[irelady10]

A little background: I saw my fs' birthparents on Sat. (privately arranged visit- they relinquished their rights months ago). They were pregnant, due in Feb. They were in jail then.

So, biomom tells me she had baby in jail and dyfs has her- she doesnt know where. She hasn't been in touch with a case worker. Dad asks if I would take the new baby. Of course I say yes!

So, this morning I call dyfs inquiring about her. They have no record of the new baby. So, dyfs doesn't have this baby. I call birthmom, telling her this. She says dyfs placed baby with her grandma (no relatives were allowed to take my fs home from the hospital and that was only 12 months earlier!). But, if dyfs placed baby with grandma, there would be SOME record. So, where is this baby?

Now I'm worried about the baby. Who has her and is she safe?

Should I call the hotline to report my concern? One of the people today said they can't really investigate unless there is a referral to the hotline.

The more I;' thinking about the the less sense it makes and the more worried I am about this little baby (if there even is a baby- mom could be lieing about this, too!).

[MamaS]

If you are concerned, then you should report. It is not unknown for children to get "lost in the system". At least you will know where she is so you can arrange possible contact with your son.

[chevyjewel]

Why wouldn't you just ask your foster son's worker?

At least in my county kids from the same family have the worker.

If I were you I'd just tell him/her what mom told you and inquire about the baby that way. Sure would cut through a lot of red tape AND your concern has less chance of falling through the crack via an investigator that doesn't take the time to look into it thoroughly enough.


I get that hotlining is necessary and mandated but admit I have lost faith in it. One of my kiddos was taken into care for physical abuse. While here she disclosed incidents of SA to me. I hotlined the abuse and almost immediately (like within a couple of days) I got a letter saying the SA was investigated and found to be unfounded. Obviously being her foster mother I knew none of that was true, she didn't even talk to police until *after* I got that letter. I dunno, made me skeptical....

I'd trust a worker already directly involved with the family looking into this rather than someone behind a telephone.

[irelady10]

Chevy: I did talk to my fs' caseworker today. She considers his case "closed" because birthparent relinquished and I am about to adopt him. Also, his LG told me today that they may not be able to look into this unless there is a referral to the hotline. She suggested that I make the referral. I'm just not sure if I would be jumping the gun by doing that. I'll talk to both of them tomorrow. This is not the most stable of families and I am worried about the baby. What I'm being told just doesn't add up.

Thanks for the feedback.

[craftingmama]

Good luck. I have the same situation in Texas. mom lost 3 kids (mom is a relative) and now a year after TPR they've let her keep the baby. except that mom is in jail so she's given custody of said baby to relatives who again...a year ago couldn't get custody of the other kids. it's insane.

[hrisme]

I'd hotline it. IMO hotlining never hurts (some may disagree, so be it) & it's better than doing nothing.

[Yes2Kids]

I am in Texas with a simular situation, my AD, who is 3, her birthmom had another baby 8 months ago, and since her case was "CLOSED", she still has baby no questons asked. This is family, so I do know that she is still into her illegal activity. Would it do any good to call hotline, or would the birthmom find out??

[beccals2]

Originally Posted by hrisme

I'd hotline it. IMO hotlining never hurts (some may disagree, so be it) & it's better than doing nothing.

Ditto this. There is no harm in reporting it. Its not your job to sort it out. There very well may be a baby out there who needs help. If you don't report it, who will?

[committedsoul]

I guess my question is: What exactly is OP calling to report? This seems llike something that I would speak to the CW or supervisor about. There us no proof that the child is in any danger and if I were to field this call at the hotline, I'd refer you to the CW. There really isn't enough information to hotline anything. You have no idea if there is even a child to worry about, no location, no nothing. I just think you'd have better luch contacting someone already linked to the family. If the CW won't assist you, then go to the supervisor. However, if the child was placed with the grandmother (for whatever reason... I don't understand how they would place the baby when she couldn't pass a homestudy for your baby) and the child is (what they feel is) safe, I highly doubt they will place the child in foster care just because you have the sibling.

Just my $.02

Good luck!

[irelady10]

committed soul- What I'd be hotlining was a request to do a welfare chack on the child. There are alot of untruths being told about the location of this child. The CW won't return my calls- if she called me and told that its none of my business, then I'd let it go.

BTW- DYFS didnt place with grandma- DYFS has no record of this child.

[laceyc]

I'm a newbie at this whole thing and probably quite naive..but is there a way to do a birth certificate check to see if there was even a baby born?

[greenrobin]

Originally Posted by laceyc

I'm a newbie at this whole thing and probably quite naive..but is there a way to do a birth certificate check to see if there was even a baby born?

Maybe not a birth certificate, but the record of births may be considered public information. Why not try looking at the newspapers for the date that the alleged birth took place. Most folks let the hospital announce it.

And I'm with committedsoul. I don't really know that a welfare check is an appropriate use of the hotline. It's my understanding that that is for suspected abuse and neglect. You might could ask the mom for the known address and then do one yourself. I know you can ask the police to do a health and welfare check if you know the address, but I don't know if this would work either, seeing as the baby isn't related to you.

I know you're frustrated.

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by irelady10

DYFS has no record of this child.

Maybe they have her under a different name. I've had foster kids with different last names even though they had the same bio parents.

Also, she may have had the baby and given it away to a friend or family member (like grandma) without child welfare ever getting involved. Maybe she was just saying "child welfare took the baby" so she didn't have to explain what happened.

[irelady10]

Kat-L- I think you are right about her giving baby to a family friend. Somehow, despite delivering while incarcerated, DYFS was not called and the baby was given to a friend/relative. I pray she's safe.

I'm not sure why birthparents made up the lie about DYFS taking the baby. It doesn't make sense. It was a dumb lie. They have really alienated me now- and I've been nothing but accomodating to her and his birthdad with visits, etc. I haven't judged them and always tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm not sure if I want my baby or me sucked into their dysfunciton. I'm seriously rethinking the openess of the soon-to-be adoption.

I contacted several people about this baby- its in their hands now. I'm just the fostermom to her sibling- there's not much I can do except pass along the info I have.

Thanks for all the feedback!

[ImSue]

"...it do any good to call hotline, or would the birthmom find out??"

It is far more important that the child be protected than whether or not the bio finds out.