[Ssumner]

I am getting close to officially becoming a foster parent. I hopefully will be called soon, and am wondering what the foster care children should call me? If they are young, should they call you "mom"??? Or Mrs. "whatever" or by my first name??? We are in hopes of adoption too, but that will be for another post.

Thanks for your help.

[jp4ga]

Our foster kids always called us different things depending on the child. They never called me Mrs. X, that is way to formal when a child will be staying for more than a few days.

The kids called us: Aunt X, or Miss X, or Mommy X. Many bio parents will get hacked off if you force their child to call you mommy. However, if you have other kids in the home that call you mommy it may not be avoidable.

[sergekel]

The two we had called me and everybody else "Mama." Within 5 minutes of meeting me I was Mama to them, although I introduced myself by my name. Very confused children.

I've heard it recommended to introduce yourself with your name and let the kids take it from there.

[missymissus]

All 3 of the little ones we've had have called us Mama and Dada/Papa. The oldest one had just turned 2 when she was placed with us and was not very verbal, so I don't think she had the ability to "label" us as anything else.

The other two were so young when they came to us that they just naturally started refering to us as mama and dada.

[millie58]

Miss Millie/Momma Millie. I've had 9 foster kids (4 of them are now adopted) and I've given them the option of calling me mom; momma millie or Miss Millie. This is to let them know I'm not trying to take the place of their birth mother.

[humanchild]

I leave it up to the kids as well. I have always introduced myself as my first name. My first placement (a ten year old boy) was very attached to his biomom, and he always called me by my first name unless his friends were around and then he would call me mom. The two little ones, 4 and 6, started calling me mommy the very first day, and never stopped even though their dad told them not to call me that and I told them they could call me by my first name if they wanted. When their older sister came to stay, she called me by my first name, but her little siblings still called me mommy. My current placement is (hopefully!) an adoptive one, so I have told him I plan on being his mom forever and would like it if he calls me that, but he can also call me by my name. So far we are three weeks in and he has avoided calling me anything at all! I think to others at school he says I am his mom, but currently he is getting by calling me "you". I am not pushing the issue.

[CaddoRose]

I have an 18 month old and a 4 yr old. The baby doesn't talk, but the 4 yr old calls me Ms. C and DH by his first name. Other kids have called us Mom and Dad right away. I always introduce myself as Ms. C and then let the kids call me whatever they feel comfortable calling me.

[rishnj]

I didn't know what my 3 yr old foster son should call me. He's my first and I've never been called mom before. So I wasn't sure if even I was comfortable being called mom. I was use to AuntRe since I have so many nieces/nephews. So that's what he calls me and I don't have to worry about anyone's else feeling uncomfortable. On ocassions, he has called me mom or mommy. I answer we he does.

[cabbagepatchkid]

My foster kids call me grandma, mainly because my grandaughter was in my daycare when I first began to do fostering and that is what she called me. The 2 that I adopted still call me that most of the time, more out of habit than anything else. My best friends kids always called me Auntie Cathy and I loved it.

[mamallama]

We've always fostered babies and all the ones that have talked have called me Mama because they heard my husband and kids call me that.

[catkendig]

My name is apparently, "Excuse Me?" One of our 2 fs is 4yo and the most polite little boy I've ever met. DH and I told him our first names and said he could call us that. But he won't. Anytime he wants us, it's just, "Excuse me?" He does however, refer to us by our first names when talking to his Mommy on the phone.

[Kat-L]

My younger than 3 foster children have always called me "Mommy". If you do Mommy's job, you're Mommy. I always introduce kids by my name. "Darlene" always called me "Miss Kathleen" (her choice). She told me she already had lots "Mommies". Unfortunately, that was very true. She associated "Mommy" with being left.
With "Georgia", she knew my name but didn't call me anything for a few weeks. After a month or two, she started calling me "Mommy".

I just leave it up to the kids.

[greenrobin]

I've been called Ms. X by a former student who was in our care, and mom so often that I sometimes want to change my name. Our kids now say mama and daddy. But we always introduce ourselves by our first names and let it go. The kids get to decide.

My all time favorite was from Honey, a little non-English speaking Hispanic sweetie. After being with us for 3 weeks, she always called me Dama Mamacita.

Still makes me smile!