[marathonmom]

I told my fd's caseworker that I couldn't drive to and from the visits anymore. I was very uncomfortable about the interaction my fd's mom. I was also very nervous about being followed home from the visit as the meeting spot was only 2 miles from my house. I tried this situation for 4 weeks but it just can't continue.

Now I am worried that they will move my fd to another fosterhome where the fosterparents will drive her to the visits. In your experiences do you think she will be moved over visit transportation?

Thanks for your responses

[Robbin]

Unfortunately, with my agency they would because that is part of our contract.

[FostAndAdoptMom]

I don't know... Some agencies will move immediately because they want someone that will bend over backwards for them and they don't care if it's what's best for the kids....

Other agencies have a person ("case aid" here) that has the job of helping with transportation.

However, I have a feeling that since you expressed your fear they may move her because they think you wouldn't be open to more contact as the parent progress towards reunification OR that you wouldn't be okay with open contact if it goes to adoption.

[momsphotoop]

My husband and I choose to take FD to the visits, it is not comfortable at all for me but I do it for the baby, I could not see having a stranger pick her up and drop her off once a week. I too worry about being followed but again I do this for her. I leave work and bring her to see her mom at the social service building then I go back to work and pick her up after two hours.
Where I drop off is the back of the building and the mom has to enter from the front so we rarely cross paths but she knows me and if she wants to she can wait for me to come out. Anyway, our meeting time is a very busy time, there are a lot of mom/dad visits going on and I am the only foster mom who brings the child, all the others are picked up by social workers. I just find it sad, that's my opinion.

[CaddoRose]

Every agency can be so different. I like to transport because I get to know the CW better and the other people who work at the CPS office where the visits are. My local CPS office will transport if I call them.

Next time, maybe you could talk to the visit supervisor and make some arrangements. My CW would meet me outside and take one set of kids in and I would leave. After the visit, she would bring the kids out and I would leave and then they would let the parents leave.

I too think it's better for my kids to have me transport them because they live in such turmoil, although I can understand you being uncomfortable with interactions with the parent. Sometimes that is hard road to manage.

[marathonmom]

I should have explained where I meet my fd's mother for the visits ... We meet in a parking lot next to a closed library on Sundays. There is no caseworker or supervisor for the visits, just my fd's mother and her fostermother and me.

It sounds like many of you go to the CPS building during office hours so there are other people around. I probably would feel better if that was a possibility but due to school and summer school for my fd's mother the visits have to be scheduled on the weekend or nights.

Hopefully she will not be moved over this. I am prepared but will be sad if it happens.

[EandDmom]

Originally Posted by marathonmom

I should have explained where I meet my fd's mother for the visits ... We meet in a parking lot next to a closed library on Sundays. There is no caseworker or supervisor for the visits, just my fd's mother and her fostermother and me.

It sounds like many of you go to the CPS building during office hours so there are other people around. I probably would feel better if that was a possibility but due to school and summer school for my fd's mother the visits have to be scheduled on the weekend or nights.

Hopefully she will not be moved over this. I am prepared but will be sad if it happens.

I wouldn't be comfortable with that either. I always did the transporting until they moved visit to mom's house now they pick them up and bring them home. Is she threatening in anyway? I suppose me doing it would depend on her personality type. I say if it makes you nervous though then you did the right thing.

[FostAndAdoptMom]

Originally Posted by marathonmom

I should have explained where I meet my fd's mother for the visits ... We meet in a parking lot next to a closed library on Sundays. There is no caseworker or supervisor for the visits, just my fd's mother and her fostermother and me.

It sounds like many of you go to the CPS building during office hours so there are other people around. I probably would feel better if that was a possibility but due to school and summer school for my fd's mother the visits have to be scheduled on the weekend or nights.

Hopefully she will not be moved over this. I am prepared but will be sad if it happens.

I would actually feel a little better since the other foster mother is there...

Is there a way to pick another nearby spot that's more public so you'd feel better? Maybe a fast food place (they always have people around) or a grocery store or something?

[mamachell]

I wouldn't feel that safe either. I am wondering: why are you meeting in a parking lot? Is there a park or something for them to do? I'm confused who's idea this was. Since the birthmom has a foster mom am assuming she's under 18?

Can you move the visits to your DCFS office to have more supervision? That's where mine are and I wouldn't have it any other way. And, I'm still nervous there.

[MamaS]

Why a parking lot? What does she do, sit in the car and cuddle the baby? Why couldn't the visits take place at her foster home?

[marathonmom]

They go to my fd's mom's fosterhome. It is supervised only by the other fostermom. The parking lot is just our meeting place.

[mrstkg1]

Do you have a problem with the trusting the foster mother also? Why don't you meet them in a place where you would feel a little safer? Can you bring someone with you to help you feel safer? Unfortunately, this kind of p/u and drop off is pretty common in foster care.