[committedsoul]

I'm just venting to A.com... Life has been hectic for me and I just don't know what to do...

The turn of events over the last few weeks have just taken its toll on me... I come here and comment, never letting you guys know whats going on... but it's just too much...

A few weeks ago, March 9th to be exact, 2 days after my sisters wedding, Benjamin sustained 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his back and buttocks due to backing into a hot steam pipe in my sisters bathroom as he was getting out of the shower... I took my baby to the hospital, and I swear, I have never been so scared in my life! I took pictures of the exposed pipe that my sister had asked the landlord to cover on many occasions, and I had to speak to social workers, and such... it was one of the worst experiences of my life!! I was able to being my son home and the burns are healing nicely. I took him to his primary care physician the next day when we got back to NC. He has been seen weekly by his doctor here (the accident happened in NJ) for a wound check and things seem to be okay... DHHS hasn't knocked down my door yet... The landlord hasn't returned my sister's phone calls yet, either. She didn't leave for her honeymoon as planned... she missed her flight because she and her husband stayed with Nathaniel... they were just as worried as I was.

While in NJ I was working with a non-profit that had purchased a car for my use. I have had the vehicle since it was driven off of the showroom floor in 2006. Unfortunately, the non-profit neglected to tell me that they were filing bankruptcy... How I found out? A call from the repo-man advising me that he was sitting in front of my house!!! The car had no equity and was almost $3000 past due...

So, the new job 45 minutes away? No way to get there... The doctors appointments for my son? No way to get there... School? No way to get there... MAPP classes? No way to get there... Supermarket? No way to get there...

I rented a car for the week, but that's way too cost prohibitive and I rented the car so I could take Ben to his appointments this week, and renting the car caused me to take money from the rent and utilities which will all now be past due... NC is a trip when it comes to renting a car... I paid over $500 for one week because I had to get their full coverage...

And to top it all off? My computer at home crashed. I'm using my cell phone...

I just don't know what else to do... I look at my boys and just think... OMG... what have I brought them into??

I'm in the sandhills of NC with no vehicle and a son with burns on his back and buttocks because of a slack landlord and a bunch of past due bills because I needed to rent a car because the non-profit that purchased the car went bankrupt and was $3000 past due on payments and I don't have a computer to use because it crashed because of a virus and the rent will be past due for April and I can't get to work or get my son to the doctor after this week and...

I just don't know what to do...

Thanks for letting me vent.

[carlychan]

I am so sorry you are going through this! That is a LOT to deal with all at one time. Do you have family near that can help? My thoughts are with you...

[Kelly Rae]

Any jobs close by that you could take public transit to? Anyone you could borrow a car from? I'm so sorry for all you are going through, it must be overwhelming. Your kids are blessed to have a loving caring mom. I will be praying for you.

[CaddoRose]

I'm so sorry about all of this. Sending lots of hug and prayers your way for a quick end and a solution.

[ca-bigsister]

Get a very good personal injury attorney. The landlord probably won 't respond to the phone calls. There really is no reason unless if he is a good person. Get a very good attorney who will contact his insurance company.

But this will take time. I am not an attorney but your medical bills should be taken care of, etc. However, there won't be any kind of settlement until the medical care is over, and if there are burns he will probably need some kind of care for plastic surgery, etc. So the bills will be taken care but it will take a long time (probably at least a year).

In the meantime, I would use your credit cards, if you have any. It is possible that the insurace company will take of medical bills but I don't know the law in that state.

I'm really sorry. I wish I could help.

[EZ2Luv]

I am sending you a PM. When it rains it surely pours. I will be praying for you.

EZ

[AmahMama]

I am so sorry to hear of the drastic events that you've been under the weight of.

First, if the injured child is a foster child - the department is required to provide transportation to and from medical appts if you are not able to transport. Beings as there has been unforeseen events in play here - it is not as tho' you are unwilling to - just temporarily unable to provide this.

Is there any way that you can qualify for a small car loan (before your late payments are posted as late) to purchase a second-hand car?

Is there any 'helping hand services' in your area that could help you out temporarily?

Do you qualify for energy assistance?

Please, please do your best to make your payments on time - due to the '*** rolls downhill - theme. If our agency (and we are licensed thru DHS) finds that we are late on our utilities and rent (or mortgage) we are in danger of losing our licensing. This isn't done to say we are not good foster/adoptive parents - but to satisfy obligation to the state and feds that the children are not placed in homes that are not able to provide for them.

If the children are not foster - do you qualify for emergency assistance from ADC? Sometimes there are church groups or other help groups that can offer assistance in cases like this. Better to ask than to continue to bury yourself. It is easier to get out of a 5' deep hole than a 20' deep one.

I am sending prayers and hugs - I know that these will not help financially - and to let you know that you are not alone in your pain. I know that that doesn't help any but please, keep your chin up and keep paddling.

Bless you and let the Lord work His ways to show you the way to help yourself.

[Withay]

I agree with checking with churches. Many times they are able to help, even if you aren't a member.

Also, check to see if you qualify for TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families). You may qualify for food stamps also.

I know how hard it is to put your hat in your hand and ask for help (not saying stand on a street corner), but you need to think of your boys and yourself.

Ask the clinic if they know of someone in your area who might be willing to help transport you to Ben's appts.

Please keep us posted. We care.

[EandDmom]

maybe call those people that transport senior citizens around. They may know how to help you get to the dr. you could try advertising for a car pool to your area for work. Does anyone you work with live your way? I also agree call a lawyer about the landlord he should at least have to pay the dr. bills. Best wishes and hang in there. If I lived in your area I'd be glad to help with rides maybe there is someone in your area that feels the same.

[committedsoul]

Thanks to everyone for sending good thoughts and wishes. It's a really tough time. I am trying to do as much as possible this week being that I have a rental vehicle until Friday. The job is over 45 minutes away and it was an overnight position. The only family member that would allow me to borrow their car lives 20 miles in the opposite direction and our work schedules would overlap, so there is no dice there. He has to be at work at 5AM, and I wouldn't get off until 7... not to mention he works in the opposite direction... it's a downright mess right now. Benjamin's school bus stop is 1.1 miles from the house... they only do one stop in the subdivision. They only take TANF applications on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, so I will see what happens with that tomorrow. I'm hoping that the county offers some type of transportation to doctor's appointments. I will keep you all updated. I am doing the best that I can I would like all of you to continue to pray for me and my boys to get through this tough time... My cell phone will be off soon and the house phone will soon follow... I don't think I've cried as much as I have in the past few days in a very long while... Please keep praying for us.

[athikers]

I think there is a very good likelihood that you can get transportation to doctor's in some other way. Most all states provide this, particularly to children on medical assistance.

I am so very sorry.

Your son will be in my prayers - well, make that your whole family.

[mamallama]

Do you have a retirement account that you can pull money out of? How about a family member that can loan you money to pay cash for an affordable used car? If you can get a car, you can get a job. And a job will take care of the bills. If it was me, my number one priority would be getting a car ASAP. I might get flamed for saying this but in your situation, I would even consider putting a used car on my credit card as a temporary solution. The monthly payments would be less than $500 a week for a rental car.

Have you done your taxes for the year yet? You should still have adoption tax credit and a refund could help secure a car. If Benny has special needs OR is a member of a minority group and over the age of 2, you should qualify for the entire $12k credit even if it didn't cost you anything. We got everything we paid in back and the child tax credit on top of that.

Also, call your local phone company and explain the situation. Ask to drop all your services down to the basic level. In most states you can get a phone line for $10 a month if you are in need. You won't have to pay your outstanding balance either. You can usually break it up into smaller payments.

[Hadley2]

When our daughter turned 16 last year, my husband discovered that cost of ownership over three years for a new, fully warrantied *** was LESS than what she would have paid out over three years for a six year-old **. Count in maintenance and higher fuel costs of an older car, and leasing can make a lot of sense.

When she got her car, no down payment on the lease was needed. Now they are asking $1300 down and $180/month. If you can find a way to gather the down (cash advance on credit card, maybe?), you could probably afford it. PM me if you'd like the make and model names on this deal. There are similar other deals out there, too, for other manufacturers and models.

[alys1]

1) Try getting ahold of these people: http://www.ibsenadoptionnetwork.com/
Ibsen Adoption Network, 2730 French Road NW Olympia, WA 98502 (360) 866-7036. Fax : 360-866-7059

Tell them your story, and that some nut in WA who's been supporting them for years suggested you contact them. Tell them the person said they know it's completely off their usual radar screen, but hopes they might care enough to help an adoptive mom *keep* her children, as well as uniting children with their families.

If they can't/won't, ask them if they're networked in with anyone who would help.

2) Tell members of your family/friends that you need help, you need them chip in whatever, monthly, till you get this straightened out. Then you have a cushion. Phrase it as "join in with the rest of my friends and family in helping me care for my children now." Most of my friends I'd give $100 to if they were in a complete jam, on the "What goes around comes around" theory.

3) Is there anyone who can help by taking care of one or both children for a while? So you can get more done? Don't know if your children are adopted or foster.

4) It would be great if there was some way through this site that people could chip in to help. Or if you had a Paypal account. If 10 people chip in $20, it's $200. Geez, I'd do without some danged thing to help anyone with 2 adopted children. I know people get edgy about that online, "What if it isn't a real emergency", but my thinking is, it's my money, and giving away $10 or $20 isn't going to hurt me. Thankfully.

Finally, agree with the suggestion re churches. You sure had everything hit at once, there. So sorry to hear.

[Bamamom07]

Sending prayers your way, hang in there! Check with the hospital that is treating your son. Our children's hospital actually has a van just to go get kids that need transportation and get them to their appointment. They also have social workers who know a lot of ins and outs of where to get help. Ask if the hospital has a burn unit social worker and see what assistance they know of. Sister, we all need help sometimes. Stay strong.