[bubblest]

Hi there! I'm a lurker who very rarely posts, so I have learned alot from you all over the years.

Here's my question...I finalized my daughter's adoption from foster care 2 years ago and now she's 3 1/2. I'm thinking about starting the process again, but I'm having a conflict deciding if I should just do straight foster care and see if anything leads to adoption or focus on low legal risk situations again. I loved being involved in foster care and have always planned to do regular foster care in the future. My concern is what kind of impact seeing children come and go will have on my daughter. Regardless of what type of placement we receive I plan to tell her that we are taking care of the baby/toddler until their parents are able to. Hopefully that will mitigate some sadness if/when they leave. Then if one becomes available for adoption that will be an exciting suprise for her.

For those of you who have continued doing foster care after adopting a foster child, have your children had any fears of having to leave when the see foster children leave?

Luckily, or not so lucky, I have some time to make decisions since I'm a single parent and have been laid off recently so obviously I can't start the process on unemployment! LOL!!

I appreciate any feedback you have!

[Withay]

I am currently in the process of adopting my fc. Thus far there have been no issues with other children leaving. This little one has been with me for over 2 years now. One long-term placement left after almost 16 months and my little one was sad for about 3 weeks and then returned to normal.

[bethy724]

Your child will react based on how you present the situation. I've done respite care since my son's adoption & I explain to him who will be coming to stay w/ us & how long they will be at our house (very easy w/ respite care not so easy w/ foster care)

I think honesty & your behavior will be the lead in your childs reactions. I've found that for most situations regarding children - they pick up on feelings & emotions.

[c.a]

We also adopted from foster care two years ago. When our son was 3 1/2 we accepted another long term foster care placement. "T" came to us at six months. He left us last week at just over one year old.

We also do emergency/short term foster care so our son is used to having kids stay for just one or two nights.

We did have a transition where "T" had overnight visits with his bmom. I do think those helped.

Our son seems to be adjusting very well. Yesterday he told an emergency placement that he "used to have a brother". He didn't seem upset by it.

I so think that we set the tone. We talked with him about "T" just being with us for a little while and that he had another mom and dad who wanted him to live with them. I actually think that our talking about "T" leaving has helped our son start to understand about his own adoption.

We are now waiting for our next placement - hopefully another adoption, but willing to take another straight foster.

Good luck.

[bubblest]

Thank you for sharing your experiences! It sounds like you all are saying what I was thinking as well. I will just be sure to be positive and emphasize that we are temporarily taking care of kids. She's really into babies right now so I know she will be excited to be my helper!

Thank you!

[laceyc]

I have a 2 1/2 yr old BD and she is really into babies right now too. I have often wondered about how fostering will affect her but I have really thought that she would be ok if we just tell her that these children will stay with us for a little while until their mommmy and daddy can take care of them again. I also think it's important that the adopted children or bio children know that you are their mommy and no one will be coming to get them to live with another mommy.