[lovingmommy]

Any one do this???? I just got a call for one and just would like to hear the ups and downs on this. Thanks so much.

[Newshyde]

Hopefully some people will have great advice for you. I haven't fostered a pregnant teen but before I did foster care I lived with one as a roommate and then after my brother left my sis-in-law (they got married at 17) I let her and my nephew live with me.
Some of the things I can tell you from those two experiences... no two teens are alike. Some realize that what they are taking on is going to be hard and appreciate the help they can get, the others will swear up and down that first, they can handle it, and second, they don't need a mom because they are going to be a mom and don't need help. The first situation is fine, the second is tough.
I had to figure out how to give advice, without making it appear like that was what I was doing.
Next thing I learned is that pregnant teens get a lot of crap from everyone around them, and they miss out on a lot of the celebration that can accompany birth. Now while I personally hate to see someone becoming a mother before she is ready, I realized that it is imperative for the new mom, especially really young moms, to be able to feel excited about the birth. If you can be that person that helps them get ready for it, instead of lecturing about how hard its going to be and how stupid their decision was, it will be easier to give that advice, help her think things through and develop a positive relationship, which is better for mom, baby and you.

With my roommate, who was 18 (I was 26), so technically an adult, having the baby helped her grow up and realize she needed to figure out what she wanted. She got rid of the bad boyfriend (the baby's daddy) and focused on herself. She also was more critical of the people she dated because she wanted someone who could be a good dad, not just someone to have fun with.
With the sis-in-law, the baby did not do that. Instead she felt like she needed to be able to have fun and resented anyone having fun without her. It made her really miserable and she sadly still is. She hasn't grown up yet and the "baby" is now almost 5.
With both teens I realized that being pregnant wasn't really the biggest issue with either one. It was more a symptom of their poor self-esteem and desire to please/control the people or men around them. The things they needed to work on went a lot deeper than being pregnant and being a teenager.
Hopefully that helps although I'm sure there are others who have better insight than me.

[lovingmommy]

Thanks so much for your reply... the pregnant teen I got the call about is 19 but she is only on a 14-15 age level... she is due in Aug. so not to long from now, my husband and I said we would take her for the weekend to feel things out a little just to see how things will go so I guess we will see, not that you can tell a whole lot in 3 days...

[EandDmom]

I haven't any experience but I can tell you many times I have wished I could have been a foster mom to my fkids mom. She is still a teenager and has 3 kids now that she has no idea how to mother. She had our fd at the ripe old age of 15. I can't help but think if someone had been there for her as a foster mom just maybe all of their lives would have been better.
My ds is still only 14 so I wont do teenagers boy or girls until he is grown but I think once he is if we are still fostering than pregnant teenagers is a group I'm very interested in helping. Good luck with your decision.