[aryn]

What did you do from the time you made your first inquiry re foster and/or adoption, until the time you started the process??

I am in the "waiting for the classes to begin" stage and although everyone has said the time would fly by, it hasnt. Its dragging. I called the office 2nd week of December (ish) and the classes arent even scheduled yet. They are thinking late March.
I have been reading a lot about foster care, trying to figure out how to change the rooms around, un-cluttering.

Is there anything else I could be doing? Should be doing? I've called them to see if there is anything I should be reading etc and they said no. Lol!!!

I guess I am just getting anxious. Who knows.

Thanks in advance.

Alina

[thelowlanders]

I don't know of your family size, but I would spend that time really building a strong foundation. You're going to need it. It's going to be exhausting in the beginning w/ you first placement and hopefully everyone in the famliy's "cups will be full" enough to handle the stress. Not to scare you, just speaking from my experience. My cup was full when I started, so we weren't on empty as fast as we could've been. When they settle in, you can rebuild w/ everyone. And maybe even be prepared for the next "season" of stress, like what we're going through. Oh, and read, read, read, all you can get on attatchment, etc. While you have the time

[Withay]

Use this time to do any major chores around the house. Believe me, once you start getting placements you aren't going to have time.

If the room you are planning on using for the children needs painting, do it now. Talk with friends and line up 4 people to be references for you. Childproof your cabinets. Get a locksafe for your sharp knives, medications, etc.

Depending on the age(s) and gender you plan on fostering (yes you get to choose) you may want to start, very slowly gathering items such as shampoo, toothbrushes, a couple stuffed animals, bed or crib and bedding, etc.

Check with your local office every 3 - 4 weeks to find out when the next class is scheduled. This also lets them know that you are excited to start your foster parent journey.

Good luck.

[aryn]

I have a 2yo and a 4yo. I have tried to talk to my 4yo about what we are hoping to do. I do it in a by the by manner, for now, and so far she just seems confused by it. So I havent gone any further in explaining it. I am hoping to get better info on how to prepare the bio kids in our classes.
We also plan on putting our daughters in the same room. So they are excited for that, and I hope that opens up some conversations between my daughter and I about the topic as well.

So thats what we have planned for the next 4 weeks at least.
Right now, my brother is here, staying from the Holidays. And he goes back to LA next week. Once he is gone, we are going to really buckle down on changing the rooms around.

Thanks for responding. This site has been of so much help.

Alina

Originally Posted by thelowlanders

I don't know of your family size, but I would spend that time really building a strong foundation. You're going to need it. It's going to be exhausting in the beginning w/ you first placement and hopefully everyone in the famliy's "cups will be full" enough to handle the stress. Not to scare you, just speaking from my experience. My cup was full when I started, so we weren't on empty as fast as we could've been. When they settle in, you can rebuild w/ everyone. And maybe even be prepared for the next "season" of stress, like what we're going through. Oh, and read, read, read, all you can get on attatchment, etc. While you have the time

[aryn]

Yes - we hope to get the major stuff done. We are moving our girls (2yo& 4yo) into one room. Now, the room is painted a soft pink, should it be painted a more neutral color or can we leave it the way it is? I hadnt thought of painting it until now.
Also - do the references have to be local? Or can they be across the states? Can it be relatives or only friends?

And the children have to have all of their own stuff? Like own toothpaste, own shampoo etc? I have xtras of all of that, maybe I'll just set it aside in a container so it can be saved for the FC.

As for medications, anything prescription we already have in a safe. Does every kind of medication need to be a in a safe, tylenol, advil etc?

Thanks for the input. Its very helpful.
I actually have called the office a couple times and the last time I called they said I am on the mailing list and I need to wait to hear from them.

Thanks again.

Alina

Originally Posted by Withay

Use this time to do any major chores around the house. Believe me, once you start getting placements you aren't going to have time.

If the room you are planning on using for the children needs painting, do it now. Talk with friends and line up 4 people to be references for you. Childproof your cabinets. Get a locksafe for your sharp knives, medications, etc.

Depending on the age(s) and gender you plan on fostering (yes you get to choose) you may want to start, very slowly gathering items such as shampoo, toothbrushes, a couple stuffed animals, bed or crib and bedding, etc.

Check with your local office every 3 - 4 weeks to find out when the next class is scheduled. This also lets them know that you are excited to start your foster parent journey.

Good luck.

[stilldeciding]

I am in the waiting process for a match. I have 2 bio boys which keep me busy...our process took us 6 months to complete but we took our time, but the process went smoothly and easy. Right now for you! Take this time to get EVERYTHING in order, your health-get every dentist and Dr's appointment out of the way, your relationships-take time to spend with everyone you love-build a solid support network and nourish the people currently in your life-maybe take a vacation and a break with someone you love...organize your home-take every corner, every space and re-do it, find a space for the child in your current home and have it ready, childproof if you haven't and childproof more if you already did, paint if you need too...get rid of major clutter, clean everything and make your home feel fresh and dust-free. Take time to exercise and take care of you..eat better, get on a great schedule, get some new clothes, a new haircut. Take time to read, educate yourself on adoption. If you have a faith, get involved more in your church. Right a journal of your experiences if you want...to give to your child when they are older about the time you waited for them. Most of all, have fun. A Happy, healthy, relaxed, taken care of parent equals the same for this new child..if everything is taken care of so will your new child, cause not only will you be ready but you will be prepared! Good Luck and enjoy the process!

[aryn]

Phew! Thats a lot of do-ing...lol. Yes, it all sounds like what will be needed before the ball gets rolling.
My husband and I spend time everyday, thinking of ways to get each room completed. By no means is our house a mess, its just unorganized with the holidays and my brother, from California, has been here visiting. As soon as he leaves (next week) we are going to start re-vamping the house!!!!!
I am excited, scared, happy, nervous...all emotions at once when I think about it our lives in several months.
Before I had my first daughter, we started taking adoption courses (due to infertility), so I am minimally familiar with all of it.

Thanks again.

Alina

Originally Posted by stilldeciding

I am in the waiting process for a match. I have 2 bio boys which keep me busy...our process took us 6 months to complete but we took our time, but the process went smoothly and easy. Right now for you! Take this time to get EVERYTHING in order, your health-get every dentist and Dr's appointment out of the way, your relationships-take time to spend with everyone you love-build a solid support network and nourish the people currently in your life-maybe take a vacation and a break with someone you love...organize your home-take every corner, every space and re-do it, find a space for the child in your current home and have it ready, childproof if you haven't and childproof more if you already did, paint if you need too...get rid of major clutter, clean everything and make your home feel fresh and dust-free. Take time to exercise and take care of you..eat better, get on a great schedule, get some new clothes, a new haircut. Take time to read, educate yourself on adoption. If you have a faith, get involved more in your church. Right a journal of your experiences if you want...to give to your child when they are older about the time you waited for them. Most of all, have fun. A Happy, healthy, relaxed, taken care of parent equals the same for this new child..if everything is taken care of so will your new child, cause not only will you be ready but you will be prepared! Good Luck and enjoy the process!

[ncsingledad]

Read! Read everything you can get your hands on about adoption and adoptive parenting.

To get you started:

"The connected child"
"telling the truth to your adopted child"
"parenting the hurt child" by Keck

There are many more, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head.

in NC, you will have to have all medications in your house locked up, even over the counter ones.

Welcome and best of luck in your journey.

Oh, and any time estimate they give you, double it.

[waited2long]

I spent my time decorating what would be the 'kids' room and collecting everything I might need. (I also got the rest of my house ready)

I used Freecycle & Craigslist to gather things from toys to clothing to furniture!! I'm a bit of an environmentalist, so I love that I can save things from going into landfills.

I have almost everything I need for a child from premie to 3 years old! All I would need are carseats, diapers, food/formula and a toddler bed if the child is too old for a crib.

I really enjoyed sorting through everything!

[blubutterflies03]

Take a bubble bath, weed your garden, get your roots dyed, go to the bathroom without someone following you in, or banging on the door. These are all the things you will have to make an appointment to do once you are fostering, ha!!

Really though, things seem to move so fast once you get licensed. Like you could get a call the day you are licensed. So, get your house ready!!!

[EandDmom]

Its been a long time since I"ve had little ones around so I started going to goodwill and searching for things I would need still in good condition. You have little ones so you may not need to do that.

[Happywife]

I spent a LOT of time on this site, reading everything that I could about fostering. I have learned so much from everyone here!

My dh and I also got 2 bedrooms set up (We don't have any children.) One has a crib, dresser, and bookshelf in it. The other has a bunkbed, dresser, and bookshelf in it. We did hit garage sales and thrift stores to stock up on some clothes, games, and toys.

I don't know if you're spiritual or not, but we spent a lot of time praying that we were doing the right thing.

[EandDmom]

Originally Posted by EandDmom

Its been a long time since I"ve had little ones around so I started going to goodwill and searching for things I would need still in good condition. You have little ones so you may not need to do that.

Forgot to mention I also read tons of back postings on this board. It was invaluable info the helped us so much.

[luvmykids4]

I agree with everyone else. Get as educated as you can. Do fun things with the family. Get the house in order. Peruse this forum. Do things that need to be done, as well as some 'frivolous' things. During the process, you'll be doing lots of paperwork, etc. and then you will wait ( or not ). One day I was literally floating on a raft in our pool with my whole family feeling very relaxed, and the next morning I was preparing to bring home a newborn from the hospital. I was so glad that my house was ready! Good luck.

[thelowlanders]

Oooh...The Connected Child... Best book I've found so far. Absolutely was "all done" w/ FD of whom no one else is willing to take, even Fparents of 20 yrs. I read this book and it gives you insight that is amazing.