[birdiebabee]

We have had our foster sons for 3 1/2 weeks now and the honeymoon stage is officially OVER. Oh boy are we in for it. As of Saturday M became the time-out king. He has spent so much time in time-out that it is no longer effective! We have moved onto "Go to your room" which he HATES. He stomps all the way back there and yells at me the whole way there (thankfully he is speech delayed and I don't know what he's saying but I can only imagine!) He is very comfortable in our home and I think he knows we will not hurt him. When we tell him not to do something he tells us "No" or "stop it" or "Yeave me yone" OR "don't touch" when we try to put him in time out. Little Man throws the world's WORST tantrum (or worst that I have experienced anyways). We have to lower him to the ground because he slams his head back on the floor. He will scream bloody murder (once it lasted an hour) and then just get up and play like nothing happened! When M does something wrong Little Man copies and when I say 'dont do that' I get double NO's! They had a doctor appointment today and were simply out of control. I was attempting to hold two screaming squirming toddlers on my lap because they were literally tearing the room apart. In the future I schedule their appointments seperately. Other then the 'normal' terrible two's the boys are doing great! M is learning to use the potty. As long as you tell him to sit on it he will go. He does not know to just pull his pants down and go on his own...YET.

[sergekel]

In my experience, 3 years old is WAY worse than 2 as far as the kids' behavior being terrible. Good news is....4 is way better.

[shainamsu]

Originally Posted by sergekel

In my experience, 3 years old is WAY worse than 2 as far as the kids' behavior being terrible. Good news is....4 is way better.

oh, my goodness, this is SO true! my three year old is practically a different child than she was when she was two! makes me want to scream!

[Shelly77]

You two are scaring me about three year olds

.... We are awaiting our first placement of 3 - 11 yrs.

[jphollen]

I have 6 at home right now 13, 11, 10, almost 2 and almost 3. I always thought age 3 was worse than age 2...now I think these (youngest) two maybe tied!

[jllambert]

I also have to agree that 3 is worse then 2! It is the whining at 3 that drives me up the wall! That and the fact that by three they can be so defiant and down right disobedient! They can also be so sweet and loving when they want to that you can help loving them!

[reesegayla]

Originally Posted by birdiebabee

We have had our foster sons for 3 1/2 weeks now and the honeymoon stage is officially OVER. Oh boy are we in for it. As of Saturday M became the time-out king. He has spent so much time in time-out that it is no longer effective! We have moved onto "Go to your room" which he HATES. He stomps all the way back there and yells at me the whole way there (thankfully he is speech delayed and I don't know what he's saying but I can only imagine!) He is very comfortable in our home and I think he knows we will not hurt him. When we tell him not to do something he tells us "No" or "stop it" or "Yeave me yone" OR "don't touch" when we try to put him in time out. Little Man throws the world's WORST tantrum (or worst that I have experienced anyways). We have to lower him to the ground because he slams his head back on the floor. He will scream bloody murder (once it lasted an hour) and then just get up and play like nothing happened! When M does something wrong Little Man copies and when I say 'dont do that' I get double NO's! They had a doctor appointment today and were simply out of control. I was attempting to hold two screaming squirming toddlers on my lap because they were literally tearing the room apart. In the future I schedule their appointments seperately. Other then the 'normal' terrible two's the boys are doing great! M is learning to use the potty. As long as you tell him to sit on it he will go. He does not know to just pull his pants down and go on his own...YET.

OMG! WE aer living parallel lives! little K is suddenly ver comfortable here and throws tantrums everytime I make him stop doing something (like drinking out of the dog bowl, or putting his hand in the toilet) He then throws himself on the floor bangs his head and throws anything he can get a hold of. Oh and also, after his visit last week, he doesn't sleep...at all!!! maybe for 1/2 hour at a time. Wish I had some advice but really i guess I am just saying you are not alone and i Hope someone can help us both!

[Kristin7]

So...what is the answer? I have a 2 1/2 year old foster daughter....but I have had her since birth...hasn't known anything else and I am the only parent figure/model for her....well other than daycare.

She was such a sweet loving compliant little girl until about a month ago....and then has turned into a little monster baby. LOL. She is hitting, sobbing until she about chokes herself from lack of oxygen....throws things, tells me to leave her alone, that she does not like me, that I am not nice etc. LOL. its cute...but at the same time so **** frustrating to see the negative change in her.

I have extensive background in childcare, development, parenting etc.....so I know all the techniques etc....but nothing is working with her. I know she is tired too as she is now fightng naps and not getting enough sleep. She is now climbing out of her crib and will not sit in a time out for nothing.....

I have to find something that works for her and figure out if she is just having tantrums because its normal for her age...or if there is something that is really upsetting her that I need to help her through.

Help.
K.

[1withopenarms]

Originally Posted by Kristin7

So...what is the answer? I have a 2 1/2 year old foster daughter....but I have had her since birth...hasn't known anything else and I am the only parent figure/model for her....well other than daycare.

She was such a sweet loving compliant little girl until about a month ago....and then has turned into a little monster baby. LOL. She is hitting, sobbing until she about chokes herself from lack of oxygen....throws things, tells me to leave her alone, that she does not like me, that I am not nice etc. LOL. its cute...but at the same time so **** frustrating to see the negative change in her.

I have extensive background in childcare, development, parenting etc.....so I know all the techniques etc....but nothing is working with her. I know she is tired too as she is now fightng naps and not getting enough sleep. She is now climbing out of her crib and will not sit in a time out for nothing.....

I have to find something that works for her and figure out if she is just having tantrums because its normal for her age...or if there is something that is really upsetting her that I need to help her through.

Help.
K.

My BD is the same age and I swear that she is the same way. I have 6+ years experience i childcare and let me just say... 3 is way worst that 2! Good Luck! I have another BD that is 12 months younger and foster ages birth -7 so I guess I'm just going to have to get used to 3's again.

[greenrobin]

Ah, the age of individuation!

Between 2 and 3, if I remember right, kids begin to figure out that they are not an extension of the adults in their lives. They have an impact on their environment. This is new stuff so they practice it. And that's where the no comes from. They are exerting their need for independence. It's apparently neurological, so rejoice because the kids are on track developmentally.

They are also on track to driving the rest of us nuts!

I hate to repeat the old adage of firm, fair and consistent, but that's what works. No, they don't like it, but yes, they will eventually respond.

For the original poster, you might try time in instead of time out. Hold your fs on your lap or seated right beside you for the 3 minutes. You don't need to interact with him, just be there. You can stop his head banging or flinging about that way. For awhile I had Bubba put his hand in my pocket and go wherever I went. I even went with him to the potty. He hated it, but he learned that I wouldn't give up. Sissy hasn't had to go that far yet, but she's currently in thrombotic threes and wearing on my nerves daily!

As far as honeymoons go, we've never had one. Just lucky I guess.

[EandDmom]

Originally Posted by shainamsu

oh, my goodness, this is SO true! my three year old is practically a different child than she was when she was two! makes me want to scream!

yep, I always tell everyone who is complaining about their terrible 2 year old to just wait for the 3's you will so be missing the 2 stage.