[deadcalm]

today. She is going to a grandmother in kinship fostering. I have been up all night crying. I love her soooooooo much. WOW!!! It really hurts when a child leaves, even though it's not your child. I know my other fd will miss her too, since they were raised together. She will be an only child. The sad part for me is that I will always remember her, but after a few months she will forget all about the lady who loved and raised her for the first two years of her life.

[EandDmom]

I'm sorry. I know I keep thinking when these kids leave they wont remember us either and that hurts a lot. I'd love to send them a note and a remember us item with them but know mom would never give it to them or let them keep it.

[Mkap]

I am sooooooo sorry for your pain. Does Munchkin know her grandma? Have they had a good transition? Will you get updates or anything? You've had her since she was newborn, right? I'm so sorry. I am going to go through something similar at the end of the summer. I'm dreading it. Please let me know how you deal with losing her. Let me know how you work through this process. Take care.

[msgypsylee]

Originally Posted by deadcalm

today. She is going to a grandmother in kinship fostering. I have been up all night crying. I love her soooooooo much. WOW!!! It really hurts when a child leaves, even though it's not your child. I know my other fd will miss her too, since they were raised together. She will be an only child. The sad part for me is that I will always remember her, but after a few months she will forget all about the lady who loved and raised her for the first two years of her life.

Oh my thougths are with you today. My princess left on Friday and I felt like I was just gutted. My heart is broken to not have this baby with me every day. Its getting a bit easier though. I know that while she may not remember me, she will carry with her the love and positivity that she experienced while she was here. You let an impression tha she will not be able to forget. You're always with her. Hang in there, focus on your other child and try to create new habits and rituals for the two of you. God Bless

[calimomX3]

Oh how I know your pain. I had to say goodbye to my foster baby in Feb and not a day goes by that I dont think of her and miss her terribly. I am so sorry..HUGS!

[athikers]

I remind myself that even though the kids that leave (the little ones anyway) won't remember me, somewhere in them is the love we gave them when they so desperately needed it. It doesn't feel like it at the time, but that's even more important than if they remember me.

[MassachusettsMom]

I ditto Athikers. You've given her the greatest gift of love and nurturing during the most important years of her life. Even if she doesn't consciously remember you, you have played a huge role in shaping the person she will become.

[MPJJJ]

I am so sorry, but wondering why it took 2 years to move her with biograndma? I was told that after 6 months or a year, depending on the state, foster parents hold just as much water as bios, and if the child has been with the foster family for a year, preference is given to them. I am confused as to why they would move her after 2 years with you!

[faithlovehope09]

Oh i am sooo sorry My DH and i will have to experience that for the first time sometime later this year and i do not even want to think about it. We love our FS sooo much and the entire family has fallen in love with him. Your baby needed you desperately and you provided a loving, nurturing home that she will always have with her. they say that during the first year of life you learn more than you will ever learn in a lifetime and she was with you! What a beautiful gift! Hang in there~~~

[jllambert]

My heart is hurting for you today!! You are on my thoughts and prayers!! ((((HUGS))))

[deadcalm]

Originally Posted by Mkap

I am sooooooo sorry for your pain. Does Munchkin know her grandma? Have they had a good transition? Will you get updates or anything? You've had her since she was newborn, right? I'm so sorry. I am going to go through something similar at the end of the summer. I'm dreading it. Please let me know how you deal with losing her. Let me know how you work through this process. Take care.

Does Munchkin know her grandma? No, She doesn't know her. Biograndma last visit was in July 2008.

Will you get updates or anything? No

You've had her since she was newborn, right? I had her since she was 4 days old.

I will keep you posted.

[deadcalm]

Originally Posted by MPJJJ

I am so sorry, but wondering why it took 2 years to move her with biograndma? I was told that after 6 months or a year, depending on the state, foster parents hold just as much water as bios, and if the child has been with the foster family for a year, preference is given to them. I am confused as to why they would move her after 2 years with you!

I really don't know why it took so long.

I guess I would have felt better if I knew something about the grandma and her family. At least, I would know that she is in a safe loving home. But, I don't know. I can only assume she is safe, since grandma's home was approved for fostering.

[Newshyde]

I just wanted to tell you I know how much it hurts and its so hard. I feel your pain and can hear how much you love her.
I hope you are able to make some sort of contact with grandma, but understand that sometimes that just doesn't work out.
I think she will remember you, at some level. Maybe what happened to me this weekend will help you.
I got my FS when he was 10 months. At 22 months, so after 1 year he went to live with his grandma out of state.
This weekend I saw him for the first time in 7 months. at first I wasn't sure he remembered me and I figured he would have forgotten me by now. He ran away when he first saw me. But when I sat on the couch he pulled out the photo albums I put together.
When he saw my truck parked outside he said, "That's my truck."
Without prompting he started calling me mommy. Me and my current foster children visited for two days, Saturday and Sunday, and it broke my heart to leave him again. But I know that he knows I love him and your daughter knows that you love her. The positive love she received will stay with her, and hopefully you have photos and life books you can send that will help her remember you and help her grandma realize what an important piece of her life you are.
Hug her and cherish her in these last moments, because you will remember it forever, and then cry your eyes out.
I'm sending you lots of virtual hugs.

[Boulderbabe]

It's such a tragedy when they leave kids in a foster home for so long, and then say, "oh, but you need to be with relatives." Where was grandma two years ago? Kids aren't toys you can just put on a shelf. It's so disruptive to them to lose their homes at such a young age!

I am sorry you are going through this. Even sorrier for your fd. I'm all for kinship placements, but after two years? It's just not in the child's best interest any more.

[alys1]

There was no transition, no going back and forth, no visits? Do they think this is a living human baby -- or a toy? Would any of the workers want their own 2-year-old to move without a transition, without even being familiar with the person they were going to live with? If moving this child from the only home she's ever known is good enough for the caseworkers, then would that be good enough for their child?

As one of the heads of non-profits working with foster children in my area says, "If it's good enough for my child, then shouldn't the foster child have the same treatment?"