that you let her do it? Is 10 old enough? The child is still a minor until 18 and every decision you make for them or you allow them to make ultimately falls on your shoulders as their parent.

And along that same line of thinking what about circumcision? Cosmetic surgeries (I'm thinking hemangioma removals and things of that nature)?

We all make choices for our children that are long lasting.

And ear piercing isn't permanent unlike circumcision and cosmetic surgery is so I don't see the harm in it, especially if it's a cultural thing (for many it is...).


IMHO we have the right to make such decisions ourselves for our own children. This child's mother, I believe, has the right to get and keep her child's ears pierced without judgement. If it's the worst thing she ever does directly to her kiddo then I dunno, I personally couldn't judge her for that.

Big stinkin whoop. I can think of SOOOO much worse parents that DO have custody of their kids do to their own. Seems like a petty point to argue.

[committedsoul]

BOTH of my boys have their ears pierced... in my family, it's tradition... a double hole in the left ear... It doesn't make me a bad parent that makes poor choices... I am VERY adamant that my boys earrings DO NOT come out unless medically necessary (and it has never been) and people respect that... even the schools that they have attended.

I agree that the green is most likely from wearing an earring that is not good quality. As long as the ear itself is not seeping or inflamed, it's probably fine...

Also, I had both of my boys ears pierced prior to their adoptions... WITH permission from their cw.

It's tradition in my family... ALL of the boys have their ears pierced by their first birthday...

benny.jpg

[shavon]

Chevyjewl:

Like I said in MY opinion...I did not say it was everyones opinion only MY opinion...we are all entitled to our opinion. Like committedsoal wrote, it is her tradition so she has it done..her choice...it is not my tradition so I dont feel the same way.

My son at age 16 wanted a tattoo, for him to get a tattoo I would have had to sign a waver, no way would I sign it. He is now over 18 and he has 2 tatts...And he doesnt regret either one of them (thankfully) BUT if he would have regretted it and I would have signed the waiver he would have had some one to blame other than himself.

Any way...When my little girl gets 18 if she wants holes in her ears then she can have it done. until then there will be no holes. BY the way my ears are peirced..2 in one ear and 3 in the other. However my first peircing was done by my mom when I was young, I did not take care of them like I should have and they got infected a lot and now I have to wear super expensive earrings just so they dont hurt...

[greenrobin]

Committedsoul, that is seriously cute.

However, and for whatever reason, in my part of the world, many school districts will not allow boys to have earrings. And the boys just don't wear them. Many have pierced ears, but they just take the earrings out.

I don't understand how boy ears are different from girl ears, but there you go.

Non-issue in my book. Wear the jewelry, don't wear it. It's just an earring. But do keep the ears healthy. Infected earring holes just HURT.

[QueenEsther]

Heather, if it turns out you do need to keep the earring in, can you put a bandaid over the earring while he's at daycare? That way the other kids won't have access to it.

[stevenstwin]

Just to throw another thought into the mix. I pierced my ears as an adult and developed severe allergies to the metal - it triggered a systemic allergy that has made me unable to wear ANY metal - including belt buckles and my watch. My allergist said that is common when teens or adults pierce their ears, and that when it is done earlier it doesn't do that! As a result, I let both my girls get theirs pierced at age 6, and we've had not problems with allergies.

Originally Posted by shavon

Chevyjewl:

Like I said in MY opinion...I did not say it was everyones opinion only MY opinion...we are all entitled to our opinion. Like committedsoal wrote, it is her tradition so she has it done..her choice...it is not my tradition so I dont feel the same way.

My son at age 16 wanted a tattoo, for him to get a tattoo I would have had to sign a waver, no way would I sign it. He is now over 18 and he has 2 tatts...And he doesnt regret either one of them (thankfully) BUT if he would have regretted it and I would have signed the waiver he would have had some one to blame other than himself.

Any way...When my little girl gets 18 if she wants holes in her ears then she can have it done. until then there will be no holes. BY the way my ears are peirced..2 in one ear and 3 in the other. However my first peircing was done by my mom when I was young, I did not take care of them like I should have and they got infected a lot and now I have to wear super expensive earrings just so they dont hurt...

[Sdirector]

When my daughter was younger, my wife wanted to have her ears pierced. We both decided that when she was old enough to ask herself, she could do it. She was about six, and one afternoon she asked, so I took her and had it done. For her tenth birthday, I took her for her second holes.

My (soon to be) other daughter would love to have her second holes done. Right now, she is in state custody, and it just doesn't seem to be the thing that I am going to take up her caseworker's time to ask about (although I am sure that it would not be a problem...) I am in hopes that we will have an adoption finalized within a couple of months, so not a big deal.

[ang-n-noel]

FWIW, I have the same severe allergies to metals, anything other than 10K + gold will break me out in weeping blisters and make me feverish if too close to my skin for too long...

And my ears were pierced as a small child. I also had reactions before that, but not nearly as severe.

Originally Posted by stevenstwin

Just to throw another thought into the mix. I pierced my ears as an adult and developed severe allergies to the metal - it triggered a systemic allergy that has made me unable to wear ANY metal - including belt buckles and my watch. My allergist said that is common when teens or adults pierce their ears, and that when it is done earlier it doesn't do that! As a result, I let both my girls get theirs pierced at age 6, and we've had not problems with allergies.