[meshsgrl]

I currently have 4 kids, 2 seperate families, ages boy 15 mo (Very active and mischievous), girl 3, girl 3.5, boy 4.5. The older 2 are sibs I am working on their adoption, the younger 2 are half sibs. baby is supposedly going to dad soon... it keeps changing. I was told a month, a couple days ago, now tonight got an email saying 3-6 mo.
Anyways... there is another 1/2 brother age 4.5 who is in another foster home. They are closing and want me to take this little man! I want this guy to be with his sister who adores him and misses him... but I am not sure I can deal with 5 kids under 4 long term!! So I had kinda decided to take him, take a chance that baby gets moved in a month... but now I have to get a job in order to finalize the adoption on my older 2!!
At the moment I feel invincible!! Hey whats one more?!?!? He is very well behaved and has no major problems. ( I spoke at length with his fmom).
But I am afraid I have fallen off the deep end!!!
Any advice, thoughts or tips?!?!?!

[athikers]

If you feel like you want to take him.... take him. I'm all for keeping sibs together. And, talk at length with your adoption worker about whether you TRULY need to have a job, discussing all your assets, etc. It may not be that you NEED employment as a condition of the adoption.

[meshsgrl]

And, talk at length with your adoption worker about whether you TRULY need to have a job, discussing all your assets, etc. It may not be that you NEED employment as a condition of the adoption.

My adoption worker used to be my social worker. She told me when I first got the kids that I will most likely need to find employment, but to not mention it to the county to see if they bring it up. Now apparently they have and I have no choice, despite the fact that I am more then able to support myself without the kids reimbursement!

I am also not sure how my kids are going to do, adding another family member, going from having a sahm to being at the babysitters 2-3 days a week and going through an adoption!!!

[hockeywoman]

Well, if you are crazy, so are we! We finalized on our kiddos earlier this year, and applied for a sib group of 4 under 3. Plus my kiddos birthmom is pregnant and due in July/August, and most likely will not go home with the baby (circumstances that got my kiddos removed haven't changed / got worse). So if all these kiddos get placed with us we'd have 9 kids 7 and under! And just a year ago we had no kids.

[cabbagepatchkid]

You might need to look at this situation with your mind instead of your heart. I've had 5 kids before and have also had 4. Even though it doesn't seem like a big difference it really is. I can't even really tell you why I think so but I usually start to feel overwhelmed when I have 5 kids (especially when they are really young) but feel much less stressed when the number is only 4.

But now, I have to say that if I was in your situation, I would take that other sibling in a heartbeat ....I think we are all nuts...

[lakin11]

What kind of job do you have to have? Does it have to be full time?

What about doing a daycare in your home? Or something that wouldn't keep you away?

I'd take him! I love 5 kids, 6 is even better!

[meshsgrl]

I knew it!!! I knew it!!! I knew that if I came here people would think me crazy but not completely NUTS!! People in RL think I totally and completely NUTSSSS!! LOL

I thought about doing childcare and am still debating... but who would place their child in a home that already has 5 toddlers?

[timleenettesue]

I would take them all!!!! We have 7 kids total, 5 live at home, plus we do daycare for our grandson. So most days I have 5 that are 5 and under (5, 3, 3, 1 & 1). Crazy is normal here!!! We considered an additional placement the other day of a 6 year old but for behavior issues had to say no. Daycare in your home with a helper would be something to seriously consider. Keep us posted and God bless!!!

[makarios79]

As you may know, I am also single and I have had as many as 5 ages 2 and under at the same time....and I worked full time when I had the 5 of them...

As someone who has BTDT...I PERSONALLY would not EVER have that many kids that young and that close in age ever again as a single mother....especially if it's going to be long term...but that's just me and you are the one who has to live with it.

Even adding one more, is a huge difference for me...When I only have one of my children it is a huge difference from having the both of them.....I am less stressed and I can get a whole lot more accomplished

If the ages were spaced out or the kids were older or it was short term, or I was rich and could hire some help then MAYBE..but that is A VERY BIG MAYBE FOR ME!


IT IS REALLY HARD...VERY MANAGEABLE, BUT still hard none the less, especially working full time and having a million dr., therapy etc.. appts...

Good luck on your decision!

Originally Posted by meshsgrl

I currently have 4 kids, 2 seperate families, ages boy 15 mo (Very active and mischievous), girl 3, girl 3.5, boy 4.5. The older 2 are sibs I am working on their adoption, the younger 2 are half sibs. baby is supposedly going to dad soon... it keeps changing. I was told a month, a couple days ago, now tonight got an email saying 3-6 mo.
Anyways... there is another 1/2 brother age 4.5 who is in another foster home. They are closing and want me to take this little man! I want this guy to be with his sister who adores him and misses him... but I am not sure I can deal with 5 kids under 4 long term!! So I had kinda decided to take him, take a chance that baby gets moved in a month... but now I have to get a job in order to finalize the adoption on my older 2!!
At the moment I feel invincible!! Hey whats one more?!?!? He is very well behaved and has no major problems. ( I spoke at length with his fmom).
But I am afraid I have fallen off the deep end!!!
Any advice, thoughts or tips?!?!?!

[Mommyofthreetobe]

I think I would do it...most of yours can walk and potty themselves, right? I think the daycare idea is great, another idea would be to do Home Health care for disabled and seniors in your area, maybe? Depends on what certs you need in your state, but often those "shifts" are so flexible that you can do like three, three hour shifts a week or something, if you just need a part time job... It might be a pain to have to find a sitter for odd hours like that, but maybe better than kids being in daycare all day?

[meshsgrl]

I think I would do it...most of yours can walk and potty themselves, right?

My kids are very independent. They can all dress themselves etc.. I buy clothes with that are easy for them to dress on their own!! I think this is why I think I can do it!
I am actively looking into the childcare idea... who knows?!?!?

[lucmarmic]

I also had to find employment for my adoption. In our state you can't do childcare in your home if your a foster parent. So I had to think outside the box. Now I am a Virtual Assistant, I also do custom sewing, and now I have started a party planning business. All of this is from home so I can be with my girls. I just had to show that I am considered a small business, have a tax id number and the est income per business per month. It was all easy once I sat down and organized. With custom sewing I charge by the garment or job, I just finished a wedding dress and I charged 1800.00 for it so it took care of this months bills and only took me about 4 days to complete. Now I am planning a baby shower and I am charging by the hour for the event. My rate is anywhere from 15.00 an hour to 40.00 an hour depending on the size of the party and what the theme is.

[meshsgrl]

Thanks Luv... First of all I can't sew to save my life!! Second.. what is a virtual assistant and how do become one? I have looked at every home based job and can't seem to find anything that is legit!! I have lots of experience in lots of different things and love to try new things, but can't seem to find anything to that works for me!

[jbee]

how much do they want you to be making? we can watch 3 kids each, unrelated to us, and still be unlicensed (avoiding all the paperwork and such). dh and i only make about 550/wk, but it is a job technically. i don't know what they charge in your area...or maybe you could just do before/after school care for kids to lighten the kid load during the day.
is it a certain income you need or any job? our agency does not care, and i think would not even care if we had no daycare because we have 3 fosters and they consider it like a job. but the extra cash and the backup of daycare is a good option for us.
a friend of ours who does foster care too flips stuff she finds on craigslist and other places using craigslist and makes a little cash that way.

[jbee]

how much do they want you to be making? we can watch 3 kids each, unrelated to us, and still be unlicensed (avoiding all the paperwork and such). dh and i only make about 550/wk, but it is a job technically. i don't know what they charge in your area...or maybe you could just do before/after school care for kids to lighten the kid load during the day.
is it a certain income you need or any job? our agency does not care (although i know it is for your adoption, right, not the fostering that you need a job for?), and i think would not even care if we had no daycare because we have 3 fosters and they consider it like a job. but the extra cash and the backup of daycare is a good option for us.
when we were going to adopt ds our income had dropped signifigantly b/c dh quit his job to stay home and foster and work the daycare with me, yet the county still pushed it through because they wanted him adopted quickly.
a friend of ours who does foster care too flips stuff she finds on craigslist and other places using craigslist and makes a little cash that way.