[sergekel]

Ok, we got 2 new kids a couple of days ago. They're really doing pretty well!

We live in a fairly rural area but we DO have people. The worker told me that they chose our family as these kids' foster parents cause their family is whacky and they wanted to place the kids on the opposite side of the county from where the whole clan of them lives...which we do. They said they were instructing the kids NOT to tell the family where we live and we were to remain anonymous.

Yeah, well....today the neighbor kid comes over and announces that, "Hey..I know these kids!!" Come to find out, the neighbor's son (the little girl's uncle) has been dating our new foster kids' mom!

So, now their whole family knows the kids are here...and who knows how long it will take for it all to get through the grapevine....although I tend to guess it's already gone through.

I immediately call the kids' worker and tell her the story. She wanted me to ask the little girl for her uncle's name, which she told. She said she was going to call the mom and get beck to me. Haven't heard any thing back.

I am not knowing what to think. I have been driving her 20.88 miles one way to school each day because we DO live on the other side of the county....and all to keep us anonymous.

I am wondering if this kind of thing has every happened to anyone and if they ended up having to move the kids?? We really like the kids.

Problem is the neighbor's sons always bring their girlfriends around...their house is a swinging door and their driveway looks like a parking lot with different sons and girlfriends, etc...coming and going. I just don't know what'll happen if/when mom comes rolling around??

I think the Dad's family is the safety issue, mom is just drama as far as I know.

I wish I knew what to expect and I just can't believe that the drama has followed these poor kids accross the county.

[MPJJJ]

It happens. In our case, my best friend's (and neighbor's) son was good friends with some of the bio family, and of course everyone knew where the kids were, which worried us cuz the mom is kinda mentally unstable. And what was even worse was all the untrue rumors going around when they were able to observe the kids from afar. But people automatically believe the rumor starters cuz they "had contact with the kids" when all they did was see the kids get into or out of our car!

[AmahMama]

We had a couple of little ones from "3 towns over" and needed to have some irrigation work done.... The guy htat came to work on the well "drinks beer with these guy's grandpa. Thought I recognized them when I was here the other day".... Turned out not to be a problem. County was real specific about where the family could visit and the repercussions of unauthorized contact. Never had a problem. I think the well-guy kinda gave updates that set bio's at ease. They knew the kids were in a safe place. I've had other parents find out where kids are and still in all the years with all the placements - only had 1 incident - and that was when a bio went to the church we attend - and we weren't there. different story - and still not a problem. Even then - any questions were answered positivly and the bio was reprimanded (by the judge!) and no more issues.

I have no idea what your county may decide to do - but mostly I think they will adopt a wait and see attitude to keep from having to move this child again. I hope so - every move adds a bit of trauma to thier lives. Sometimes it can't be helped - for all kinds of valid reasons - but if she can stay put - it is nicer for her.

[QueenEsther]

I'm starting to believe that there's a Murphy's Law for foster care - if it's possible to run into someone who knows the bioparents, it will happen. FS was left in the care of a few friends of his mom, and was subsequently removed and sent to our home.

FS goes to daycare in the base of a large office building. One day we were picking him up and some woman just started talking to him and trying to touch him....you guessed it, one of the ladies who had been a previous caretaker. She works in the building. She's still friends with Mom, and started lingering outside the building each day to see him and try to talk to him. Never said a word to me or my husband, just FS, who is 2, and doesn't seem to recognize her. I figured it was not a big deal, since all she ever saw was us walking out with FS, putting him into his car seat, and driving off.

Ultimately, she was getting a little aggressive, so I mentioned it to the Judge, who requested an investigation by the caseworker. I suspect FS Mom told the woman to knock it off, because she hasn't been waiting for us since then.

But yes, if it can happen, it will. My guess is that they will remind Mom that she's not to be in contact outside scheduled visits, and any additional contact will be trouble for Mom. Can you ask the kids what color car she drives, so you can be on the lookout, and maybe keep them inside or in the backyard if you think Mom's around?