[potentialsinglemom]

My friends and I (all first time foster parents) were having a debate. Could you share where your children's parents stood in the following situations.

For those of you whose baby mama and papa's successfully completed rehab, how long did it take for them to get their children back.

Did CPS give the parents time to let the principles learned at the rehab to sink in or do that just come and pick up the child.

After the parents get a job, did CPS allow the parents to get the child immediately.

After the parents complete their rehabs, how long were they given to get a job and shelter.

If both parents (considering there are living together) are/were drug addicted and both went to rehab, were they successful at BOTH staying off drugs

[chevyjewel]

Rehab isn't typically the only stipulation that needs to be met in a case plan. After that is completed most need to spend some time in sober housing to continue their sobriety and get on their feet as far as securing stable employment and housing go.

In my experience kiddos can join a parent in sober housing if it's a facility where kids are allowed and it seems like they're headed in the right direction, but they're not allowed to leave the sober house with kiddo until they've got the job and place to live established. The three go hand in hand and it's my understanding a parent needs all three to get their child back (unaided so to speak - meaning out of foster care or away from the watchful eye of sober housing staff).

The timelines are different for every case, and out of 11 kiddos I've only had one father involved so I can't speak to parents in relationships going through the process together.

[4cats2kids]

I was told if rehab was compleeted they had to stay clean for 3 to 6 months and have housing and a job ect.. for the same amount of time. they also would have to attend AA or NA meetings as advised.

MY daughter and the babies father did not compleat their plans and were TPR'ed @ 13 months in state coustody.

[greenrobin]

Our kids' mom completed 2 stays in rehab. Her rights were terminated last month.

There's usually a bundle of stuff that the parents need to do to get the kids back--parenting classes, clean UA over several months, counseling, job, training, education, AA/NA and more.

The goal is to RU kids, but there usually are many, many hoops before that happens.

[AmahMama]

In our area, it has shown to be a case-by-case system. It seems to me, and this is based on what I'VE seen, that it depends on how long they have before their 'timeline' runs out. If the bio- had issues or it took a lot of time before they could get into the rehab - then their time was closer to running out sooner. This sounds convoluted - but not really. I've seen where the county has 'dumped' the kids back with bio much before she was ready - it seemed like they set the situation up to fail - and the kids came back into care and have gone on to adoption (3 sib sets like that). I also have known of ru's that were long drawn out transition processes - and those seem to have worked better, from what I've heard about and from them.

There is always more than just rehab in a case plan - one of the biggest issues seem to be - users seem to have spotty employment histories and have real problems finding stable work in a poor economy. Why hire a person who has a history of changing jobs or getting fired every few months when you don't have to - type of thing. And in many cases the county/state will assist the bio's in getting houseing set up - but they have to show that they can maintain the clean & sober lifestyle. And, unfortunately, a pair has not tended to make it (in my own experience). I'm not sure why, nor to I pretend to know much outside of my experience - but couples just haven't made it thru the experience together. In 1 case that I am familiar with the bio D would not admit there was an real addiction - and bio M chose to stay with D instead of doing her part of the case plan. here they each get a seperate case plan and seperate attorney. They seperate - 1 does their case plan - they ru - then after the 6 months of supervision - they return to thier old ways. Until the next time. It is almost ritual (or so it sometimes seems).

So, there is no answer to your questions. Just a lot of foster parents praying for the safety of the little ones that have been in care and then are ru'd.

[laceyc]

It's interesting that most of the pp do not have experiences where both parents did rehab and the case plan together. I was talking to a friend of mine whose dtr has been through rehab several times and she said that in the NA classes her dtr went to they said that addicts did NOT need to be together ....EVER. I guess it decreases their chances of staying clean...just a thought.

[lyly]

The mom of my foster girls is in her 2nd rehab in the past three months. When I asked the worker if this stay was going longer stay for her. He said he hopes so. But it seems like he wants to give the girls back as soon as she comes out of this rehab. I think this is crazy!

[potentialsinglemom]

My concern is that both parents are in rehab (which is great), but they have been with each other for years and are very dependent of each other. Dad's addictions are a little more wide range than Mom's. Dad has not had passed a drug test for a couple of weeks before Mom started not passing the tests. So the influence over each other is there.

I am amazed as well, Laceyc, that there are no stories of both parents working drug rehab and case plans together, successfully or not.

[chevyjewel]

Originally Posted by potentialsinglemom

I am amazed as well, Laceyc, that there are no stories of both parents working drug rehab and case plans together, successfully or not.

It's not that it's been a choice for them to work a case plan together or not, it's just that in my kiddo's cases (except for the one) all of my kiddos have been from single moms.

Single parent, single plan. Searches for the kids fathers have at times been successful but they were never seriously interested in gaining custody so that always left just mom.

[henderfive]

My fs was taken at birth. tested positive for several drugs. Mom went into rehab two weeks later. Stayed 4 of the 6mo. required. She preferred in house cause they offer all the classes the court orders. They helped her find a job while she was there. Meanwhile dad was in jail for the first 10mo, of the case. He started his rehab immed. did sober living. He also found a job and they rented an apartment 14 mo. into the case. they continued to do meetings and always tested neg. for drugs. When the 18mo. came around dad wasn't finished with the required caseplan so they were going to TPR. CW told mom have BD move out and then they would return the kids to her. The 20mo. into the case the judge r/u with mom and when BD finished (three mo. later) he was aloud to return to the home. 6mo. after that the case was closed. They have been on their own for 9mo. now. Maybe sine they were given a considerable amount of time and worked together it has been o.k. for them. I hear different stories that they are o.k. and then that they are not doing well. I pray a lot and unless I know something concrete the CW said there isn't much they can do. Hope this timetable helps.
Henderfive

[henderfive]

Amahmama,
Just finished reading your thread. You are so right sounds just like my situation. I do think they are back to their old ways. They have since moved to another aprt. and they never really thought they had a problem. They were very defensive always blaming everyone else. Especially BMom. She once said in a meeting the only reason she was here was because she got caught. Like I said I spoke with a CW and unless I know for a fact the children are neglected there is nothing they can do! In your experience how long before the old ways caught up with your FP?
Henderfive