[thelowlanders]

I was simply told today by CW that my FD's mother just really has no idea what she's doing. That she really didn't know that it would be damaging to her daughter to badmouth our family non stop at visits. To tell her lies non stop at visits. You know...all that fun stuff. I replied that everyone has some common sense. She said, no... She was raised by an alchoholic and really didn't know any better...... Is she serious?! The mother went from behaving correctly to bad mouthing her daughter's outfits in front of me, telling her she was going home soon, and correcting her that I'm not her mommy, etc. while I'm standing there all the while glaring at me and egging her little "gang" standing there to harass me. But oh wait..... She just doesn't know any better.... Pllllease! She knows Exactly what she's doing. What is this a cover for when we go to court? I just don't get it. I know it's a vent, but maybe some of you can grace me with your wisdom from years of foster experience and convince me otherwise. I'm really not having any nice insight today.

For those of you kinda new, this post goes with the other one called "The puddling is back". These are the wonderful effects from this inappropriate nonstop behavior.

[ca-bigsister]

Wow - I really hope then that FD's biomom is signed up for A LOT of parenting classes, then, as well as a lot of individual counseling,

and, that all of her "I didn't know" is documented in the case summary to be given to the judge so the judge can make sure she is in very intensive parenting classes/counseling.

[jphollen]

lowlanders- we had a team meeting yesterday (both fkids present) bmom said my kids are regression and behavior issues are all because the have been placed with white people. Cw said she knew better and although we are all sure there are cultural issues the regression is most likely from having to be removed from bmom AGAIN. I honestly try to be respectful of all the cultural issues to the best of my ability.

I second the parenting classes. My agency has a rule about complaining about fparents. It cannot be done in front of kids at visits bios have to make an appt with the cw to do this. If they do it in front of the kids they are warned if it continues the visit stops....

[thelowlanders]

They said she's been taking parenting classes.

Also that now after 7 months, she has been clean for I don't know...I think 30 days or somehthing.

That's great. Just... Let's keep the Foster family bashing down please. They had her sign some lengthy statement on do's and don'ts of visits including not correcting daughter about the "mommy" issue. They asked how it went yesterday and if it got better. Nope.... She corrected her more than 7 times just yesterday. Ya, she's really concerned about losing visits. Because she knows that they would Never do that to her. So .... carry on. I just politely reminded the case worker that she's going to have to deal with whatever she creates when it comes to RU. So if not for her daughter, stop the nonsense for herself so she'll have less issues to deal with when FD returns to her.

Anyway, it was kinda sad to see her sabatouging (sp?) her relationship w/ her daughter by all the fake over the top excited to see you behavior. FD refused to let go of my hand. I tried to remove it, but she looked at me scared and started tearing up. She clearly did not want to go, as all the CW, CASA, and others watched. FD likes calm, predictable people. So.... This over the top nicey wicey "mommy" game was quite scarry for her. I just wish I could reassure her bmom to just be herself, plug away at her plan, and don't worry. No need to bash. Your daughter is very smart and knows you're her bmom. She won't forget. ..... good and bad that is.....