[jphollen]

I didn't expect to feel so sad. First we were told our fkids would be here awhile since they had to be removed after they were r/u. Next they said 3 months, then they said they wouldn't go home until bmom could complete intensive outpatient (six months or so). Now they say they will return home in the first week of Feb right after court. My bio kids are so attached to them. They have never attached to any of our fkids so quickly, not even the one we planned to adopt (currently in RTC). I support r/u for these kids I just don't think bmom is ready. She just tested positive again two months ago. She has not worked her plan and she is hard to deal with as are these kids and I think they are just throwing in the towel so the agency doesn't have to deal with it anymore. I am so sad. The agency wants to transition two more kids in while these guys are going out. I don't know if I can do it. I thought it maybe easier at first, now I just don't know. Any thoughts?

[blubutterflies03]

with your case it sounds so crazy. They seem to be just pushing the case off their pile. A birthparent that just tested positive 2 months ago and it is RU? that is nuts. Hopefully somebody wakes up soon!! Have you been in touch with the childs attorney?? you really need to talk to them and speak up for the children. I am going thru similar RU emotions right now with my BABY B. We have court in almost a month and the goal is RU. Birthmom is not ready, but birthdad has surfaced after 10 months of not being in the picture. Hurray for who??? I wish your children the best for them, I really do.

[CaddoRose]

I can't imagine how anyone could think that it was a good idea to give kids back to a drug user. If she tested positive two months ago, then she is still using. How long will it be until the kids are taken back into care? It's so sad.

When my last set left, I made it clear that we needed a break to recuperate for a while. It's been almost two weeks, but I starting to consider another placement now. Maybe in another week or so. Down time is a good thing. You need some downtime without a placement just to get a vacation and be able to do some things for yourself. It's a time to emotionally heal. We're not robots after all.

[fostapeepz]

I send all communications to the caseworker, casa worker (if there is one), GAL and counselor. If I have concerns, I can call any or all of them and because I have communicated with them before, they have always been willing to talk to me. You might check in with one of them and express your concerns. You are also entitled to send a report to the judge for court. If you don't get a form in the mail, you can actually get it online. I do my own in word, that way I don't worry about the judge being able to read my handwriting. It doesn't ensure that your fkids will stay, but it might enlighten them to issues that need close supervision or resolved.

Good luck!

[jphollen]

Thanks! These kids were ru with bmom this summer in June and July (one went one month and then the other) problems by August and removed in November. The had been in care for 15 months the first time (not with me).

I am still in shock I guess because last I knew bmom had to complete intensive OP first. The only reason she doesn't have to do inpatient is because of the 17 year old that is still at home. I am going to find out who there GAL is today. I it sounds weird that I don't know but they haven't had a court hearing since we got them and had to be reassigned after ru.

My 13 year old has Aspergers, OCD and a few other issues. She does very well but normally never gets very attached but this time of course she is. Our three year old is extremely attached as well. I am heart broken for them too.

[sergekel]

Maybe if they do leave you can keep the beds open instead of transitioning in other kids.

It would stink if these kids came back into care in a little while but you were full with new kids.

With that said, I don't know how you'd know how long you'd want to wait for them before deciding to take more kids. I think your gut will let you know.

((hugs))

[jphollen]

Originally Posted by sergekel

Maybe if they do leave you can keep the beds open instead of transitioning in other kids.

It would stink if these kids came back into care in a little while but you were full with new kids.

With that said, I don't know how you'd know how long you'd want to wait for them before deciding to take more kids. I think your gut will let you know.

((hugs))

Thanks!

We have license for four, I would never take four unless it was because someone was coming back into care. We keep license number high because we do have specialized clearance and those kids count double.