[faithlovehope09]

DH and I are having such a rough time like so many others on this board. This week we are saying goodbye to our precious FS. This is the first loss that we've ever had to go through and i'm trying to put a smile on my face and go on and pretend that my heart isn't feeling like it's going to fall out of my chest but it's not easy to do. Some others suggested that we ask to meet with Dad and see if we could have a relationship with him and our FS. We did just that and was able to meet with him and are now working on building a relationship. He thanked DH and I for taking such great care of his son while he got his life back together. He said he was definitely open to us having a relationship with FS and him and we exchanged phone numbers. this past saturday we went to the park with our FS and Dad and then dad came back to our house with us and stayed from 11:00am to 6:00 that night! We had a cookout with him and had a great time. My whole family is very supportive and we are doing everything we can for FS and his dad buying him food, diapers, clothes, books, and sending so many things to help him get started. He seems to be very appreciative and said he'd never take us out of his son's life. My DH's mom and dad watched our FS during day while we are at work so they developed a huge bond with the little guy and are devastated also. Dad is working with us to still possibly get FS once a week or once every 2 weeks which would be fantastic. Even with all of these things going in our favor, i'm still really having a difficult time. I just talked with my in laws and they made me cry said that the house just seems so empty already. He's on his first overnight stay tonight so when i get home from work he's not going to be there I'm so used to getting his bath and feeding him and snuggling and watching winnie the pooh i just dont know how i'm going to handle him not being there. I have to stay strong for our 3 month old FD though. She is going to know something is up and i'm sure miss the company of our FS. Heck even the Dog loves these kids and u can tell she knows!!! does anyone else have a dog that can just sense that something is wrong? it's amazing...
Anyhow i'm rambling now talking about my dog! Thanks so much for all that suggested that we try to open up our hearts to the Dad and we will continue to keep trying and praying that he allows us to be a part of our FS's life.
tear tear tear~~~

[shavon]

I wish I had some magical words...I am fixing to go thru the same thing...My heart aches so bad.

At least feel good that dad seems to be a good parent. I dont know what will happen with my fs when he goes home I just have to pray for the best...

Keep your chin up, hopefully things will get better. I will be crying on your "shoulder" soon...

(((((((HUGS)))))

[calimomX3]

I wish I could tell you it will get easier. But I lost my foster baby on Feb 17th and not a day goes by that I dont think of her. ( she went to a bad situtaion) She took a part of me with her. I dont know how to get over her and move on. We are no longer doing foster care because of the way the system treats the children. We had done it for 2 years but this little one was the last straw for us. Any how I hope u are doing ok

[dachshunds4you]

I'm really sorry...but I'm so happy for you in the relationship your building with dad. That is so supportive of you to do that, especially considering how you feel about losing him. It will be so much easier if you have that continued relationship with him. So many of us never get a chance to know how the kids do once they leave.

I can only say it does get easier. It takes time, but the pain does lessen. After all the kids we've had, I still think so much about our first foster daughter and it's been 3 yrs.

For me, having another baby in the home has helped. You're so busy that you don't have time to think as much about the one that has left. So I'm glad you do have another foster baby to help ease the pain.

As for the system...what can you do? I figure we're here to help out the kids, and even if we don't like CPS and what they do sometimes, oh well. We just have to keep trudging along like we do in all aspects of our life.

[blubutterflies03]

faithhopelove, I know how you feel. I am going thru it now and in the same aspect. Our Baby B went to his birthdad and we are trying to have a relationship with him as well. He brought him over for 1 visit already, but missed the 2nd one and did not call us, I had to call him. So, realize there may be bumps in the road, but hopefully they all lead to the right place. I am always worried I am am going to be too pushy and scare the birthfather away, so I try to give him his space and let him call the shots. Hopefully you find what works good for ya'll and what works wonderful for the child. take care and take one day at a time!!! hugs to you!

[msgypsylee]

Hang in there. It does get better. My little FD left me in April after being with me almost a year. It was really hard at first but is better now. I keep in touch with her mom and FD even came to stay for a weekend visit 2 weekends ago. It was so nice to have her here again. I have offered to be a support system for mom and she so far is accepting the support. I have my son here and that has been the biggest help of all getting over the loss. I hope all works out well for all of you.

[takingtheplunge]

There's a special place in heaven for you.

I think it's great that you are helping dad and can still see your FS and get updates. You have a big heart for making the transition so good. I think I would want to be vindictive and not want to buy him squat. If he wants to be dad, then he should stepped up sooner and should work two jobs if needed for the diapers, etc. But, that's all talk. I'd probably end up helping out too.

Your FS's life will be better knowing that two people loved him. Send him a letter and let him know that. My friends husband was in foster care for a bit, and all they have is records of medications and what food he liked.

{HUGGS}

[GaViolet]

I have not had any long term kids leave so I dont know how it feels. I think it is great that you have a good relationship with dad. I hope you all can keep in touch. I have a 1 and 3 year old fs that I have had for almost a year and they are going home at the end of the month. I know it is going to be very hard but I to have a great relationship with their parents.

[irelady10]

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. I don't have any words of wisdom, just lots of hugs for you!