[excited2adoptsoon]

How much of a say does the bios have in the day/time of their weekly visits with child? ie, can they say 8 AM is too early? or do they have no say?

[saxxxy]

Usually the foster parents, bio parents, and caseworker have a team meeting where the day and time is chosen by all parties involved.

Good Luck!

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by excited2adoptsoon

How much of a say does the bios have in the day/time of their weekly visits with child? ie, can they say 8 AM is too early? or do they have no say?

Where I live, scheduled supervised visits are set up by the caseworker. She arranges the visit around the birthparents schedule but during CPS office hours. She then arranges transport of the children-or alerts the foster parents to transport.

[excited2adoptsoon]

My bios caseworker scheduled visits in the AM and bios said they cannot come because it's too early to wake up and get there. I'm curious if it's expected that the meetings be changed to the late afternoon to make them happy.

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by excited2adoptsoon

My bios caseworker scheduled visits in the AM and bios said they cannot come because it's too early to wake up and get there. I'm curious if it's expected that the meetings be changed to the late afternoon to make them happy.

Interesting! I would HOPE that it would not be re-arranged for THAT reason. We had ours moved because of supposed WORK schdules, which seems reasonable - but I think if you want to show you are sincere about getting your kids back, no one is going to cut you slack because you don't feel like getting your butt out of bed. Unless, of course, it is becuase they work late at night? (in our case dad missed most 2:00 in the afternoon visits because he was too tired. Really!)

[kxl164]

Is it too early to "wake up and get there" because public transportation doesn't run many buses at that time, therefore they would need to get up at 5am in order to make it to an 8am appt.? Or is it because they are not morning people? Are they not "morning people" because they do not get home from work until 4am?

"Too early" is a relative term, I think they should have a clear reason, such as unavailable transportation, or work schedule, not simply personal preference; because the child has a schedule too and an early morning appt. might be best for an infant instead of messing with an afternoon nap.

The SW may be testing them to see if they will make the effort; however, it is up to the state to make visits available... so if there is a legitimate reason to shedule them for later they would, and should, do so. If there is not a legitimate reason then they SW will show the judge that visits were available but the birthparent chose not avial themselves of this opportunity.

[excited2adoptsoon]

Originally Posted by kxl164

Is it too early to "wake up and get there" because public transportation doesn't run many buses at that time, therefore they would need to get up at 5am in order to make it to an 8am appt.? Or is it because they are not morning people? Are they not "morning people" because they do not get home from work until 4am?

"Too early" is a relative term, I think they should have a clear reason, such as unavailable transportation, or work schedule, not simply personal preference; because the child has a schedule too and an early morning appt. might be best for an infant instead of messing with an afternoon nap.

The SW may be testing them to see if they will make the effort; however, it is up to the state to make visits available... so if there is a legitimate reason to shedule them for later they would, and should, do so. If there is not a legitimate reason then they SW will show the judge that visits were available but the birthparent chose not avial themselves of this opportunity.

They drive a car and they are unemployed. But my concern is that their lawyer will make it look like we were not being flexible enough. And I fear bios will later make an excuse why they couldn't get there early - the bios babysit other kids and they may try to say they couldn't get away because of that. Even if our meetings were scheduled at the ideal time for the bios, they still wouldn't show. So I was hoping our caseworker would schedule at the bios desired time to show we did everything possible and they still didn't show up. But the caseworker is irritated with the bios and she won't make it any later.

Do you think it's possible this can be held against us? or am I just paranoid?

[momsphotoop]

I just hung up with my caseworker, we were trying to reschedule the visits as well, since it interfered with mom's parenting classes. I am being very flexible for two reasons, if I don't work with them on this, they will just send someone to get her from daycare then bring her back. She is too upset after these visits so I want her in my arms afterwards, not back at daycare. AND I work literally across the street from social services so there is no reason I can't run there to drop her off and pick her up since she comes to work with me two days a week.

[kxl164]

Originally Posted by excited2adoptsoon

They drive a car and they are unemployed. But my concern is that their lawyer will make it look like we were not being flexible enough. And I fear bios will later make an excuse why they couldn't get there early - the bios babysit other kids and they may try to say they couldn't get away because of that. Even if our meetings were scheduled at the ideal time for the bios, they still wouldn't show. So I was hoping our caseworker would schedule at the bios desired time to show we did everything possible and they still didn't show up. But the caseworker is irritated with the bios and she won't make it any later.

Do you think it's possible this can be held against us? or am I just paranoid?

I don't think it will be held against you at all, the CW schedules the visits, they get your input to see what would work for the child, but it is the CW's decision, not yours.

The CW's job isn't to make everything easy for them, it is allow them the opportunity to visit. Life isn't easy and sometimes things are inconveinent, and the CW is giving them the opportunity to show the judge how important visitation is to them by their showing up. If they raise the issue of time for a legitimate reason, then I would expect the CW to change the schedule unless it would be harmful to the child. In the eyes of a judge a person with a no transportation issues and no work schedule issues who still doesn't make it to visitations doesn't make a good impression. If babysitting is a "job" and they can prove that, then that is one thing, but it is also something they would have to work out with the CW.

I would say don't worry so much. I know you will anyway, but try!

[stevenstwin]

curious about the babysitting....were their own children removed for abuse? If so, it makes me shake my head they are babysitting others!

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by excited2adoptsoon

the bios babysit other kids and they may try to say they couldn't get away because of that.

WHAT?! Their own children were removed and they are watching other people's children? A call to the child care licensing dept in your state is required. They shouldn't be doing childcare if they are unlicensed and if they are licensed, the state should know they had children removed for abuse/neglect.

[excited2adoptsoon]

I reported it already. The bio mom has told all the social workers herself and I'm not sure how they've handled it. It's her family's children...not a daycare setting. But yes, she shouldn't be babysitting if her own kids were removed. I think it's insane.

[jae101]

The Bios of my FS said the samething that it was "too early" And the caseworker did not change it because she said that by 9 the kids would be up and about and if she could not wake up to see them, then how would she do it once they came home. I guess it just depends on the caseworker

[greenrobin]

We've had 4 placements and with only 1 did we have no say in the visit time. Of course, we also were dealing with a sw who had a god-complex....

Visits apparently don't have to be during office hours--Bubba's and Sissy's NEVER were. We visited in the early evening, on Saturdays, or whenever we were all free at the same time.

With C, we visited during athletic events that C was in. With the Fabulous 4, we negotiated a time. Only with Queenie did we get told where and when.

[mamachell]

I've been super lucky that my CW let's me pick the day and time each week. Usually I'm not unreasonable and I've never made an early morning visit. They're usually either 3 or 4 pm at DCFS office and I can choose the day. I don't know what I'd do if the CW and biomom had all the say so and started making appointments for Tuesday at 10am or something right in the middle of the work day.