[klriggins]

How common is this? Its almost always post visit with any relative or previous foster family.... the 2 year old has diarrhea, plays in it and paints with it, the 5 year old seems to forget everything, and even the 6 year old now is pooping his pants....we deal with about 3-4 days then back to normal. What can I do to encourage them? I understand they arent doing it on purpose...

Or do i just keep plastic sheets on the bed for the rest of their life??

[chevyjewel]

I TOTALLY sympathize with you here!!!!!

I've lived this with the two year old for the last nine months he's been here. It has been unbelievably frustrating, not to mention disgusting because who wants to deal with poop on everything all the time?

The only thing that helped was putting zipper up footie pajamas on him backward (with the feet snipped off). It was a preventative measure only, never figured out a way to do away with the behavior for good, but he at least has a harder time getting his diapers off, which means less time to "play." On they go anytime he's napping or sleeping at night, constant supervision is a must during his awake times when he's just got pants on.

As for the 5 yo I'm guessing my brain would be mush trying to process everything that just happened. I'd bet he/she is just overloaded when they end up in brain fart mode. Something that's helped my own 5 year old daughter deal with brain fart mode is meditation of sorts. Sounds a little nuts but it really works for her. When she's feeling overwhelmed and starts to struggle like that she sits or lays on my bed, closes her eyes and "empties" her brain. She says she tries her hardest to just see happy pictures and block out all the thoughts. 15 minutes of this and she comes out looking like she's slept 10 hours. She's refocused and rejuvenated. Just a thought that might help if your kiddos situation.

What you say about the 6 year old regressing is a little concerning. I don't have a ton of experiences with SA, and I don't want to jump the gun but I've read regressing at that age could be an indication of that. Emphasis on could of course. It could also totally just be the stress of the visits. At that age if you're not worried about possible SA I would try to not make a big deal about it. Just clean them up, clean up the mess and move on.

Either way I hope you're able to get the kids a little more easily back on track after those visits. I understand how tough it can truely be. Big ((((HUGS)))) your way!!!

[LollipopsAndGumdrops]

I did the zip-up jammies with a safety pin through the zipper end for a tenacious toddler painter and I completely dropped all expectations of potty-training for one toddler who had similar regressions.

Could the 6 yr old be coping by encopresis because that's what his siblings are doing? Like a child whose siblings hit when angry is more likely to hit, maybe he's learned it as a coping mechanism from them. Is he the type of child who would respond well to helping you with cleaning up the younger ones? You could say something like, "I wish they could use their words to tell me what they are thinking like you and I can. You can tell me when you are happy or sad or frustrated or disappointed or worried, but the only thing they know how to do is go potty in their pants. I know it feels SO uncomfortable and they couldn't possibly feel good. If they could talk about it like we can then I would try to help them. One day they'll be 6 and able to use their words like you can to tell me what's going on. Will you bring me the towel please?" Then the younger ones don't get positive attention for it because your attention is on him, but you aren't talking to him about himself so he isn't pressured.

Some kids might feel too pressured from that because they need permission to have negative feelings, but if the 6 yr old is capable of expressing his frustration through coloring, playing, talking, singing, or any other constructive means then those are the ways you should be helping him channel his emotions.

The other possibility is that he's really needing comfort and attention but isn't express that and maybe doesn't comprehend it himself, and he sees the younger ones getting it by pooping their pants. If you decrease the attention he gets then and increase it when he helps clean the younger ones up with you or if you have a special cuddle time every day for just you two it might encourage him to look for other ways of being comforted.