[greenrobin]

Bubba has been doing so great lately.

At least he was until his goodbye visit with his grandfather and great grandmother 2 weeks ago.

At first it was fine--no fallout, no nothing. Then he developed another tic--this one verbal. It was flat driving me nuts! I called the p-doc who took him off of his ADHD meds. Bubba is a big tic-er and we knew this was a possibility. After 2 weeks off, we're changing the meds and trying again.

By the 2nd day off the meds, he started lying. Not stuff that is important, just weird things, like not having socks in his sock drawer. He could not have possibly not seen the 12 or so pair folded neatly--he just didn't look. Or saying he made his bed when he clearly did not. Or brushed his teeth. Or harrassed Jay until he blew up at him.

Today we were in a restaurant for lunch. When we got there we went to the potty. About half-way through the meal, he started bouncing around and yelling, " I have to go POO-POO!" Okay, except I have a real issue about a 5 1/2 yr old yelling poo-poo in a restaurant. He KNOWS this. So, I asked him to rephrase, which he did. Then I asked him to wait a moment until I was finished. He started eating again. The server came and took my card and he started again. I asked him to wait for the card to come back. He bounced, he fussed, he rolled, but he waited.

As soon as the lady returned my card, we went to the potty, where he ran into the stall and right back out again, looking very pleased with himself. I got very annoyed. I took him back to the car and asked him about needing to use the toilet. His eyes got all big and he stammered a bit and finally said, "I don't have to poo-poo, I mean poop, any more." So I told him his lie cost him a trip to Wally World. We'd go home where he could spend time in his room so that he'd be right next to the potty. He kept telling me he didn't lie.

Then he started to cry, of course. And I felt really evil and told him not to worry, we'd go to Wally World instead. So he stopped bellowing until I turned left instead of right when we left the parking lot. He said, 'I thought we were going to the store." And I said, "Yeah, I know. I lied."

So, he's upstairs contemplating the constant lies and I'm sitting here typing and wondering how much longer this is going to last.

One step forward, one mile back....

[meshsgrl]

By the 2nd day off the meds, he started lying. Not stuff that is important, just weird things, like not having socks in his sock drawer. He could not have possibly not seen the 12 or so pair folded neatly--he just didn't look. Or saying he made his bed when he clearly did not. Or brushed his teeth. Or harrassed Jay until he blew up at him.




Count your blessings you only have one!! LOL I have FOUR that do this!!!

I get the whole I can't find or don't have any socks/clothes line almost daily. What I started doing is saying "ok thats fine you can just go out without them". Be careful tho when you say that!! I took my 3 yr old to the WICC office the other day in pjs that didn't match and were WAY to tight Because when it was bedtime, she didn't have any pjs that fit her, then when she woke up she couldn't find any pants that fit. (this is the day after laundry day, so there was ATLEAST 7 pairs of jeans and 4 pairs of pjs in her drawer) So I was like "fine, lets go with what you are wearing"!!!
She also couldn't find the lucky charms when she wanted breakfast until I told her she could have oatmeal instead!! LOL

I have tried the lying to my kids thing too... I told my 4 yr old after a LONG week of lying that I had bought him a brand new green bike... He was soooo excited... then I had to tell him I lied!!
I find tho that its not the best way to handle it with my children, simply because they have such a hard time trusting adults!

so I have no wonderful advice... but am living through it at the moment!!!

[greenrobin]

Bubba has been here 19 months and we're on our way through the adoption maze. What bothers me most about this whole thing is that we had spent months without any untruths. TPR happened 1.5 months ago. He had not seen his grandparents in longer than that.

One single visit and everything goes kaplooey.

He's taken to flinging himself on the floor in the morning when he knows that he has to leave at a certain time. He can't find clothing, either (maybe it's caused by a virus that our kids came in contact with!). His shoes keep self-destructing. His toys are getting themselves out of the closet and flinging themselves all over the place. He doesn't want THAT to eat regardless of what THAT is. You know, the usual.

He was doing great. And I know saying goodbye is huge. I just wish.........I don't know what I wish. I wish that his mom could have pulled it together and gotten them back so that he'd have what he wanted. But she didn't, and he just knows that he hurts.

I am literally counting the days to the new meds!

And while I don't have more than 1 at a time with problems right now, I feel your pain. My oldest son has issues out the wazoo. Loads of fun when all of the kids play crazy at the same time!

We've been telling Bubba--and meaning it--that he'll go however he ends up being dressed. He's stubborn enough to eat the oatmeal. And he hangs on to his lies in the face of irrefutable evidence.

But this will pass.

I'm just tired and sick. I mean physically ill--I was in the ER earlier this week with acute bronchitis. It probably wasn't in anybody's best interest for me to undertake an outing today! A few more days and I'm sure my outlook will improve!

[Katwoman555]

I was told when my daughter was finally diagnoised with RAD that many times kids are put on ADHD meds as it mimics RAD so much. They can also of course have both, which is sometimes why some behaviors change and others dont. My daughter will lie to me no matter if I just watched her do what it is she is trying to convince me she didn't do. She also was playing the teacher this year for a fool. Had her convinced she was poor and picked on. She couldn't finish her homework because she had too many chores at home. She acutally did the homework at home because I watch for that and then "lost it" before she could turn it in.Finally got the teacher on board when at her parent teacher conference, I was handed a stack of late homework slips I had supposidly signed. There were 10. I had seen and signed 2. I hold the teacher responsible as well though as she should have noticed the signature difference, Teacher now has been researching RAD and is now in contact on a regular basis. This of course made it all the worse as everyone around her is now on board with this RAD. She can't fool anyone so now she has moved onto stealing. She went into our renters private room and stole art work. Took it to school claming it was hers. I was upset for the theft as well as the atempt at plagerism. As a result she stayed home from the fun 4th grade field trip on Fri. Consequences suck.
I wish you the best in dealing with this. I would talk to your P Dr about possible RAD. The sooner the intervention the sooner you can work on reversing the bad thinking. Good luck. It gets worse before it can get better. Our Dr keeps telling me this and just when I think we had gotten to the worst, we sink lower.

[greenrobin]

Thanks for sharing your story, Kat.

Bubba has been diagnosed with mild RAD, ADHD, and PTSD. There is a possibility of ODD, but the p-doc doesn't want him stuck with that one just yet.

The thing that fascinates me, I guess, is that without biofamily contact, the behaviors seem to get better. And I foolishly thought that since it had been 2 weeks without experiencing fallout from the goodbye visit that we got lucky. HA! The ADHD meds were just helping keep it under control.

After my last post, he decided that it was appropriate to smash Sissy's thumb with a toy because she hurted him. I don't doubt that she hit him, she just didn't do it to the extent that he retaliated. He went to his room and tantrumed for an hour, bellowing MOM, MOM, MOM! When the tantrum stopped, I started the timeout. Right now he's sitting right next to me, calm and content.

He has a history of hurting the small dogs, but his 2 target dogs have gone on to doggy heaven (no fault of his!) and I don't think he'll try it with the others, but I wouldn't be surprised if I was wrong. Instead, he's after Sissy.

I cannot wait for the new meds!

So much of this was in our past. I'm hoping this is just a short, ugly trip down memory lane!

[AKMama]

I feel your pain too. My oldest will lie about the silliest things too, and most you can clearly catch her and see that she isn't telling the truth. She'll say "I was just teasing," but it was clearly an intentional telling of a non-truth. She attacks her sister the moment she thinks no one is looking....even just walking around the corner out of the room I am in and hurting her sister as she passed by. I can often hear her hitting her sister clear across the house. And then she'll say "What? I didn't do anything." This, as her sister is crying and has red marks on her. It's awful, but I feel like I cannot trust anything she says or does unless I see it with my own eyes because the lies are so constant. Oh, and Heaven forbid anyone dare touch her or do anything to her! She thinks she can hurt others, take toys, name-call...you name it, but the moment her sister does anything to her, the world ends! And the crying and fits...the daily "You're mean. You're not my friend. I'm not going to talk to you anymore." It is draining! And I'm by myself with three little ones. It's too bad we have to go through this, but at least I know I'm not alone.